AM~Erica Can't Believe It

So anyway...

A major rush of emotions have been rushing over me lately. I'm a mess!

Today, I'm wearing butterflies. I'm wearing butterflies for several reasons. But hang on a moment while I grab a tissue or two so I can pull myself together to tell you why...


**********

OK. *breathe in, breathe out*

Today, my daughter actually graduated high school. Seriously.

I know, right? How is that even possible! I'm not old enough to have any kiddo that age. That's exactly my thought!

Any-hoo...

So, yeah. That happened today. And it has been quite the journey to get here!

See, she hasn't exactly been the most "studious" kiddo since she hit the 3rd grade. We have had issues with teachers that were nightmares & sweet blessings of teachers who were saints the rest of the way thru. We pulled, we prodded, we left it alone, we nagged, we encouraged, we punished, we stayed in contact with the teachers...it was quite the struggle to get her thru. I'm sure there were teachers who cringed hearing from us...or even cringed having to contact us.

*sigh*

The amount of work WE did to get her to scrape by was exhausting. It caused us a lot of anxiety. Because she is SO smart!!! That's why so many of us attached to the journey had been very frustrated with her! But you know what? She did it...just enough to get by. Every. Single. Time.

She also had problems getting participation points in classes. The girl who can sing & perform like no one else's business could not, and would not, do presentations in classes & would hardly speak up in class...because she didn't want to draw attention to herself, especially if she was wrong. But I got thinking about it, and it actually saddens me...

When we lived in StL, she was in middle school. We were there for her whole middle school life. Moving can be difficult on kids. Especially on someone who was such a leader & felt they could rule the world! To get in a situation where you need to make new friends can be very difficult. And the forming of trust issues can arise.

Teen Girl was in a situation in middle school with "friends" that was so traumatic, hurtful, heartbreaking & devastating...whew...it breaks my heart every time I think about it. A verbally abusive bullying situation was so intense, my daughter never wanted to go back to school. A girl so dominating that other "friends" wouldn't speak up against her. A ring leader that others would just do what she said without question...even if they knew it was wrong. Until the new kid, my daughter, stood up to her over a stupid Halloween costume. And things escalated quickly. Horribly.

In that time, the bully ring leader had a birthday party where she, along with her over-bearing mother, had a bracelet making party. My daughter chose to make her bracelet for me (probably because she knew she was in serious trouble with me before we left). It had my favorite colors & a butterfly charm. She made it about 6-years-ago, and I still wear it.

When she made that bracelet, it was a dark time for her. Both with school & with friends. She just wanted to go back "home"...not wanting to accept the fact that StL had to be our home at that time. Middle school is hard enough on an individual...but no one should EVER have to endure what she did!

So she has had trust issues with friends, classes & people in general. She no longer steps up & makes herself known & has been a great part of her own self doubt. This is all on top of her not wanting to do all the work anyway...
Imagine our struggle...

We were shocked when we went to parent/teacher conferences. We would hear, "She is very quiet in class." We would find ourselves retorting with, "No, no, no. Our daughter is [Teen Girl]." And then we'd get the weird looks.

In her struggles to even wanting to do the work, as well as finding & hanging on to decent friends, the journey to today has really been a struggle. She's been fighting this cocoon for a very long time.

So, today, I felt it was appropriate to wear butterflies. Not only was my deceased grandmother into butterflies as much as I am (reminder HERE), but it was a beautiful significance to graduation.

Today, I wore butterflies...including that bracelet. Such a symbolic accessory to show that she has fought hard & risen above a lot.

The bracelet she made for me several years ago

She began to get noticed for her amazing talents. She had people fighting for her & with her to get her to walk that stage.

Today, I wear butterflies. To make sure my grandmother was ever-present, as well as to remind my daughter how far she has actually come!

Today, she became a butterfly...we watched her wings spread as she focuses, now, to fly off to her next adventure. She is still looking at a couple of colleges (Remember that whole being afraid of being turned down & trust issue stuff?). But getting accepted, having amazing friends, getting to go on big adventures, and she has turned the heads of talented peers that she really had no idea she could hold her own with...ones she really looks up to!

Her very last day of free public education...ever!

We are so proud that we, as a village, have gotten this girl to the end of this stretch of the journey. It's time to turn the corner to a whole new path.

And I have handled this whole "I have an adult graduate as a kid" thing SO well...*ahem*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Just Wants to See Equality For All

So anyway...

Today, I gotta get on my soapbox. It's gonna cover a lot! So I need you all to brace yourselves. Some may agree, some may be truly offended, some will be shocked as to how I see a few things...but I'm gonna say it.

I always make it clear that I am no where near a blue or red koolaid drinker. Just because I don't agree with you certainly does not make me a koolaid drinker for "the other side". I don't like the fact that I always have to point that out, because there's a lot of folks who forget when I make a statement they don't agree with. However, I know a koolaid drinker when I see one/talk to one! I could start listing if need be, but that would be wrong.

But...I am going to take the post to talk the most current issue swirling at this very moment:

EQUALITY

Today is when the Supreme Court decides if California's Prop 8 was/is truly legal or not. It all sets on a decision of 9 people...well, probably more like 5 of 9 people...but whatever.

Here's my thinking:
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Why is it even a discussion?

I see love. I see people wanting commitment. I see people looking for their steady partner to be their beneficiary and emergency contact should anything happen to them.

For heterosexual couples, if your parents didn't want you to marry the one you wanted to be with...would you still get to marry them? Of course!

Well, same-sex couples are going thru the same thing right now. But it's not just confines of disapproving family...it's society! And all they want to do is be legally united. And there are LAWS in place to tell them not to! What if there were laws in place to tell you that you couldn't unite with your partner legally? Just think on it...

For any couple to be denied legal unification because of who they chose & felt they should be with is asinine!

OK...now things are gonna get weird here...but I'm going to throw this idea out there...to think on:

Generally & technically, a marriage is a religious union. In general, same-sex couples are not allowed to get married in churches but can, in some states & other countries, get to a justice of the peace to be recognized (but not universally) as a civil union...
Just because many main-line denominations do not uphold the sacred of marriage within a same-sex couple, there are still clergy who do not agree with that & would love to perform a ceremony for the union of such couple. So here's what I'm thinking, and stay with me.
What if any legal union presided over by the justice of the peace is considered a civil union, and any union presided over by clergy is a marriage? I'm talking REGARDLESS of who comprises the couple! You could still be called a wife or a husband...but your union would be classified differently.

That, my friends, is true equality! Well...on the marriage front.

I know there's my red koolaid drinkers who are having heart palpitations right now...and they talk about the plumbing of a human & how it was made for procreation...and you just want to put a stop to it!
First...who are you to cast a stone? I'm certainly not one! You are not the judge! God has final judgement...oh...and God loves ALL of His children...and we are to love whom God loves.
The righty-tightys want small government & really don't like the government behind their own doors...so why are you so concerned about any same-sex couple's living behind their own closed doors? You want the government, that you berate so much for being nosey, to take over their homestead?
Wow! How hypocritical of you! Especially when heterosexual marriages are breaking up at over a 50% rate! What does that say? Maybe it should be harder for anyone to get married...then the divorce rate might not be so high.

For all of those who are so worried "about the children"...the same-sex couples who want children will be, and tend to be, better parents. Many of us heterosexual couples who are fertile...tend to get surprises. Oh wait..."blessings".

(I heard a story where a mom told her 4 adult children as they sat there, "You were planned; you were blessed; you were planned; you were blessed." Yeah...that's what I'm saying...we have 4 blessings.)

There are several fertile folks who don't seem to quite get the notion they need to quit indulging in a particular activity since they seem to be so fertile that they can't keep up with their own offspring.

How many times have you heard about children being taken from parents who cannot take care of them...or because the parents have endangered their children in some situation? Well, there are loving people who can be foster parents, or adoptive parents...who love these kids! Why should anyone who cannot have children, and WANT children, be denied that when there's parents out there taking their own offspring for granted? Just think on it...

And for anyone who wants to throw in the card that every child NEEDS a mom AND dad need to keep in mind the single parent who must be both to their child(ren).

Oh, and by the way...a same-sex couple being together has no impact on a heterosexual one. Whether it's a couple 1000 miles away, across town, the next door neighbor, or within my family...it won't effect the marriage between my hubby & me.

Also...there is this thing that is separation of church & state. I am truly baffled by those who want scripture quoted when it comes to a government issue. However, if the government would want to start taxing your church, there would be a huge uproar touting separation of church & state. Just think on that...

Now that we've covered that & I have you thinking (or twitching) on that...there's more:

This EQUALITY thing needs to transcend just that of the gay rights being fought at the moment. 

~ There is still racism, and I'm talking within what is considered "minorities" than within caucasians

~ White males are now in danger of their own jobs & promotions, despite any hard work, due to over-striving of so-called "equality"

~ Hate crimes are more punished than any assault charges

OK...look...I'm gonna get right into it...

As long as we have divisive classifications when applying for a job, a school, a census...then we try so hard to make things "equal" that they actually aren't!

Promotions & hirings of positions should happen based on experience & qualifications, not if your male-to-female ratio is on target, or if you need to hire another black person to even out the latinos you have on staff...or on your campus. 

Pictures, race, marital status should generally never be part of an application process! EVER! Each person should be viewed as a person, and that's it!

Imagine how offended & shocked I was when this new Pope Francis took on the papal role, and it came out the US is now trying to redefine OUR view of "latinos" based on this Argentinean's new world role! I was so frustrated that we have to find or redefine our own, small-minded classifications because something new in the world has changed.

So, in the same sense...bullying (who we all should know I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT) happens to anyone! If Joe beats or belittles Jim, it's bullying/assault. If it Jim is of minority ethnicity and/or gay, the charge for Joe becomes a hate crime. If Jim is just the little nerdy guy who seems to be a weakling...it's assault. If the charge is "assault", it tends to be a slap on the wrist compared to turning it into a hate crime.

Bullying is bullying! Doesn't matter who it's to! And it shouldn't happen! EVER!! Thru words or actions. And the moment ANYONE is beat up because they are looked at as lesser than the attacker, it should all be treated the very same. That's equality!!

Now for my lefty-lous:

Taxes on rich or poor: if a flat tax is placed on all paychecks (ex: 10% Federal, 7% State, 3% Local) then it comes out the same. The rich will still have their money & the poor will still be struggling, but the poor will be giving much less than the rich...yet in equal amounts! EQUAL!!!!

For my fellow Christian friends & family...Jesus loved, associated with, and dined with the sinners. He only condemned the ones living hypocritically - the ones hiding behind their religious law. And the Pharisees were offended by Jesus' nature of doing so. Oh...and He loved ALL! He died for ALL! He did not die for all of us to become judges FOR God! So you can take all of your religious tones out of your condemnation of anyone who seeks to love! We are the ones to live like Jesus! When you are so offended by something that has nothing to do with you...you make the rest of us look really bad to those who make fun of Christians for these very reasons.

Still bullying, to all my non-Christian folk! The ones who still think it's OK for persecution thru words. 

Folks...today we await, in the United States, to find out if any kind of equality in & for our own melting pot's citizens will be overlooked or if it will be opened up. And I am prayerfully hoping that the equality goes just beyond wearing red & changing Twitter & Facebook pictures to equal signs. 

The '=' should stand for ALL! We are strongly urged to vote...but can't get our citizenship in line - between the money & time for these immigrants to want to be a part of our great nation, but we don't want them "stealing our benefits & jobs". *face palm*

So...just think on all of that. Are you really ready to throw a stone?

Peace, Love & Equality to ALL!!! And it's not a matter of "If", but "When"...nearly all of the young generation right now, despite their claimed political side...sees nothing wrong with the equality being fought for today. So why would we fight it?

Oh yeah...and I drink purple...just as a reminder...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is So Offended You're So Offended

So anyway...

As a mom, I have these things called "children" that whine all the time how things are "so unfair!!" Then whine about something that they get all offendy about because they didn't like how they felt about it...they act like whoever or whatever they were offended by came over & punched them in the face & stole their gift cards.

It's at this point when I tell them to stop & just throw themselves on the floor. Then I give them the option of throwing a tantrum on the floor, like a toddler trying to get attention, for a moment or two. They usually don't take me up on the offer & get mad that I even brought it up...and probably think it's unfair I even said it.

That is what society has turned into. Don't get me wrong...kids can do that...but we are in a culture that refuses to grow out of it! They are always feeling entitled...and the whole world is always against only them. I've seen it in children, teens, 20 somethings, 30 somethings, even up to 70 somethings. It's just so bratty! From politics, to handouts, to church, and on & on & on...and even to skits.

Yes! I said skits!

In the past week, I have heard more whining about different things that makes me roll my eyes. They are throwing tantrums over skits & totally taking things out of context...

This past week, a friend of mine brought something up to me to get my opinion on it. It had to do with some backlash from a group toward a skit that came from Nick Mom.

I found out that Nick Mom is programming from Nickelodeon for the moms of the Nick Jr. crowd. Brilliant! And they apparently do these mini skit vignettes in good satirical humor...like SNL for mommies!

A group of food allergy activists threw a fit over a skit where 2 moms who are putting together a bake sale for PTA are setting up crazy rules for the sale. All items must be clearly labeled...Clearly...LABLED CLEARLY! Then they were going to separate all of these items by food allergies in different areas. (i.e. - dairy free, nut free, gluten free, etc.) And it was over-the-top. And...guess what! It was funny!

There is this huge uproar about it. I think so much so that I can't even find the video now. I think Nick Mom took it down. I'm disappointed because I wanted you all to see what the hissy-fit throwing is about!

These groups are grumpy that it's making fun of kids with food allergies. It so isn't!!! People...it's throwing PTA moms & dads under the bus that work TOO hard to try make everyone happy. They go too far & that's the offensive part! It has nothing to do with food or food allergy sufferers themselves...it's about the over-the-top actions taken to try to make things more "open".

This whole thing has been taking on an effect like it did with "Married...With Children" & "The Simpsons". Parents tried to say these shows were so awful & offensive...that it actually drew more traffic to the fan-base of these shows. DUH!! So now people, like me, who were not aware of Nick Mom before...are now! And I have no shame in saying I have a wicked sense of humor...and I found it FUNNY! And it has a much different message than these groups & blogs are telling their followers what do believe it was about. It's a shame.

Grumpy, over-protective parents with absolutely no sense of humor!

In their cry of how Nick Mom is bullying their food allergic children...they stepped in & convinced their cronies to step up & be the bullies to Nick Mom. Way to teach a lesson there, kids!! *face palm*

It's, actually, very much the same as when ONE MILLION MOMS TRIED TO BULLY JC PENNEY ABOUT ELLEN DEGENERES. Don't get me wrong...JC Penney is not doing well, but it has to do with bad business decisions & absolutely nothing with choosing Ellen as their spokesperson...no matter what OMM tried to say. If you're offended by Ellen...you need to take a look at how you look at life!

Now then...with a slight shift, but still on the same track...we journey to thoughts on the Oscars & a skit. Now then, I've already said that I really enjoyed Seth MacFarlane as the host, but there is one thing that people can't seem to let go of to complain about: a portion of the opening.

Here's the whole issue: everyone seems to keep focusing on the song, "I Saw Your Boobs." The problem is...several outlets are only talking about that part. It's out of context!! The point was...he "didn't" perform the song. Remember? Captain James Tiberius Kirk came back in time to stop him from doing that song so he wouldn't be considered the worst Oscar host ever!

Captain Kirk talking to Seth about righting his hosting wrongs

Let's not forget, either, that there were actresses in on the joke! DUH! And that portion of the entire bit (there was SO much more, people) was considered one of the "most awkward" moment of the awards show. REALLY?? I thought it was uncomfortable & done so well as an artistic loophole! With Seth MacFarlane...it could've been so much worse!

Charlize Theron & Jennifer Lawrence in on the bit

He did feel bad for some of the jokes they were going ahead with on the teleprompter thru the show. Did you catch any of that? He was witty, edgy, and very talented...and gladly made jokes about himself! The only improvement would be for overall time management...but that wasn't all on him!

Jane Fonda's complaint about the song holds only slightly more merit in that some of the women he brought up had scenes that were rape scenes. I want to point out that it wasn't ALL of those scenes...and he actually left some out.

There are only four subjects that you had better never joke about in my presence...or ever:
SUICIDE IS NO JOKE, BULLYING WON'T BE TOLERATED, abuse isn't OK, and neither is rape.

When jokes come up about any of those, that's when I draw a line.

With that said...I enjoyed Seth as a host & hope he gets asked back. He could've been worse...I think he was very well behaved considering what his mind creates.

Oh...looks like Seth is shocked I'd love to see him host again...

If we cannot laugh at ourselves, or at life in general, then how are we ever gonna get thru it? We are a society who looks to be easily offended anymore! Why is that?

There are things that are offensive. Period. However, as a society, we are hyper-sensitive to everything! We can't say or do or stand up for anything anymore without someone wanting to sue someone else because their feelings got hurt. We are a frivolous culture!

I have brought up that I FOLLOW SOME MOMMY BLOGS. I also said they are very real, some are raw, but they find the humor in everyday parenting living. We all need that. We all need to know that we aren't the only ones feeling that way, or that have felt that way...but there are the ones who get offended that someone might have read their mind & put the dirty laundry of parenting out there...and then feelings get all hurt...and the whining starts.

These moms, no matter how harsh they sound sometimes, love their children. Some days are harder than others. That goes for all of us.

And if you can't laugh at this stuff & only look for things to be negative & grumpy about...well then, just throw yourself on the floor & throw your tantrum! If that's the kind of attention you really want....

Let me laugh at you & the thing you are whining about.

OK...now that I know about Nick Mom...I'm gonna laugh at some more so-true-it's-funny videos...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica
~~~~~~~~~~~
** Read my NickMom followup commentary post HERE

AM~Erica is Wearing Yellow

So anyway...

I made an observation not too long ago. It had to do with the color yellow in songs I've heard over the years. The color, itself, is usually bright & cheery with a lot of energy. Am I right? Yet the songs containing the color seem to be very chill & mellow. Generally, though, the songs & the color tend to be very memorable & leave you very happy.

That's why I think it's a good color to wear today & thru this week. See, today, September 10th,  is World Suicide Awareness Day...and the awareness continues thru this week. It has been raised since there have been so many more in the last few years. Most of the awareness has come from the bullying and NOH8 movements, which I also FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT, and it generally surrounds the LGBT community. But these movements truly transcend just that community. And the suicide rates have also jumped with the low economy including the loss of jobs & self confidence. There is so much more behind some of these people doing so. A black & dark cloud of evil just swallows you. It really does appear to be no way out. People with forms of depression & some mental illness fight this a lot. There's those who attempt suicide & fail...and...the ones who sadly succeed. That is one success I would hope we never truly want to achieve.

When I talked about Mother's Day, I shared a bit of my battle with depression, and COVERED IT A BIT MORE since then.

With this week being Suicide Awareness Week, I thought I'd kick off the week with another  confession about myself: I survived my own attempt. Only a tiny few know about this until right now. Shocked?

I went thru a rough time in high school. I was a horrible teenager. But I had dark things going on that even I didn't know about. Dates & years of the stuff that happened are gone from my head, but I remember them happening. One of those times was my suicide attempt.

Let me just say that I am a wuss. I'm not kidding. So, I didn't want to physically harm myself. So...I decided to overdose on whatever I could find. With one can of Coca Cola, I took a pill with every drink or two. It's a blur in my mind, but I remember asprin being part of the mix, I couldn't tell you the rest. I literally took at least one of everything I could find in the house. And I had enough medication to last me thru the whole can of Coke. I was hoping I could just lay down after that & let the messed-up-mixture take effect & just take me. Instead, I was vomiting for 2 days straight. I missed school because of it, but I didn't reach the ultimate goal I was truly striving for. I failed...luckily.

Looking where I'm at now, I realize there were things ahead of me that I had to finish. Like my husband & children. They never would have come about if I'd succeeded in such an awful action. My hubby may never have answered God's call to ministry if I had not been there to help him answer it. (Side Note: He's a darn good preacher, too! That's not just biased opinion either. Come check out his anointed messages sometime, especially if you haven't already.) And? There are many of you I would never have gotten to meet or know. It's amazing having each of you in my life, no matter how you made it here into my craziness.

Another part of the suicide prevention for the LGBT community is "It Gets Better." Well, again, that can be said across the board. It might seem like it won't...but it will. Keep going...there is a light. My life is crazy, it's trying, and it's GOOD!

It's always good to know there is a support system for you. And you have one. I'm glad I do since I still struggle with the thoughts sometimes. I know where I failed & I know how I would do it "next time"...I can visualize it & feel it when I'm so down. But my plan is that there won't be a "next time". As I am putting this out for all to read, I don't want to succeed in taking my own life. I have a lot to plan for & move forward with that includes family & friends.

Thus far, I have been totally quiet about my "past". Like I said, such a tiny few knew about my attempt...maybe 2 or 3 people. It's not something I just work into conversation. Even with a couple of other friends that I know who have tried to take their own lives...I talk them thru it without ever revealing the idea that I truly understand.

It's also a reason that I get heartbroken & frustrated with flippant "jokes" telling someone to kill themselves. It's crass. I'm sure that's the point...but there really are people who take that to heart. Suicide is one of the subjects I feel should never work its way into a joking & light-hearted manner. There is nothing light-hearted about the heaviness of the world on the shoulders of the one with those thoughts of taking their own life.

Today is World Suicide Awareness Day. You are asked to wear yellow &/or write "LOVE" on your wrist to raise awareness that we are all beautiful & that there is a light in every one of us. Since it is a whole awareness week, and if you missed it today...please participate at some point this week. You are now aware that you know someone who attempted...but did not succeed. Luckily. In this sense, it's good to be a failure.

Join me. Whether you view the color yellow as bright, electric & cheery, or if you see it as laid-back, easy-breezy & mellow...it's loved & memorable. So are you.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica on Bullying: Take 2

So anyway...

I am once again heartbroken to hear the level of bullying going on around, even when there has been a very recent uprising against it.

A note to those doing the bullying: You are being watched & you will be caught. It is not ok. Ever.

My middle schooler has been coming home with stories that there is constant bullying going on. It has happened to him, and to several others too. Apparently much of it has been going on under the faculty's noses & they haven't noticed. There is physical, verbal & mental bullying going on daily that never gets addressed.

Take a look at that last paragraph & replace the word "bullying" with the word "abuse". It's the same.

I have said that you should try to get to know the person first, no matter how "weird" or "strange" they seem to YOU. If you don't get along, go separate ways. There is no need to be abusive the person you don't see eye-to-eye with. And I am not just talking about kids at school...I am talking about life in general. It happens all of the time with adults, too. It's disgusting. If you are so rude to go out of your way to humiliate someone that you do not agree with for some reason, then that is abusive. We all are entitled to our own opinions. It doesn't make it right to belittle someone for not agreeing with you. It is not ok to try to humble someone weaker, or that you personally deem weaker, just for your own empowerment. And it all tends to begin at an earlier age that adults allowed to happen because of "kids being kids". The lesser party is being traumatized. The bully is allowed to believe what they are doing is ok. Neither is fine.

I remember being in 6th grade (still in elementary school) & hearing that a 7th grader, a kid I used to playfully chase on the playground in prior years, had committed suicide because of the level of bullying he had endured. Some of you may remember Paul Boucher & I remember my mom telling me what had happened. Looking back, he did seem to be an easy bullying target, but I never saw that when I chased him on the playground. It was hard for me to imagine what had happened. The truth is...it did happen. It happened because the level of bullying was very real & very escalated. Paul did not get the privilege to encounter the level of education we have about bullying now, nor the resources we have too. He was a victim of "well, it's kids being kids."

Everyone reading this needs to take a step back & take a look at what they do everyday. Is there anywhere in this that you have been a bully to a classmate, family member, co-worker, passerby, person on a street corner with a sign, that person who excels more than you, that person who doesn't quite excel as much as you, the fat one, the skinny one, the short one, the tall one, the smart one, the struggling one...where does it end? Why are we so jealous? Why are we so commanding? I am sure I have bullied someone in some way...and for that I truly apologize! I never had that idea in mind! EVER! But there are those of you who do try to do such things. You even bully the advocates of the ones standing up to those you abuse.

After one more day of these stories coming out, I have emailed the principal of the school to raise the issue with him. We will see where this goes...

Please be sure to read my previous post on this.

After reading it, you will see I have dealt with it with my own kids, and it is for pointless & sensless reasons.

Try the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would want them to treat you. And Rodney King was right! Why CAN'T we all get along? I know we are human...tender, over-sensitive beings...but get over it. If you can't say or do something nice...don't say it or do it at all!

I will not stay quiet on this. Just note that you may hear more about this from me.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica on Bullying

So anyway...

I would like to say that there has been a much needed, and long overdue, focus on bullying. Sadly it has taken the act of 6 gay young men committing suicide due to being bullied for it. It's a horrible thing that should NEVER happen to anyone! EVER!

We all get bullied at least once throughout our lives. It isn't right, but it happens. It's even more prevalent due to the fact that I am now a parent & have witnessed it with my own kids.

My daughter had an incident when she was in 7th grade. A girl she was "friends" with was actually a controlling ringleader. I had already expressed my disapproval of this girl, but my daughter seemed to have it under control. Then the Halloween mixer was coming. As we went costume shopping, my husband & I had found a really cute pirate costume that was within budget as a possibility for her. When time came around, she was ridiculed for being in because the ring leader was apparently coming as a pirate & had instructed the group of her toadies that no one had better come as a pirate since she was - a costume that is in the top 3 costumes every year AND it wasn't even the same pirate costume. Well, my daughter stood up to the ring leader & wore her pirate costume where the ringleader tried to ruin my daughter's costume & they had an exchange of words. All the way through the winter break, she was receiving silent treatment, horrible names & pranks & anonymous emails saying horrible things to her. The ring leader was making her marionette army "do" these things to my daughter...ones she thought were "friends". One of the parents caught on to what their daughter was doing & made their daughter apologize to my daughter. It took a very long time to mend relationships with some of the friends & they were proud of my daughter for standing up...but it was an awful bullying ride. Being the parent not able to do more was heartbreaking.

Right now, my son tends to have some runs at being bullied. He is 13 & it isn't setting well as it is, but he is also a very smart kid that is slightly oblivious to the world around him sometimes. He recently got braces & now he takes a lunch to school everyday so we know he is eating SOMETHING. I was horrified to learn that he was being bullied one day during lunch: a group of kids kept taking his lunch bag. He did not eat lunch that day. He did tell me that the guilty party was disciplined, but that he was not given any extra time to eat. I am glad the faculty did not just stand by & allow the situation to carry on, but am disappointed that they did not allow my son to eat. There have been other instances with him, and I hate it.

Bullying has been an epidemic for so many years, and there is no sense in it. It is even so strong in elementary schools.

We need to let our children know that there is no reason to make someone feel low or bad about themselves if they are smarter than us, not as smart as us, less attractive than us, prettier than us, less fortunate as us, have a greater fortune than us, skinnier than us, heavier than us, shorter than us, taller than us, if they are gay, if they are straight...we are all individual & have been made that way for a reason. If we all had a box of green crayons, then the pictures we color would get really boring after a while. A box of crayons has so many different colors to pick from to make our pictures more beautiful by adding the options & contrasts in an eloquent mix. We are all different. We need to rejoice in the fact that we are not all made exactly the same. If there is someone that is very different than you, get to know them. Yes, there are times where chemistry isn't there, but that doesn't give us the right to judge.

The Golden Rule is exactly how we need to live. We were not put on the earth to judge. That is not our jobs. If you do not get along with a person, separate. Leave the other person alone & let them get along with other people. You shouldn't ridicule them just because you don't get along. There is a difference.

There is a book that came out 10 years ago called "The Wounded Spirit" by Frank Peretti:

Amazon.com Review:
"This is not fiction. This is real." So reads the cover of The Wounded Spirit, the first nonfiction title from bestselling novelist Frank Peretti. In a departure from his usual spiritual thrillers, he's penned his personal journey through pain, disfigurement, and abuse, offering hope for those struggling with emotional wounds.

Peretti vividly chronicles how he became the object of negative attention in a gym class, after a horrific medical condition that he grappled with as a child caused his growth to slow. Winding throughout his personal story is a thoughtful look at how culture shapes our perception of the worth of individuals--and how events from Columbine to the movies reflect this.

Although Peretti has experienced healing, the depth of his wounds are still apparent, poignantly saturating each page. Yet he writes, "A wounded spirit need not be permanent. Throw off those chains of bitterness and resentment that have been constraining you for so long, and get on with your life." He also admits the damage he himself has inflicted, and apologizes, noting "it amazes me how a victim, who knows how it feels, can still be insensitive to the feelings of others."

Despite our wounds, Peretti reminds us, "We all have our difficult seasons--they do have a way of finding their place in the overall scheme of our lives, welcome or not." Adults and older children wrestling with painful emotional wounds will find solace and healing here, through the eyes of one who understands suffering. --Cindy Crosby

From Publishers Weekly
The man who has thrilled Christian readers with novels such as This Present Darkness and The Visitation here describes the childhood trauma that first introduced him to the dark side. Peretti was born with cystic hygroma, which at birth manifested itself as a small lump on his neck. In two months, the lump was baseball-size, and Peretti was enduring the first of seven early surgeries. During childhood, his tongue was so swollen that it lolled out of his mouth, preventing normal speech development. Classmates were repulsed by his tongue and by the bloody trickle constantly dribbling from his mouth. They tormented him about his grotesque appearance, small size and inability to form words normally. Peretti's response was to retreat to his room, where he wrote stories and played with monsters like toy Frankensteins and hunchbacks, who he felt were also misunderstood and abused. Peretti writes here that he survived this difficult period because of the unwavering love and acceptance of his family, and because he had deep faith in the equality of all people in Christ. He expresses grave concern about other "wounded spirits," particularly young people who may eventually snap after withstanding years of bullying by their peers. The book is full of painful stories, but also memorable moments of hope, as Peretti recounts instances when a peer or a teacher stood up for him. This remarkable memoir will inspire readers to undertake similar acts of courageous compassion. (Nov.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.


This book still rings through my mind as so many people are coming out about bullying. I have believed for 10 years that this book should be required reading in middle school &/or high school. REQUIRED READING!! He talks about the hurts & pains of being bullied for something he could not control. He talks about the horrific things that have happened & how he now views it as an adult.

I will step off of my soapbox for now, but I am an advocate of "NOH8". I believe it should be more widespread than just the bullying of the gay community, but to anyone who has ever had anything physical, mental, personality, or just a moment that is different or embarrassing.

Thank you & stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica
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