AM~Erica Doesn't Need All That Stuff

So anyway...

Yesterday seemed to be a big deal to a lot of folk out there. Whether you are one who is in a relationship & was hoping to get or forced to give hearts, cards, flowers, expensive dinner, jewelry...whatever the case...or whether you are the person NOT in a relationship & is dealing with everyone else is getting or being forced to give hearts, cards, flowers, expensive dinner, jewelry...whatever the case...you are dealing with February 14th.

Here's my question for you: why does it matter? Seriously! WHY?

I think I have become bothered, over the years, that February 14th is the one main day out of the year to be showered with love & major affection. Just the mere expectations become a competition! The receiver of such "affections" want to show it off to others...and sometimes gets let down when someone else may have gotten something bigger, better, shinier, more expensive...

UGH!!!

There is an unbelievable frenzy that breaks out on Valentine's Day! It's stressful!

OK, OK...I confess...I do celebrate with my hubby. Well..............kinda....

It was 18 years ago, on February 14th, that my hubby & I fell into a holiday trap: we got engaged on Valentine's Day. But I'm not talking that down! We were young & in love. We were caught up in the whirlwind of the idea behind what Valentine's Day has come to be known as in this day & age.

But, with all the stress & over-the-top tokens to proclaim love for one another...well...it just wasn't enough! We show love to each other ALL OF THE TIME! With tokens & actions, we find our continued love in our everyday lives. That's right...the beauty in the mundane.

So, we don't need no stinkin' Valentine's Day! We do, however, celebrate the anniversary of our Engagement Day. (previous post on it HERE)

We make a big deal about certain milestones in our lives: we celebrate the anniversary of the day we met, we celebrate the anniversary of our first date, we celebrate the day we got engaged, we celebrate our anniversary. These are important connections thru our relationship journey!

Just because we got engaged on February 14th, it doesn't mean I need a $100 bouquet of roses that will wither & die, a $20-30 mylar balloon that will deflate, I don't need a heart-shaped box of chocolates...but I will certainly take the chocolate. I really don't need a card with chintzy hearts all over it. No stuffed animals, no expensive dinner, no blingy jewelry (the only one that mattered was when I said yes to my Prince Charming)...
Just spending time with him & reminiscing while continuing to dream of our future is the most romantic thing!

I'm about to tick off some businesses (i.e., florists, Hallmark, restaurants, jewelers, super stores & drug stores) when I urge you to think about the stress of Valentine's Day! Is it about the gifts & money spent? Or is it about the romance of the attention? And...why do we have to have the pressure of just that one day?

My hubby & I have "a place". We go there for our milestone things. If we weren't engaged on Valentine's Day...I'm not sure we would work going there on that day. Maybe it's life that has set in to open our eyes to the fact that Valentine's Day is so over-blown! We work going out for lunch (like this year) because we have kiddos who have schedules & lives that don't care that it's Valentine's Day, either! So we spread it out. We did it last year, too. Just going out for coffee was fine by us. It's about the time spent together...not the gifts! 

 As a Disney Princess (a reminder HERE), I love that my Prince Charming & I can see past the big show to know that our love is deeper than the biggest bouquet & biggest heart-box of chocolates on the same day that so many others are getting the SAME kind of thing! 

We prefer to share our quiet moments together, in our palace, while the kingdom goes about in madness of raised expectations. In our eyes, it's not about the size of the show, but of the show of affection...FROM THE HEART! It's different for everyone!  Just like each person's individual personality, style, wants & needs...that's how our relationships should be treated. If you are a simple person & then want to be lavished with a lot of expensive gifts just because it's Valentine's Day...and that's not how it is any other time...you might want to stop & reexamine that thought. 

Plus...I question as to why there should be an insane & near-impossible scavenger obstacle course to get these "sentimental tokens of affection." The retailers KNOW what is up! And they will price gauge your pockets out by inflating the prices of things to huge numbers! A $20 bouquet of roses does become a $100 expenditure around Valentine's Day. Heck, even restaurants have "specials" that are actually more expensive than usual on Valentine's Day. Our favorite restaurant even said, as they gave their specials, that they had at least a $1 markup of things because of the holiday! *face palm* 

Schools still give Valentine parties...and it amounts to some cards being handed out & eating some heart-shaped candy, chocolate, red or pink-colored candy, drinking pink punch or red Kool-aide...and that's about it. As much as I loved, Loved, LOVED making Valentine boxes back in the day...what has it really become except for niceties? These are kids, people! CHILDREN!

*ahem*

OK...here's what I'm saying: If you are looking for affections to be lavish & expensive just because it's Valentine's Day...you might need to reassess your relationship. I'm not talking about those who get engaged or married on that day. Good for you! But is it JUST because it's Valentine's Day? And how do you celebrate it afterward? As an anniversary or Valentine's Day? If you have to have the outward show to prove your significant other's love for you...uh...you're doing it wrong.

There are many ways to show love! They aren't always big proclamations! It's fixing coffee for your love to make sure it's done before they walk out in the morning; it's sharing the couch while the kids are in the room with you...just holding hands; it's sharing your thoughts with each other that, hopefully, includes your dreams for your future together; it's reminiscing about your past & seeing how far you've come...

I have seen this illustration several times...but in great timing...
...as I wrote this blog, one of my favorite FB pages & blogs, Snarky in the Suburbs, had this posted!

Can you be extravagant with each other from time-to-time? Sure! There's anniversaries & birthdays to cover some that...or no reason at all. The pressures of being forced to show love in a spectacle is a bit over-rated.

Grow what's deeper, first. The harvest will be greater. It will show thru if it's constantly taken care of...even if it may not appear as a lot on the outside...it's what's being grown on a deeper level.

My hubby & I don't get to spend a lot of time together out in public...however, people always tell us they can see how in love we are. It's starts at home. It starts by planting the seed & allowing it to grow. You aren't going to plant one seed & expect an entire garden harvest next week.

Just some deep thoughts from a princess still in love...thru the mundane...

A simple glance across the kitchen table at breakfast or dinner, just walking up behind your mate to give them a comforting hug; just a kiss before you leave each other's presence & an "I Love You", no matter if you mad at each other or not; just hold hands while you sit on the couch watching the news; a simple compliment on you really like that shirt on them...

Because there are singles out there who don't get this...whether it's by a failed relationship, someone they want to be with, or by forever losing their one-true-love: death, affairs, they fell out of love with you...and it's heartbreaking to have this rubbed into them, too.

How are you treating the look of love? As something very real...or a total charade to make it look like things are great...even if they aren't?

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica's Day of Celebration Crammed into Under 5 Hours

So anyway...

Yesterday was an important day! IMPORTANT! Hubby & I celebrated our 17th anniversary of being married!

*GLITTER CANNON*

And...it happen to fall on a Friday! This was really good for us since hubby takes Fridays off anyway. We tried to figure out our plans for the day...but there were a lot of really good options, so it was hard to make up our minds. Well that...and the kids were still going to be coming home from school at some point. So we would have to make the most of the little bit of time we had. Amm-i-rite?

So after figuring out timing of things amongst our options, this is what we decided upon to celebrate our day:

1. We wanted to go out for dinner, but we had some timing & scheduling issues up in the air...so we decided to close our eyes & pretend that lunch was our fancy dinner. Hey! As parents...you gotta make whatever work. So we went to "our spot". Remember? It's the place we found; WE LIKED IT & PUT A LOCK ON IT! So we went and ate a delightful meal (I'm clamoring for more, actually), plus we got there early enough to get a great window seat! It. Was. AWESOME!

And even though the daytime pics didn't turn out so grand (probably because I was shaking from the cold outside...go figure), I grabbed a quick pic of our love lock still in place.

Our SHMILY Love Lock at Cafe' Verona on the Square - 4/19/2013

2. Since we have embarked into the journey of discovering & enjoying some antioxidant-fortified Jesus water, we made the decision to check out a particular winery in the area. We made a small trek to the Belvoir Winery in Liberty, MO.

They have free wine tastings of their 6 varieties of antioxidant-fortified Jesus water, so we tried it out as we got some interesting history about the location.

The winery is what used to be the Odd Fellows Home. It's a multi-building complex, but the winery is out of the orphanage building. Not only is there the winery bar, but you can walk around to take in some rich history, you can hold events there...and even weddings on the beautiful front lawn.

However, the 2nd & 3rd main buildings are not in use...but...the 2nd was a nursing home (and asylum, maybe), and the 3rd was a hospital. All run by the Odd Fellows as their charity portion to society.

And for those wondering, no...we didn't encounter any, but there are apparently ghost sighting outings that do happen there, too. They even hold ghost-sighting outings called "Booze & Boos". There's even a tshirt they sell saying "I came for the Spirits. " (haha - clever) As a matter of fact, the show "Ghost Hunters" went and filmed there in February & will have an hour-long episode near the end of June. Teen Girl is dying to do one of these ghost sightings! Not me so much...so I'll wait for the Ghost Hunters episode. Mmmm-k?

Hubby in front of the Odd Fellows Home.
I realize it seems ironic...but just got a great pic from our visit.

Well, after sampling (I promise that we literally had about a sip) of each of the 6 varieties, we decided to purchase a white variety AND a red variety for our inventory & as an anniversary gift to ourselves! And after making our selections, they allowed us to take in one floor of the orphanage & then we could get our bottles.

Our anniversary Belvoir selections:
Casanova Semi-Dry Red Wine
Plumeria Semi-Dry White Wine

We really enjoyed it & learned there are more wineries in the area to take in! We have visiting to do...


By the time we had gotten our lunch in as well as our winery outing, we needed to get home...cuz...kids...and stuffs. Plus we were trying to figure out if Lil Guy would be having football practice or not. That's what was throwing off our dinner plans. And it appeared practice was on...so...

The family enjoyed our anniversary dinner of finger foods: BBQ wings, tortilla chips & nacho cheese, big soft pretzels...and some pizza rolls for the boys. Yeah...super classy like that! Then it was off to a very cold football practice!

Hubby & I decided to finish the night right...so we decided on coffee & dessert out. So...we warmed up a bit & got ourselves to go to Starbuck's. But, with the coldness feeling like a mid-to-late October evening, we both got Carmel Apple Spice (yes...apple cider) and a slice of Pumpkin Bread. *HAPPINESS*

We got our "us time", but as parents, had to work in a whole day's worth of celebrating into what was less than 5 hours. But we will take it! However we can get it!

And, after 17 years, we make the most of the little times. We've learned that over the years. Parenthood runs rampant in our lives...so we make the most of the rest of the time. And we will find small-yet-romantic ways to keep things in our relationship alive & fresh!

So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my hubby & me! HE IS MY PRINCE CHARMING. And my life's soul mate! I still don't know how I got him...but God had big plans for us...and I am so thankful & blessed!

1996 & 2013
Lookin' Good!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Remembers

So anyway...

As I continue to urge everyone to support SUICIDE AWARENESS WEEK (thank you to everyone who showed their support yesterday...it was beautiful), I pause today for a very important remembrance: the 11th anniversary of September 11th.

Many of us will remember where we were when we heard about it & remember what played out the rest of that day & weeks to come. My heart still sinks & I still get so emotional seeing the images. It's like it just happened all over again.

Do you remember for that moment in time when we all came together as one nation? Side by side with each other? For that moment, it had everything to do with being an American, in the melting pot...not a divided political nation.

Today, 9-11, is unofficially known as Patriots Day. Not sure why it's still unofficial. We all know it will eventually become a federal holiday. It's all a matter of time. As it should be.

And as we do remember, as in Alan Jackson's song, where were you when the world stopped turning that September day? I was on my way to work. News had come on saying that a plane had hit one of the towers, but word outside of New York figured it was a private prop plane & that "it happens". Then...just a few moments later, the news came across that the other tower was hit by a plane & the information began to unfold that they were much larger aircraft than thought...and there were passengers involved. It may very well be a terrorist attack.

I remember getting to work & joining in the shock that had fallen over everyone. Where I worked, at the time, had a travel agency involved since we had a lot of travel that happened within the company. I remember the obliviousness of the head of the travel department...he came off the elevators...whistling. He had no idea what had happened. We turned on radios to keep up with what was going on. I remember standing around a coworker's cubicle as things developed...and the Pentagon had been hit. There were about 6 of us stand around. We all about collapsed from what we'd just heard.

My hubby was on a business trip & was scheduled to come back that day. I had already been on the phone with his job to figure out how we were going to get him back home with the near-simultaneous shutdown of airports nation-wide. My hubby saw what was happening on TV...in California...excited to get home while being shocked by what he saw on the screen. He had no thought process that it might actually effect his travel plans back home. I was so relieved to talk to him on the phone, but expressed my concern about travel. I told him I'd already been on the phone with his boss' wife to figure something out. We discussed taking a train, but didn't know how that would work. Good thing...a couple of trains were taken over & derailed, too. So...rental car places had to do something they don't like to do...allow travelers to use the rentals as the main transportation to get them home. It took my hubby 2 days, but he drove to Missouri from California in a rental car. I had never been so relieved to have him back home.

It was a scary time. As parents, it was difficult to explain to young children what was happening. Teen Boy was almost 4; Teen Girl was 5 & in school. Since the internet was still very new in it's uses...it was baffling to see the images. And horrifying. So to see the video of everything when I got home to watch TV...with the kids...without my hubby...was devastating. I could just hug my kids & cry. It's all I could do. And remembering hearing on the radio when the towers began to collapse.

The lives lost...the city that was in total apocalyptic devastation...awful.

Not just the pictures of police & firefighters that had to step up that took my heart out of my chest...I think back to Teen Boy at that time. He was this adorable little guy with big glasses & a speech impediment wanting to be a firefighter. We needed to find firefighter gear & stuff for his birthday...but you couldn't find anything with firemen. Until 9/11...then (and still) you could find firefighter gear EVERYWHERE!!! Figures. But that was a positive that came out of it.

I also remember the pictures of people standing on ledges of the towers, just instantly giving up...and jumping...just plummeting to their death that they figured was coming anyway.

It because of the above paragraph that I am in awe that 9/11 is during Suicide Awareness Week. We saw it happening on TV...even live. There are people who made it out...so it's sad to think these people, in that moment, figuring it was all over & took care of what they thought was the inevitable on their own. That is tragic. It's tragic all of the lives that were lost because they were trapped, or hit. I cannot even imagine that...or what their families still go thru. But the jumpers could have made it out & told their story of what happened. We will never get their side of it. They didn't take the chance of the thought they might still have a chance at life. With the thousands that were killed during & because of the attacks...many, MANY made it. We get to hear their stories. That's what helps us attempt to understand what went on during such a horrific act. Civilians, police & firefighters became soldiers in their own right during that situation...and then heros. There were those who died heros, too. But to take your own life in the midst of the spontaneous [to the public] crisis is so disheartening. I can't even imagine their families witnessing what's going on & then realizing your loved one just jumped off the World Trade Center.

People, it was thru all of this that we came together. We were patriotic together. It didn't matter what color, religion, sexuality, size, nationality...or political party we were...we stood as true Americans, side-by-side, cheering each other on to fight for the good of our country.

The mastermind behind it, bin Laden, was determined to tear down our economy & our country. It's 11 years later. Guess what...is the fear that he succeeded? HE'S DEAD NOW & still reaping the benefits of his horrendous & cowardice act...and we are allowing it. How divided are we? How are we economically? The worst part is that we are having a near civil war about it. What happened to flying our flags & being patriotic? Poo flinging of politics because it's an election year? This is what we've come to.

As we focus on today...the meaning behind it...what happened with the bonding between Americans...what good has come of it as we live right now?

The nastiness ensuing during the political war...who's really ahead? I'm concerned it's the terrorists. When you make your pouty right-wing/left-wing posts just trying to tear down other American ideals...think about the divisiveness that bin Laden had hoped for stemming from the 9/11 attacks. Are we better country now?

*WHEW*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica (<= and I mean this whole-heartedly)

AM~Erica Stops to Admire Intertwined Hair

So anyway...

My hubby slightly issued a challenge to me to blog on this...so here it goes.

I realize I covered "hair" yesterday, but I swear it's different this time, so keep reading. Please. Trust me.

I love getting my hair cut. I do. I have tons & tons...& TONS of hair! Some of you may remember that if you messed with my hair in high school or tried to cut/style my hair ever. Tons.

Well, that was an issue for me back in those days. I cut my hair off, FOR GOOD, over a decade ago. My favorite part of the haircut? When it gets thinned. I love it. I know there's several out there who wished they had more hair, or are jealous at this moment because you are losing your hair. If I could be a donor for you , I would. In a heartbeat! I told my hubby I would do this out of a gift of love for his thinning hair if I could. He knows. We laughed about the gift of spousal hair plugs. I know, it's a beautiful thought.

OK, I have not had a set hair stylist person in a very long time. Probably since 2002. I'm not kidding. After that, I would go to random people who would not listen to me, screw up my hair & then I'd go home & fix it. It got so crazy how often this was happening, I was cutting my own hair for years. Seriously. I gave up on "the pros". And every time I'd give a new "pro" a chance...I'd have to fix it anyway.

My hubby, on the other hand, would go to several places to get his hair cut & would come home complaining about no one could get his sideburns right. Which is absolutely true. I would have to help him fix them sometimes. He finally found a place he really liked when we lived in St. Louis, but by the time he decided that was his place...we had to move. And, even though it's a franchise type place, there wasn't one in KC. Although we heard one would be opening, it was going to be quite a drive for him to get there.

Well, just a few months ago, I decided to give another human a try. I was losing my touch cutting my own hair. I went over to Beauty Brands not too far from our house & set up an appointment. I ended up with Megi. Megi is a doll who listened to what I was looking to get. She did a great job! So much so...I couldn't wait to use her again! I got a steady stylist again! And it only took 10 years! Then my hubby had finally had it with his bad sideburn haircuts, so we talked about him trying Megi. Well...that's who he's been going to, also. We just took the boys to her, too! The girl will be coming up soon to see Megi.

We have a family stylist! Woot! She is awesome & has a fabulous memory, too. I highly...HIGHLY recommend her!!

OK...now that I gave you MAJOR background...now onto the meat of my point:

The hubby & I were in desperate needs of getting our hairs cut. So, I set up an appointment with Megi for both of us to go in. It's the second time we did a couple's appointment. Aren't we cute? Well, I went first. And we talked about how much hair I truly have. Even if I go in for a trim, it looks like someone shaved a dog. I wish I was kidding. I'm not. But I got a great haircut from Megi...as always. Then it was hubby's turn. Megi hadn't swept the floor freeing it from my hair before she did hubby's. So, when he was done & happy with his haircut (cuz Megi did such an awesome job), we stood & looked at the ratio of my hair on the ground to his. But it hit us as we were looking at our shared chopped locks spread on the floor around the chair...our hair had been mixed & intertwined...just like mimicking our real life.

We just celebrated 16 years of married bliss a couple of weeks ago & will be taking part in a wedding very soon. So, along those lines, we likened our hair together on the ground to the recent rise of a sand ceremony in weddings. The bride & groom pour in 2 different colors of sand into a glass container representing their 2 lives coming together; and once the sand is poured in, the different sands would be impossible to separate.

Just like our hair on the ground together...intertwined. It would be very difficult to separate the 2 kinds of hair from the both of us as they came together. Just like our lives.

My hubby looked at me & wondered if I'd blog on it. I said I could. He said I blog on everything else...hehe...

Aren't we cute?

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is GOOD!!!

So anyway...

Today is a great day! My hubby & I have been married for 13 years strong!! Actually, the story of how we met is part of my testimony. You should ask me sometime!

What a busy day today, too. Church, of course, and we made sure to grab dinner (without the kids) & then a show ("Celebrate Life" musical from 1972 put on by the MUMC Chancel Choir). Wasn't that nice of the choir to celebrate our anniversary?

My gift FROM my hubby was, well, time: it started with 1 cute butterfly cuff watch, then since my hubby knows I like to accessorize, he brought out 5 more just like it...but in different colors. I was laughing hysterically! I loved them! Then he wanted me to have one more thing...a GORGEOUS Fossil watch that is brown & looks like a chocolate sunburst! I know - it sounds strange, but it is BEAUTIFUL!! So sweet!

Then, my turn to give my gift to him...

Let me first preface that it is a difficult thing to get my hubby ANYTHING. Either he already has it, doesn't want it, or (no matter how obsure it is) just plain figures it out. It so frustrating! This time, I had the most stellar gift! It is out of this world - just ask him!

I got my hubby an acre of land on the moon (seriously - the deed & all), had a star named for him, and gave him a small piece of moon rock! Needless to say (but I will anyway), I got him. He never figured it out & was enjoying studying the maps of where the plot of land was on the moon AND where to find the star in the sky. I am GOOD!

OH, after the concert...we are going to enjoy some yummy Starbuck's...without the kids!

I LOVE YOU, HONEY!! SHMILY!!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica