AM~Erica's Reluctant Confession

So anyway...

I didn't want to do this.

I really didn't.

Honestly, I thought I was fine. But it turns out I was only "fine."

I've kept a dark secret for many years. Even darker than my SUICIDE & DEPRESSION JOURNEY.

Something triggered memories. Hard & scary memories. I don't want to talk about it. At all. But, as it turns out, I need to talk about it.

I want to throw up right now. I want to ugly cry right now. Because I didn't want to do it; I didn't want to bring this part of me up. But here goes...

*BIG...DEEP...SLOW...BREATH...*

Here I am, another woman who has been sexually assaulted.

Yep. I said it.

OK, I'm going to open up about my story. There could be triggers for anyone who has been through this, is going through it, or has been through worse. Brace yourselves.

(Begin Trigger Warning)

**********

I had this guy friend in high school. I don't even remember how we met, really, but we just kind of clicked. And, for now, I'm going to call him "L."

L was someone I was really coming to care about. We talked every day, joked, shared stuff...
We were quickly becoming very good friends. And, as it happens with teenagers sometimes, I was developing quite a crush on him. But I didn't want to push anything since I didn't know if he felt the same way.

As our friendship grew, others were asking if we were "a thing." Others could certainly see a relationship building. But I would blow it off with a laugh, and so would L. But we never said we weren't - and, at the same time, we never said we were.

After a phone conversation one night, the question came up: What were we? And I think we decided we were "a thing!" I was pretty excited!

In the next day or two, when asked if we were a thing, L sort of denied it. We were...but we weren't. If Facebook was a thing back then, we probably would have been in a relationship labeled "It's Complicated." Ugh.

Even if we weren't a thing, we were still friends. I know, it's weird. I still cared for him, but we ultimately were "just friends."

We were "just friends" for a long time. Which was fine, actually.

I remember when he got a job where my mom taught. He was hired as an after school janitor, but that meant I got to talk to him a little more often. As friends.

One day, a mutual friend of ours had stopped by the school & we were sitting on a main staircase chatting. All of a sudden, L decided to roll on top of me! I quickly pushed him off in shock & confusion. Our mutual friend just sat there in shock, and said, "Uh...O...K?"
Really, I thought it was just me - like I had imagined it. But I didn't.
We never brought it back up, and I just took it as he was joking around. And we continued on as "just friends."

Some time after that, while we were at my mom's school (where he was working), L caught my attention & said he wanted to show me something. I didn't even think twice about it, and just followed him. I followed my friend...

L took me into the library. The librarian had already gone home for the day, so the lights were out. My guess was that he was going to show me some ridiculous book he found while cleaning in there. He took me to the back of the library...instead of showing me some ridiculous book, I found myself on my back, on the floor.

I realized he was on top of me, his hands held down my wrists, his legs trapped my legs...and he began to push his body down onto mine.

I panicked! What was happening? Who was this?

For a moment that seemed to last way too long, I wriggled a leg loose & kneed him in the groin! L collapsed into fetal position which freed me from his grip. And I ran.

I ran back to my mom's classroom to wait for her to be done so we could leave that place. And I said nothing.

Why? Why would I not tell what horrific thing my "friend" just did to me?
I had to weigh what I thought might be worse: silence or not being believed.

Since L had been a friend for so long, I really thought I wouldn't be believed. I couldn't handle that thought. I couldn't handle someone making his actions OK or telling me I provoked it somehow, so I stayed silent.

Not sure if anyone noticed I cut off any ties I had to him, but I did. I couldn't look at him, and I didn't want him in my presence. I was shaken, I was upset, I was hurt.

No, L didn't rape me, but he sure tried to. I believe he wanted to use our "complicated relationship" as an out to think I would just give in to him.

He got the surprise of a knee to the groin & loss of a friendship all in hopes he could take advantage of me.

Here we are, many years later, and I'm still affected by it. I was violated, and I was ashamed that it happened to me. I replayed it in my head many times wondering what I did to allow it to happen. Did I provoke it?

The answer is no. I didn't. I was a friend. L took advantage of my trust in him & tried to use it for his own pleasure.

**********

(End Trigger Warning)

I try very hard to not bring up presidential candidate names. But I'm going to have to break my rule a bit.

Even though it was over a decade ago (wait...2005 was over a decade? I thought 10 years ago was the 90's!), Donald Trump was actively describing sexual assault as OK. He made it sound like he could use his power of stardom to gain trust from any woman he approached, then he could just purchase her, like a thing, with furniture, kissing, or grabbing...and acting like it's OK.

Though the stuff that came out in that audio was beyond disgusting, he has made women & people of color as things through his campaigning. And people, even women, have acted like this is OK.

Honestly, anyone who has been through a sexual assault or rape have been triggered horribly. This isn't something we can just look past & act like a lack-a-daisy apology makes it OK. Women were deeply affected by his actions.

As to those who want to raise this as a banner for him to step down, don't forget he brought up Bill Clinton. It doesn't make his actions any less, but he has a point. But hear me out...

Bill used his charisma to do much of the same thing to women. And he was PRAISED for it! Even by women! What's worse? His wife used each of these, on top of shaming of these women, to keep latched upon his charismatic coattail to get her to this point.

No, it's not the only thing that is surrounding these presidential candidates, but they have both used sexual assault as a power trip to get into where they are now.

That's right - both Donald AND Hillary are in this place by using power, that includes sexual assault of women, to get to this place, right now.

How's that koolaid taste? It's got a Koolaid Power: Sexual-Assault flavor. And it comes in Red AND Blue flavors!

I pray for these candidates. It's what Christ has told us to do. But I cannot stand on a platform that has the sexual assault of women as part of the podium...and certainly not back in the White House.

I prefer to shun all of it...
...much like L. I have shunned him. I've blocked him & want nothing to do with him. I do know he's asked about me. I know we still have mutual contacts. His name comes up in conversation from time-to-time...and I still feel sick in the pit of stomach & a chill go down my spine when his name comes up. I can't get around it. Yes, this means some of you reading this know him. You probably interact with him often, too.
But I can do my best to keep him away from affecting my life.

We should probably think about that very thing with these candidates. Keep them out of affecting our lives.

This is what I ask of you as a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend who has experienced sexual assault & was triggered.

Triggered enough to step out of my comfort zone & lay it out here for you see. Not for sympathy, but to see this entire debacle from a survivor's point of view. And it's dark.

I probably don't want to speak with my voice about this, but felt this needed to be shared. I didn't want to share. But we are at a point where it can't be silenced any longer.

OK...I'm going to go cry, maybe throw up, and maybe need another shower.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is Rectifying a Grave Feminist Mistake

So anyway...

I honestly don't remember what made me think about this lately, but I began to re-research women's suffrage.

In my inadvertent quest to have outfitting for nearly every decade (apparently), I had not really looked into much of the 1910's. I was looking into the style & the events of the time. And I was super pulled into the women's suffrage movement.

Right now, I want to let you know that I do not live my life with politics in the forefront. Probably because so many folks have taken it to such extremes, it's been a turnoff for years. Just the ugly mudslinging of "human rights" folks & "Christian" folks. (Yes...I put those in quotation marks - neither "side" is acting like what they supposedly represent.) I'm also a realist; an optimistic realist, yet still a realist. I can see where there are positives of the ideals of both "sides", as well as the downfalls of the ideals of both "sides". Having it go all one way will never work for good.

I am so against the koolaid drinkers. They just absorb whatever they are told & just become parrots of what is put in front of them without larger research on their part. And that's an insult to parrots!

Don't forget, I'm all about this coming together thing, wanting both sides to meet in the center aisle, pour the red & blue koolaid into a great big vat & make a lovely purple color.

Purple politics is what I go by. And...I don't rub it in people's faces.

Sorry...got off on a bit of a tangent. I digress...

*ahem*

I'm going to make a confession right now. I need you to stick it out with me. OK?

As many of you know, I am a PASTOR'S WIFE. In United Methodism, the pastors are on an itinerant system & are appointed. Technically the appointment lasts year-to-year, but generally will be at least 3 years or so (can be longer - we're in our 6th year at our current church). Keep this in mind when I say that the pastors & their families tend to get moved fairly often, and generally to new communities, even in different parts of the state.

I'm incredibly right-brained (which should surprise no one), and I'm easily distracted by squirrels &/or shiny things. Plus, I'm a major procrastinator. So I forget to do major things sometimes because my brain wheels are turning & creating things in my head...I...well...just forget.

When I was 18, I registered to vote because I could. And I voted for a while, trying very hard to know what I was voting on. Like seriously considering.
Then my hubby answered a call to ministry & we began our journey into him being appointed to churches in the Missouri United Methodist itinerant system. When we started heading to new communities, registering to vote would slip my mind until it was literally time to vote. That wasn't enough time. I would get really frustrated with myself, vow to change that the next day, then my right brain would kick in...*sigh*

However, I realized this as I was looking back into women's suffrage.
I realized what these women went thru to get the right to vote. People! They were beaten, arrested, fined, spat upon, insulted. They went thru so much just to get a voice.

These wonderfully rebellious women who stood their ground, and spoke up, was a tremendous act to be able to fully claim their rights of citizenship! This is not well covered in schools or in conversation. I took for granted what fight was fought for me to have this right to use. And I'm embarrassed to say that...but I am. Because I'm human.

I won't be one of those people who will shame you if you don't vote...but you don't have the right to complain if you don't use your voice. I would complain about the complainers who use their 1st amendment right for major disrespect & personal attacks...but I also was careful to not complain where I didn't use my voice.

Today, as it turns out, is Women's Equality Day! We were given the right to VOTE on August 26, 1920! No wonder the flappers felt so liberated!

A greeting I got from Facebook for Women's Equality Day!

This is something amazing to celebrate! We are finally getting to a place where women are more respected. It's only taken 95 years or so.

And we've come a long way, baby. We are moms, business owners, CEO's, senators, part of congress, pastors, artists, speakers, respected journalists & writers, idealists, welders, mechanics, technicians, engineers, gamers, code writers, bakers, soldiers/sailors, pilots, doctors, nurses, presidents of boards, serving on boards...we are in so many positions of respect & authority these days. And? We can vote!

As I had to reread what we went thru to get to this point, my woman's heart swelled with pride. We are people. We are all people. We should all be treated as people.

And...if you are a citizen, I highly recommend getting registered to share your voice with your voting rights. Many fought way too hard for those of us, in the present, to not be doing so.

Although I didn't realize today was Women's Equality Day, until today, I felt the push to go ahead & finally get registered again. And I did it yesterday. Strangely, in that moment, I felt liberated!

I am an American citizen, and I am going to use my voting powers for good!

No, this doesn't mean I'm going to rub my thought process of politics in your faces as much as many of you do in mine...but I will continue to keep it real. I want to challenge many of you to think, to research, to actually look into the "other side" of your views. And then, know it's about the greater good of the people...not just you.

I am a woman, I am an American, and I am once again a voter. Hear me roar!!!

So this is a perfect day to encourage any of you who haven't yet to step up & register, too!

*UPDATE: My daughter registered to vote today! WOOT! Preparing to use her voice being an American citizen! Way to celebrate 95 years of women voting!

Oh! And?

HAPPY WOMEN'S EQUALITY DAY!!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Will Drink Tea in Protest

So anyway...

In the U.S., today is THAT day. It's April 15th, y'all. You know...Tax Day. (in case you forgot)

So...it's my assumption that most folks who are getting some of their moolah back from the government have already filed their taxes way before today. Amm-i-rite?

It's also my assumption that those who owe to the government at this point may have waited to today to finish up &/or file their taxes. Amm-i-rite?

Today is the tax deadline. It's a day of stress. I've also heard that April 16th is also known as "Stress Awareness Day." Go figure.

Last year, I TALKED ABOUT TAX DAY. I brought up the ridiculousness we have to deal with to get taxes done. Even worse? H&R Block has had commercials priding themselves in taking on the most difficult tax situations & how they've read the 9000-some pages of tax codes. That's what you call complicated, people! I mean...really.

In a world where we are trying to simplify things again, the government & IRS are trying way too hard to have job security. Trying so hard, in my opinion, that it has made itself quite corrupt. When the IRS seems to follow its own rules & throws a lot of law out the window...that tells you something.

The IRS does hire a lot of people, don't get me wrong. But...BUT...have you seen or ever really dealt with the masses who are dealing with your money & information? It's frightening. I'm terrified by the lowered standards that the IRS makes OK to hire. I wish I were kidding.

Also...the IRS spends a lot of our tax dollars to send out bogus letters. Did you know that? Auto generated letters & notices that are pulled from old information or nothing at all. Not only is it  bad on the economy...it's bad on the environment as they continue to kill trees as we approach EARTH DAY COMING. *face palm*

Now, politically, I am in between the crazy. I'm not red...I'm not blue; I am in the purple area. So, as I lay this out, don't accuse me of being a koolaid guzzler....especially by any of you koolaid guzzlers (and I know who you are). I have talked about, and will continue to, making the tax system simpler. I'm talking flat-taxes, people. Think about it: (for example) 10% to federal out of every check; 7% to state out of every check; 3% to local out of every check. Just to keep it even in the example. Again, the rich will still be paying more than the poor, but the ratio would be the very same. This amount would automatically be pulled out of unemployment & welfare, too. It's much along the same lines that Herm Cain brought up in his short try for the presidency: the 9-9-9 taxing. Duh! Could be just that simple...

This gets rid of ridiculous tax codes, it makes things much simpler, no stress over the forms, better for the environment, better for overall stress...
Get the idea?

And if you are using the government as your yearly savings plan...think about how that sounds for a moment. Maybe you should open a CD to get interest on your savings, or put it in a savings account. Trust me...it might actually be better than trying to appear to be a better citizen by "paying more taxes" that you might get back after filling out 5 billion forms...probably more than once. Amm-i-rite?

In the meantime, we continue to protest in our own ways...cuz we still gotta pay taxes. So, have a tea party to protest. Again...not talking about the new republican-based party. They started with this premise...less taxes/lower taxes. However, it's produced some of the most radical characters yet. Yes...characters. But I'm talking the old-school Boston Tea Party concept. If you remember, I BROUGHT UP SUGGESTIONS BEFORE.

So, I think I'll wear a hat, drink some tea, and take in some of the freebies & discounts being offered today. Of course...after I have finished consuming my coffee...

How about you?

*PINKIES RAISED*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

**********

UPDATE: The above post was from this morning. This afternoon, the horrific story & images have come out of Boston at the historic marathon finish line. Explosions going off down the street near the finish line is unreal & awful! And possibly a couple more found that did not go off? I would hope this is not a protest for Tax Day. It is ugly & uncalled for.

Pray for these people! Many had this on their bucket list & may not have gotten to finish. Many come from all over the world to run in this particular marathon. Those who did finish & was such a great feat now have had it turned upside down.

As of this update, 2 confirmed dead & 23 wounded. So sad. I'm in shock.

AM~Erica Just Wants to See Equality For All

So anyway...

Today, I gotta get on my soapbox. It's gonna cover a lot! So I need you all to brace yourselves. Some may agree, some may be truly offended, some will be shocked as to how I see a few things...but I'm gonna say it.

I always make it clear that I am no where near a blue or red koolaid drinker. Just because I don't agree with you certainly does not make me a koolaid drinker for "the other side". I don't like the fact that I always have to point that out, because there's a lot of folks who forget when I make a statement they don't agree with. However, I know a koolaid drinker when I see one/talk to one! I could start listing if need be, but that would be wrong.

But...I am going to take the post to talk the most current issue swirling at this very moment:

EQUALITY

Today is when the Supreme Court decides if California's Prop 8 was/is truly legal or not. It all sets on a decision of 9 people...well, probably more like 5 of 9 people...but whatever.

Here's my thinking:
WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Why is it even a discussion?

I see love. I see people wanting commitment. I see people looking for their steady partner to be their beneficiary and emergency contact should anything happen to them.

For heterosexual couples, if your parents didn't want you to marry the one you wanted to be with...would you still get to marry them? Of course!

Well, same-sex couples are going thru the same thing right now. But it's not just confines of disapproving family...it's society! And all they want to do is be legally united. And there are LAWS in place to tell them not to! What if there were laws in place to tell you that you couldn't unite with your partner legally? Just think on it...

For any couple to be denied legal unification because of who they chose & felt they should be with is asinine!

OK...now things are gonna get weird here...but I'm going to throw this idea out there...to think on:

Generally & technically, a marriage is a religious union. In general, same-sex couples are not allowed to get married in churches but can, in some states & other countries, get to a justice of the peace to be recognized (but not universally) as a civil union...
Just because many main-line denominations do not uphold the sacred of marriage within a same-sex couple, there are still clergy who do not agree with that & would love to perform a ceremony for the union of such couple. So here's what I'm thinking, and stay with me.
What if any legal union presided over by the justice of the peace is considered a civil union, and any union presided over by clergy is a marriage? I'm talking REGARDLESS of who comprises the couple! You could still be called a wife or a husband...but your union would be classified differently.

That, my friends, is true equality! Well...on the marriage front.

I know there's my red koolaid drinkers who are having heart palpitations right now...and they talk about the plumbing of a human & how it was made for procreation...and you just want to put a stop to it!
First...who are you to cast a stone? I'm certainly not one! You are not the judge! God has final judgement...oh...and God loves ALL of His children...and we are to love whom God loves.
The righty-tightys want small government & really don't like the government behind their own doors...so why are you so concerned about any same-sex couple's living behind their own closed doors? You want the government, that you berate so much for being nosey, to take over their homestead?
Wow! How hypocritical of you! Especially when heterosexual marriages are breaking up at over a 50% rate! What does that say? Maybe it should be harder for anyone to get married...then the divorce rate might not be so high.

For all of those who are so worried "about the children"...the same-sex couples who want children will be, and tend to be, better parents. Many of us heterosexual couples who are fertile...tend to get surprises. Oh wait..."blessings".

(I heard a story where a mom told her 4 adult children as they sat there, "You were planned; you were blessed; you were planned; you were blessed." Yeah...that's what I'm saying...we have 4 blessings.)

There are several fertile folks who don't seem to quite get the notion they need to quit indulging in a particular activity since they seem to be so fertile that they can't keep up with their own offspring.

How many times have you heard about children being taken from parents who cannot take care of them...or because the parents have endangered their children in some situation? Well, there are loving people who can be foster parents, or adoptive parents...who love these kids! Why should anyone who cannot have children, and WANT children, be denied that when there's parents out there taking their own offspring for granted? Just think on it...

And for anyone who wants to throw in the card that every child NEEDS a mom AND dad need to keep in mind the single parent who must be both to their child(ren).

Oh, and by the way...a same-sex couple being together has no impact on a heterosexual one. Whether it's a couple 1000 miles away, across town, the next door neighbor, or within my family...it won't effect the marriage between my hubby & me.

Also...there is this thing that is separation of church & state. I am truly baffled by those who want scripture quoted when it comes to a government issue. However, if the government would want to start taxing your church, there would be a huge uproar touting separation of church & state. Just think on that...

Now that we've covered that & I have you thinking (or twitching) on that...there's more:

This EQUALITY thing needs to transcend just that of the gay rights being fought at the moment. 

~ There is still racism, and I'm talking within what is considered "minorities" than within caucasians

~ White males are now in danger of their own jobs & promotions, despite any hard work, due to over-striving of so-called "equality"

~ Hate crimes are more punished than any assault charges

OK...look...I'm gonna get right into it...

As long as we have divisive classifications when applying for a job, a school, a census...then we try so hard to make things "equal" that they actually aren't!

Promotions & hirings of positions should happen based on experience & qualifications, not if your male-to-female ratio is on target, or if you need to hire another black person to even out the latinos you have on staff...or on your campus. 

Pictures, race, marital status should generally never be part of an application process! EVER! Each person should be viewed as a person, and that's it!

Imagine how offended & shocked I was when this new Pope Francis took on the papal role, and it came out the US is now trying to redefine OUR view of "latinos" based on this Argentinean's new world role! I was so frustrated that we have to find or redefine our own, small-minded classifications because something new in the world has changed.

So, in the same sense...bullying (who we all should know I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT) happens to anyone! If Joe beats or belittles Jim, it's bullying/assault. If it Jim is of minority ethnicity and/or gay, the charge for Joe becomes a hate crime. If Jim is just the little nerdy guy who seems to be a weakling...it's assault. If the charge is "assault", it tends to be a slap on the wrist compared to turning it into a hate crime.

Bullying is bullying! Doesn't matter who it's to! And it shouldn't happen! EVER!! Thru words or actions. And the moment ANYONE is beat up because they are looked at as lesser than the attacker, it should all be treated the very same. That's equality!!

Now for my lefty-lous:

Taxes on rich or poor: if a flat tax is placed on all paychecks (ex: 10% Federal, 7% State, 3% Local) then it comes out the same. The rich will still have their money & the poor will still be struggling, but the poor will be giving much less than the rich...yet in equal amounts! EQUAL!!!!

For my fellow Christian friends & family...Jesus loved, associated with, and dined with the sinners. He only condemned the ones living hypocritically - the ones hiding behind their religious law. And the Pharisees were offended by Jesus' nature of doing so. Oh...and He loved ALL! He died for ALL! He did not die for all of us to become judges FOR God! So you can take all of your religious tones out of your condemnation of anyone who seeks to love! We are the ones to live like Jesus! When you are so offended by something that has nothing to do with you...you make the rest of us look really bad to those who make fun of Christians for these very reasons.

Still bullying, to all my non-Christian folk! The ones who still think it's OK for persecution thru words. 

Folks...today we await, in the United States, to find out if any kind of equality in & for our own melting pot's citizens will be overlooked or if it will be opened up. And I am prayerfully hoping that the equality goes just beyond wearing red & changing Twitter & Facebook pictures to equal signs. 

The '=' should stand for ALL! We are strongly urged to vote...but can't get our citizenship in line - between the money & time for these immigrants to want to be a part of our great nation, but we don't want them "stealing our benefits & jobs". *face palm*

So...just think on all of that. Are you really ready to throw a stone?

Peace, Love & Equality to ALL!!! And it's not a matter of "If", but "When"...nearly all of the young generation right now, despite their claimed political side...sees nothing wrong with the equality being fought for today. So why would we fight it?

Oh yeah...and I drink purple...just as a reminder...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

Why AM~Erica is Not Fond of Games

So anyway...

We've made it to a new year. Everyone is talking about what they are going to change (again), or try to start doing (again), and many of the same blah-blah resolutions they have made for years, and never seem to keep, but seem to keep making them goals for themselves. I hope this is the year you keep your resolutions this time, people!

 "Second verse: same as the first..."

Oh yuck. I've started this year with a cynical tone. But I've witnessed & experienced an issue that has leaked into the new year from the old from many (and it's fresher with some & ongoing with others) that is ugly. It's the ugly tone that was set thru last year that has left a taste in people's mouths that is disgusting, but we seem to keep going back to it as a whole.

When the elections kicked up, it brought out quite a sense of this ugliness that many are not willing to shake. Some already possessed this & use it to this day. Some found social media to continue their ways in this manner, or found this annoyance as a new sense of being. I see it happen with friends, family, coworkers, fellow church goers, with clients, on Facebook, on Twitter, in the media, in politics...

Any guesses as to what I might be talking about?
If you guessed "MANIPULATION," then you would be correct!
*DING-DING*

My family gets really frustrated because I'm not a fan of game night. I refuse to play any of them online, too. But I think I'm am so burnt out of daily manipulative game-play of hearts & minds...that I am sick of it. I don't play those games. And I'm even more tired of watching those who allow the games to go on & get sucked into them. Some of them...for years.

That's right! This Homey WON'T play dat!

Do you know what's even more sad? They don't want to be told they are playing these games or have been sucked into these games. Do you know what happens? I am one that gets looked down upon because I refuse to play. And since I don't play these games...anything I do or say around these situations gets tossed to the side. I've even been criticized for not being a pawn. That's not how it's worded...because these individuals don't realize they are being used as pawns, themselves. How dare me not be a chess piece in someone else's strategy to "win" at life in such manipulative ways.

Social media manipulation at its finest

And there's something worse. It's when the manipulators are being manipulated by someone else playing their own manipulative games. Or...the ones who are sucked into being pawns into more than one of these games.

I have played these games & have been played in someone else's games in the past. I don't like it one bit. Either side of it. It's awful & don't understand how people can live with themselves trying to crush people to make themselves feel better.

Sadly, it's when I stand up to these people (and I do & I will when need be) that it gets taken that I'm trying to crush them. I don't play those games. It's one thing to tell people like it is & another to crush someone on purpose. If what I say is scathing...it comes from truth. I don't just make up things to make anyone feel bad.

Trust me...I've gotten enough criticism about me. I know & realize when I'm wrong. Sometimes it takes a while to sink in, but I know. I can also take on good debates about things...if it's warranted. There's a time & a place for all of this stuff, my friends...and family. And I have witnessed & experienced stuff lately that leaves me scratching my head.

Many of these people who are the manipulators have deep issues of their own. Either they don't want to face them or are too afraid to. This past year, I made the effort to be very open about some very serious issues of mine. So you know where I'm coming from when I'm not seeming quite right, or if I snap at someone, or if I don't seem like myself.

This is one of the heavy-hearted posts. Because several have chosen to ring in the new year with such high levels of fake manipulation to make themselves feel better...it's actually pathetic. And...the people who let it continue to happen like nothing is wrong with the picture.

I am, generally, a very positive person. But I do try to see a whole picture of things, too. There are such one-sided, close-minded power trips going on...and the people out there rooting them & each other on in this ridiculousness.

I see it happen for "love", "money", "power", "acceptance", etc. And all of these things are in quotations because you cannot obtain any of these with manipulation...or if you think you do, you cannot sustain it.

One of my favorites is when the manipulators say they are the calm ones &/or they have seen the big picture...like they have it all figured out. I have found that these manipulators have lack of loyalty, lack of "common" sense (which really isn't common anymore), lack of actual positive attitude, and a lack of love.

I'm looking for my cape as we speak...

My blog has allowed me to open up & be straight forward about a lot of things. I thank all of you delightfully crazy people who have come along for the ride. And anyone who doesn't read my blog doesn't know much about me. That includes any family or friends or otherwise who try to start their manipulative ways with me. I cannot force them to read it, but it contains a lot of stuff about where I come from.

See the blog list over on the right? Those are my ongoing top 10 most popular blog posts. I don't control that. And, 8 of those 10 are SOAPBOXY ONES. And 8 of the 10 shown (and not necessarily the same ones) are from this past year. (the 8 of 10 stats are as of the time of this posting...it may be different in a month or so...or not) There's apparently a lot of people who care to read where I come from. I also find it interesting that most of these are ones that people don't know how to take. No comments, no feedback...nothing. But they are read. A lot. And it seems not from people who need to read them before approaching particular subjects.

I'm not going to lie to you...there will be a couple of traumatic things that have happened to me in my lifetime that may never make this blog. Those are too deep, too awful, and way too personal to even put out there. Even for me. However...I will bring them up in confidential conversation if 1.) I trust you, and B.) the conversation warrants the subject matter. But I have opened up about many other things. And there are those who have confidentially shared with me their stories, too. Those who needed to say something to someone without being called out. And do you know what? All of these people who connected with me on these subjects are people I have not talked to in years. Many of my own family & close friends (except maybe one or two) won't even acknowledge it. It's either they don't want to read what I have to say, which is fine, or they like their blinders on & want to pretend it's not true.

Because I have opened up quite a bit & am willing to stand up for myself & for my beliefs...be ready for me to either have good debate with you (if it's a warranted time & place), or be ready for me to tell you that you are off base or being over-the-top.

I hate politics. I really do. I don't like politicians either. But if I'm passionate about something going on...I do think we should be able to contact our law makers. I will also give credit where credit is due...even if it's painful for me to say it. Another thing I did last year was put many of my political views out there. Again...those close to me that disagree with me just ignored it...or they made a bizarre point to NOT acknowledge it. Weird. I know I'm in line with many who feel they need to keep their mouths shut because of the far rights & far lefts (or those who aide them) want to just shout really loud & throw a lot of stones because you don't drink their brand of KOOLAID. And, in me putting out there my true views as being absolute moderate, I have actually been accused (yes, accused) of being biased. *face palm*

I know of many who could learn from this. Especially that "when to stop thing..."

People, we the people, put these manipulative, power-hungry lawmakers into office...and then throw a fit when it didn't go "our way". And then blame anyone & everyone else who doesn't see it "our way".

This is a modern day game of thrones, people. And so many are so sucked into it.

Yes...this...with the sword jabbed right in the center

Much like buying someone a toilet for someone because they wanted it, then also bringing your own toilet paper to use it first...then wonder why they didn't put a toilet cover on it yet.

Yep...I went there with the "throne" analogy. I think you can figure out why, too. And that's one of the main ways manipulators use, or attempt to use, those around them. It's either that or they raise a raucous to make a point that isn't going their way...and then run to their own throne, close & lock the door...and then pretend that anyone else who needs to use the "throne room" isn't a priority anymore because they need to sit & think about whether they need to use the throne or not.

There is also the manipulator that I call "the ruiner." You know the one that always must have their nose in every piece of your business, the pawn trusts them & tells them...then they give away the information because they have to be the ones to tell it, the ones on top, the ones to beat you to the punch? Whether it's news or a gift...before you can do anything, they've jumped all over the information that they really had nothing to do with in the first place? Yeah...like walking into the throne room while you're in there, wants to know why you're in there...and then they tag along to the doctor & they tell the doctor what's going on with you before you can. Yeah..."the ruiner."

Now the question becomes whether or not any of this hits home with you. Does it? Are you offended? If so...are you the manipulator or (well, maybe "and") the enabler pawn in the game?

I guess this post boils down to this: what are we gonna make of this new year? Another one of tried-and-failed health habits? Another of tried-and-failed money habits? Or do we want to actually break free from this game-playing madness? If you are an enabler being used as pawns in these games, I urge you to take off your blinders & stand up for yourselves. Tough love is not a bad thing...tearing down someone is. And, by being used as a pawn is another way of being bullied. Yes, you.

Break free, think for yourselves. It's more liberating & there's less game-playing & tip-toeing & tongue-biting going on. Trust me...we will all feel better once the game of thrones in actual reality (not the scripted tv stuff) is over & done. And you might want to take notes from those not willing to play these games. Break free from blaming others & start working on yourself. The greed & false sense of pride need to make their way out the door! And it's up to you to shake any of the dysfunction...and not let  that & the drama run you & how you think you should "run" others...rise above it!

If you've ever watched the Mel Gibson & Helen Hunt flick, "What Women Want", there is eventually an athletic shoe slogan given:

"No games, just sports."

No more games, people...just life.

I am wishing everyone a better, blessed & more free New Year. Thank you for hanging with me. It's good to let things go & make it known.

*deep breath in, deep breath out*

...moving on to more positive...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Trying to Give Direction to Solution

So anyway...

The TRAGEDY IN CONNECTICUT is still fresh in our minds, as well as the shootings in Topeka. And it seems there's no slowing down the jumping to a solution of sorts to slow or stop all of this.

I was going to wait to give my take on all of this & really open up my thoughts & where I'm coming from, but it appears the time is now.

So...*deep breath in, deep breath out* here we go:

Off we go on more POLITICAL TANGENTS, even with the elections being over. It hasn't slowed up. It's frustrating. And, as usual, both "sides" are sounding as insane as ever.

With the fiscal cliff looming (Solution: FLAT TAXES by percentage of what you make. Too easy? Whatever, just do it & get over it.), there are still people mudslinging from all directions.

Here's the dealio, y'all...the focus on gun control is not the answer...solely. Like it or not, there needs to be a major tightening. And even if you don't like to hear it, mental health issues need to be on the background checks for gun purchases, at least a reference from a doctor/phycologist/counselor, and a number of guns cap needs to be set. It's not a matter of taking them away, there is an issue of "control". Yet many just want to carry around pistol...or automatic weapons, like we are back in the old west. You know, settle an argument at high noon with a dual because you felt threatened. If you are not part of law enforcement or in the military...there is absolutely NO reason for a civilian to carry a gun unless it's in the woods because you are hunting for food...NOT GAME! The conceal & carry is a sham, in my opinion. I didn't say take them away. There's those who want to have them at home to defend their household & property from trespassers, but just note that you can still be shot, wounded, deablilitateyd, or killed by the trespasser who may have a gun. Your own gun would have done you no good. Will it keep the guns out of the hands of the "bad guys"? No. But keeping an actual registration of guns in the possession of persons will be a major start. You don't have to agree with me...but there is actual common sense here.

The biggest problem is the insurance & healthcare thing. Obamney-Care (that's right, it's still based off of Romney's stuff) is not the answer. Do we need all to be covered? Absolutely! But not at such a high of price. There is absolutely no reason anyone should be charged $20 to take 2 Tylenol while getting hospital care. It's about price gauging, for sure. Make it illegal to charge so much for use of equipment & things. Bring the price down so healthcare is affordable. Oh...and make it OK for people to get the prescriptions they need & make it OK to see the right specialists without the hinderance of insurance barriers. Trust me...it's happened to us. And marketing prescription drugs publicly is not OK, and should be taken away from them. Why? It's up to health professionals, not the everyday WebMD checker, to tell if they need it. Cut out that marketing & hopefully that will help with "big name" prescription costs going down. No one should ever have to pay $400 for any medication! When drug stores can offer $4 prescriptions, that should set a precedent.

It is so very wrong for people who need a particular attention given to them, but can't because insurance won't pay for it, and then one cannot afford to pay for it out of their own pocket. It's a disgusting vicious cycles that has to be broken! Oh...and taxing people who can't afford healthcare isn't the answer either.

These two issues are completely tied in together. It's both/and...not either/or. (see about my PURPLE POLITICS)

I, personally, am against the possession of civilian guns. That's my thinking. But...I wasn't brought up with them, either. No defending "my side" will make me want to jump into that mold of defending my 2nd amendment right when I've never had to deal with it...and been just fine. And the segway is that if I did want to get one, I truly hope I was turned down. Why? Because I have mental health issues.

If you remember when I've talked about my DEPRESSION ISSUES, I also said that I had been suicidal. I tried to overdose, and it didn't work. Luckily. However, those issues are never truly gone for me...I can easily slide back into those deep, dark areas. And I have brought up that I imagine another way of doing it, but I cannot make that work, which is a good thing. I can imagine the barrel of gun at my temple & can feel the cold metal against the right side of my head. If there was a gun in our house, I might find a way to use it. So the possession of this weapon is off limits!

That being said, I know there might be some kind of violation of privacy, blah-blah, if health records were a part of this background check to purchase a gun. I know of more than one person who either owns a gun or would like to that have mental health issues & are on medication. If this is the case...a weapon of destruction should not be in your possession...or under the same roof where they reside. Friends & relatives should know what your issue is & know that showing you where they stash their firearms or lending one (or more) to you is a serious lack of good judgement.

You know what all of that leads to? Murderous rampages. When someone who is in serious need of psychological help uses a firearm to take out many, and you turn around and defend them having a gun...guess what you look like. (Note: at the same time, whining & pouting because someone does have a firearm is just as crazy...because it is in the constitution.)

I have seen a couple of posts from people who have shared painstaking stories of loved ones who were lost to mental health issues to the point that they were no longer the same person. Good people, but who ended up with a twisted view on life for whatever reason. It's sad & horrible.

We have to realize that, if these people who need mental help, they can still use any means necessary to get their "point across"...they will find a bat or club, knives or axes, even create a bomb.

Along with some of these psychological triggers is the incidental glamorization of the assailants in these tragedies. If every name & face of these killers are all over the news & media, they got what they wanted...notoriety. Remembered for something big. The more we talk about their names & cover every inch of their lives...they have made a name for themselves...just as they had hoped to do - you know, like the last guy who did it. If we focus on the victims, it is no longer about the killer. We don't glamorize them anymore. But we get this sick curiosity about them & try to get into their minds. Why do we even want to be there when we see the outcome?

Morgan Freeman was credited with pointing out the media for being the big issue of a lot of these tragedies by sharing the name & face of the assailant over & over & over &...
As it turns out, Morgan Freeman didn't say it. But the words still ring true...to a point. The media is another large portion of the issue. Don't give anything personal away about any murderer. They seek & crave that kind of attention in these cases. And then we still cover their trials & every moment leading up to what's coming to them.

The glamorization of "reality" television with the people we make celebrity for outlandish behaviors & our lack of talking openly & honestly about mental health issues contribute greatly to this.

Gun control, healthcare, and media have jaded us as a people. Keeps us divided because we are focussing on the wrong things at the wrong times.

I've also heard that it's because God isn't allowed in our schools anymore. There is still prayer happening, mostly silently by teachers for their students & their days, and by students about to take a test. There is still gathering at flagpoles & Fellowship of Christian Athlete clubs that still meet & pray...in schools. We have worked SO hard to not offend, that we have been forced to be the defensive. And it forces us to hand out participation trophies & not make anyone work for anything. Just show up & you get recognized.
Where are our priorities, people? What are we really wanting & really fighting for?

President Obama, once again, delivered a beautiful speech at the inter-faith service for the fallen children & faculty in Newtown. Again, he spoke from being a parent. He was truly emotional...and I know. My hubby had to deliver A HARD SERMON this weekend & had the same tone. You get emotional, but know you have to keep it together in that moment. And when the president said that changes need to be made...everyone jumped to conclusions as to what he might mean. You know what he meant? He meant that CHANGES NEED TO BE MADE! That's it. That was not the time or place to spell it out. Did he elude to it? Yes...but guess what? It was a lot of what I pointed out here. It's more than gun control, folks...it's mental health issues, too. Don't just hear part of it...hear the whole of it. Much like scripture...take the whole thing instead of dissecting it into just pieces you want to get out of it.

I apologize for covering this so soon...but I'm sick of people's focus on just a couple of things while others deeply mourn.

I mourn. As a parent, as a human, as an American...I mourn.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is Saddened & Disheartened by Tragedy & Reactions

So anyway...

Friday is generally a social media free day for my hubby & I. It's his day off & we want to spend it together. Being out & about yesterday (a Friday), we were completely oblivious to the horrendous & vile situation that was happening...

Imagine our shock as we got home, settled in & discovered that there was yet another shooting. I mean, how many do there need to be? My answer is, "Absolutely none!" But that's not how things have been happening in the last few months. But this one was even worse. This one involved children...a lot of children...

Watching the news as moment-by-moment updates were coming in surrounding the situation at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut, we just sat there stunned & shaken. We were speechless as tears filled our eyes & streamed down our cheeks as live feeds were being shown from the scene outside the school.

As parents watching this madness & sadness, my heart was breaking & aching for the families, the school, the entire community & the nation while all of this was unfolding...the helplessness of the parents there. The children who survived were being carried by their parents, or escorted in blankets or coats while being clutched & coddled. I can't even imagine.

Then there were the reports of the numbers lost: last I heard, there were 27...and 20 of them were children. Just wow...20 kids under the age of 10 were taken from their families for no good reason. Right before (and during) the holidays. I cannot even imagine what emotions this will drone up in these families & in that community, as well as extended communities.

A huge, senseless tragedy happened yesterday. All we wanted was to get our own children home from school to just hug them...a lot. We had to step away from the house, and Teen Girl beat us home. As soon as we got back to the house, we headed directly to her room, and just hugged her. My emotions got the best of me & I just cried while holding her. She was weirded out, but understood. They did talk about it a bit at their own school, but the understanding really wasn't there. And then we decided not to leave the house again until after Lil Guy got home & we could just make sure he was safe with us. We got him off the bus & hugged him so big. He didn't understand what was going on at all.

That was 2 of our kiddos home...Teen Boy was at a tournament...in another state. Of all days for him to be hundreds of miles away...it had to be now. *sigh* And he wasn't due home until anywhere from 2:30-4:00 AM the next morning. That's already a hard thing for a parent to have your kid in another far away place from you...but this was not the time (as it turned out) to have him so far. And we wouldn't see him for a long time (for us).

We get to love on our kiddos, we get to tell them we love them & how proud we are of them. 20 families of lost children won't be able to do that. They did not get to tuck their children into bed last night, they didn't have them in their beds to wake up today; the children did not get to come home to count their presents under the tree & speak loudly at dinner about their countdown to Christmas and what Santa is going to bring them.

We sit at home, only being able to witness the aftermath, trying to rationalize the why. What did yet another young adult male have brewing within him to feel the need to leave such a trail of bloodshed...and even more horrifyingly, in a kindergarten classroom? I can't imagine what his brother is going thru right now; he lost his parents & brother in an evil mess, all while being mistaken to be the assailant. I really...just...can't...even...imagine...

As hubby & I ran more errands yesterday afternoon, and after making sure our kiddos (well, 2 of them) were home & safe, we ran into a "staff member" at Lil Guy's school. I asked her about what was being brought up at our own school. She really hadn't been there much that day, but we discussed the fact that the would-be-killer would have been buzzed into the school...his mother worked there, so why would the staff ever question why he might be there. Even if she wasn't there that day, he may have come to pick something up for her or anything. Why would they have suspected he came in fully armed? They wouldn't have. And even with everyone being screened somehow before entering our own school's building, they would never have questioned a family member. Why would they?

I trust Lil Guy's school. I trust the high school of my other 2. This is a freak, senseless & horrible tragedy. I think about the little ones lost, as well as the principal & teachers. Hearing the sorts of heroics that came out of this mass shooting from teachers & other children is amazing to hear...and also so difficult...they never should have been forced into that situation. All those precious & innocent children witnessing such horror. Parents wouldn't even let them watch movies with this kind of plot so they would not have to deal with that in their young minds...and yet they had to live it.

And, as the same response from much of social media, after the movie theatre & mall tragedies, gun control posts immediately started going up; both on the "take them all away, " to "don't take my gun" posts. People, we lost innocent children & innocent lives yesterday, last week, and this past summer. There are people in deep mourning. Even though there was a gunman that took their lives, we need to focus our thoughts & prayers on those mourning. How dare any of you put up such disgusting political posts during this time. Tact & timing, people. Learn them. If that's where your brain went, and your typing & clicking fingers took over, you need to look into your hearts. How dehumanizing to throw that out there.

In the same light, President Obama made an incredible speech about this. He beautifully & emotionally delivered words so eloquently from the heart of a parent. If you were disgusted by anything he had to say, again, look into your hearts.

Our political thoughts should not be clouding our prayers & thoughts in this unspeakable outcome. Do I have thoughts about it? Yes I do. But, as a parent who's heart breaks for the families & the community in Connecticut, I pray diligently for your own healing. The emotional scars are deep, and may compassion come out of this situation as we all deal with this horrendous tragedy over this time of year. Or any time of year.

Put your nasty posts & political thoughts away, folks. Join hands & pray...this could have happened anywhere. Even your own community, your own school, to your own child. How's that for a wake up? Changes need to be made, folks...and not where you are encouraging the focus to be, either.

People, we need to stop, take pause, and pray/send positive energies & strengths to that place. And I would love to post my hubby's sermon sometime tomorrow for more beautiful words from a frustrated human who is a parent, and a pastor.

And...if you haven't already...hug your children, kiss them on the cheek &/or head, tell them you love them...and just love more & hate less overall. It's detrimental at this point...

As always...stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Took a Big Bite out of the Offered Apple

So anyway...

I have officially entered into a new phase & crossed to a side that I never honestly thought that I would. So imagine my surprise when I figured out it would just work out better for me, personally, by doing such a thing.

You must understand that I needed a change...I just had no idea how much of a change it would actually mean & how things are gonna change because of it...

Wanna know what happened? Well...

You've heard that the Dark Side offers cookies, right? And I love me some cookies...and Star Wars...

But what happens when they offer you an apple? Is it more like the evil queen disguising herself as the old lady selling apples...you know...in the woods...with one special one just for Snow White?

Well...what happened to me might be looked at as the evil queen situation in some people's eyes. Others will gladly welcome me over.

So...what happened? Well, I took a bite of Apple. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!

I already had an iPod. I kind of used it off & on. And I've alway used phones from the Android flavor, but I was needing a new phone & was trying to figure out which was going to suit my purposes & uses best. After researching from both markets, I came to the conclusion that the iPhone 5 would be the best fit. And when that was figured out, I ended up taking over my hubby's iPad that he was going to trade in.

So, now my hubby & I are so cute (as if you all didn't already know that) by having our iPads & our iPhones.

So, now I'm trying to learn a whole new set of technology & get used to where new buttons are, new apps, and...well...everything.

Here's how I see it: there's people who are die-hard for Apple products & those dead-set against it. It's like the right & left of politics, too. Have you noticed?

For me, it's treated like MY STYLE OF POLITICS...I go on what is logical for me. OK, so I have Apple products now...it doesn't mean I hated them before, but I don't hate Android products either. They are different & serve different purposes. That's how I see it. I weighed the options & did research & dabbled with both. This is what works for me.

Now my question becomes: Does this make me anything like a Disney Princess now...just for Apple since I took the big ol' bite this time?

* Princess Leia is Anakin's daughter; Anakin turned to the Dark Side; Star Wars is now Disney.

* Snow White is the Evil Queen's stepdaughter; the Evil Queen tried to kill her with an apple; they are from Disney.

Is it too big of a stretch to just totally assume I have joined the ranks? I have tiaras, I KNOW MY STAR WARS, I took the Apple...

So...I'M A DISNEY PRINCESS!!!
(obviously)

Fitting crossover, don'cha think?

Oh, I'm getting a text, an email & Siri (you know, my page) are all coming in. But I've decided to call a carriage from somewhere else...I don't trust this Apple Maps horse.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Needs to See Some Respect - Show It

So anyway...

As you all know probably know by now, I'm not the most political person...but I've had to get on my soapbox in the last several months because of the immaturity of both sides of the aisle. Ugly & bratty was & still is hard to deal with. Especially when it's supposedly a bunch of "adults".

Those of you acting like you would be a martyr for your own party? Oh, puh-leez!

So that's why I have tried to start a movement of PURPLE POLITICS...the voice of compromise in our government. The urge of the lefty-democrat-blue drinkers & the righty-republican-red drinkers to come to the middle & pour your glasses of bitterness into the middle to create a sweet flavor of purple.

So I have been on a mission to find my perfect political shirt: a purple Koolaid Man tshirt! Oh Yeah!

There are others who have hopped onto the purple bandwagon. A place needed to be created where the moderates could actually feel like they/we could speak up. One of my bandwagon riders was on my mission to get me a koolaid shirt. She won & found it first...that's a whole other story that I may blog about soon...cuz it's entertaining. But here is my shirt, y'all:

Can you read my note? It says "Enjoy!"

See? I look like my pic above...OK, it's blurry, but I have on no makeup. No one needs to see that.

I do wish I could've had it before election day, but not this time. However, I will still wear it loud & proud. When you all see it, you will know what it stands for! Because it was not loud enough to get thru the campaign season...

That was quite the round of campaigning & elections, don't you think? It was a dizzying & gut-wrenching journey that I couldn't NOT wait see come to an end. There is a large number of people who did not like destination chosen by majority.

So now, I gotta pull out my soapbox again. I haven't gotten on it in quite some time. And apparently the time has come for me to jump on. So brace yourselves...here we go:

I have gotten on my SOAPBOX before about the level of nasty, one-sided politics. And I have seen the liars come out in full force. I'm not even talking about candidates, either. I'm talking about all the ridiculous supporters who keep on their blinders about what the post & what they say. You can't say you want peaceful posts & "discussion", put out your "prayer requests", and pretend you are looking for a better solution when you also put hateful, vile, and personal attacks on top of fake & mistruth information that is such a twisted truth. And you actually believe you are saying the right things?

I'm going to tell both sides something right now. If you haven't picked it up from my other posts about this, then pay attention now:

When you put that stuff out there, you look like the biggest jerk & no one with actual common sense is going to listen to it. If you want things to be better, then quit it with the smut & mud slinging from your own walls. Seriously.

There was a time (before social media) when there was this thing called "RESPECT" for our leaders. But now we can just say as hateful & childish things as ever. Even though that's part of our 1st amendment right, the vile levels from BOTH sides really should be come down upon. Personal attacks & trying to undercut in bratty ways should be a felony. Yep, I said it. (Thank you, 1st Amendment!) You think that thought is not OK? I've got more.

We just finished recognizing our veterans for their service & sacrifices to make sure our entire country was free. The United States of America...and the word "united" is in there. This part is VERY important. We are coming back to this...

As the election results have come out, and the voting wasn't quite as close as it was predicted to be, "sides" are now trying to hurl their koolaid at each other & anyone else. Remember that whole "ugly" thing? You're being a jerk thing? We aren't listening to you since you sound like your having a whiney brat tantrum thing? Yeah...

The dirt level of posts has risen instead of faded.

Seriously! Stop.

Even worse about the election results? There is going to be a primal civil war that may break out due to the lack of tolerance & respect. The majority spoke & now you are trying to blame & point fingers & discount whoever the majority clearly chose because you are clearly less than tolerant & are bad sports.

This civil war I speak of has to do with the states who want to not be part of the UNITED States any longer. I'm embarrassed to say I'm in one of those states. Talk about near-treasonous levels of thinking! (told you it would get worse) There are even veterans who are touting the fleeing. All they have fought for & they are setting such bad examples coming back.

Do you remember when George W. Bush was running for office & there were several celebrities who threw big hissy fits stating they would move out of the country if he won? So many of you offered up your support in helping them pack. You are the ones who gave them an openly hard time about leaving the greatest country & blah-blah-blah. So...you don't like the outcome now? So you've upped the ante? Shameful.

Those of you who stated you would move to Canada if the election didn't turn out like you'd hoped, they are successfully running programs & have a tolerance level in place...the ones you were hoping to run from. Think about that for a moment.

Oh...and not everyone in each state thinks exactly the same. You can't just up & take your state to go home cuz things didn't go as you thought. An entire state is not like a baseball, folks. Oh...and then what? Government would look very differently. You would have no representation. You just sit in your corners & pout. By the way...what if we now had to have border patrol between states because you now don't belong to The States? That would make you an immigrant. Congratulations! Oh, and please give up any Social Security your getting paid, any other aid, and any military &/or government benefits. Thank you.

Now...that doesn't take into account all the crazy thinking of the far left, either. If you voted just so you could secure handouts...then that's not right. A lot of people do need handouts once in a while. But...those that take advantage of the system need to be reeled in!! I do think there should be drug tests for welfare. I'm just gonna say it! And, if you are on welfare/food stamps, you don't have the money for alcohol, cigarettes, tattoos, drugs...I mean, c'mon! Oh...and if I need to show my ID to pay with my card at JC Penney or Goodwill, or many  other places, it won't kill you to have some sort of ID when you are asked. If you have something to hide...it will come out. And breaking the system to keep having kids so YOU can get free healthcare is not right either. Where's the money to feed you 7 kids when you can hardly keep a roof over your head & tummies filled, then shut down the baby factory & try to do something to get back on your feet. Plus...there are so many out there who want a family & have trouble having the kids. Why are you hoarding the population for yourself? Greed? You call that "trying to get by"? There's couples out there who cannot or have issues conceiving that have so much love to give. They need the children you can't take care of. After a certain period of time, the hand-out-only takers need to be cut off & actually contribute to society.

I would also like to point out that some of these couples who cannot conceive just cannot physically do it together. But they are loving people who are much more willing to take care of a child than most parents out there now. Why would we want to stop that? I would also like to bring up that there is no sanctity in marriage, overall, right now based on the current divorce rate. So why are we concerned about who gets married when you may be on your 3rd marriage right now? Something to think on.

We need to find some common sense, folks. Be UNITED! Stop worrying about these trivial things & work on what is good for the people. Guess what? That might mean it's not JUST in line with your personal thinking. Isn't that great about this country of the UNITED States? And if you claim "These Colors Don't Run, " then don't support running away from this great country. We can come together, people. It's possible. Open your hearts & minds about it.

Oh...and if you want to tout praying for the country, then do it. And if you prayed that God would direct our country & elections in the direction it needs to go, then complain we full of idiots, you might want to think about how you pray.

And if "the other side" is saying things that are disrespectful...it's just as immature to keep posting & saying things that are supposed to cut them back down, too.

Y'ALL BE ACTING CHILDISH! STOP IT!!

I will put my soapbox up for now. The ugly needs to stop. We need to support our country in the here-and-now. Respect, people. Show it. For all leaders. The ones that were voted in by majority from the citizens of this great & united country.

The power of purple, baby! It's OK to compromise for the greater good! OH YEAH!!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica