AM~Erica Served Up Blueberries

So anyway...

For some reason, I've had my grandmother on my mind lately. Not good, not bad...just present.

Then I got in a conversation with someone who brought up a song that made them think of their grandmother. It was a heartfelt conversation remembering our grandmothers.

It hasn't been a year, yet, since my grandmother passed. And Mother's Day is approaching quickly, which will make it my very first Mother's Day without a grandmother.

Not that I'm fond of the holiday, or those like it (reminder HERE), but it is still wholly prevalent. No real way around that fact.

Recently, I did set up a memory table for her. It's not much, but just enough.

I wanted to carry it over from the memory tree I did for her at Christmas. (reminder HERE)

So she is always there....but just strong on my mind in the last few days.

**********

It's that time of year. Some berries are coming into harvesting time! So I'm trying to pick some up at the store.

Several years ago, while we were living in St. Louis, we took one of our far-too-few trips to the Soulard farmer's market, we came across a year of an overabundance of blueberries in season! We purchased a 5 pound box of blueberries for $3! What a deal!!

Since then, the blueberries have not been in such overabundance, and the prices on them have not been so thrifty. We are paying as much or more for a pint of blueberries than we paid that day at Soulard.

Now with some of my price matching & non-extreme couponing I do, I did find blueberries on decent sale, as opposed to what they have been going for. So I made sure to purchase some.

It's time for standardized testing around here (whole other subject I will not touch here), and so I've been trying to prepare the boys the best I can. So, I've read that eggs can help brains on test days, as well as berries. Blueberries are supposed to be great! They have earned the nickname of "brain berries" for that reason.

So, I've been fixing them scrambled eggs on test days....and I almost forgot we had the blueberries!

This morning, Lil Guy had testing to prepare for. He asks for green eggs (like I make on Dr. Seuss' birthday, HERE). They are cheesy scrambled eggs with bacon bits, salt & pepper, and some parsley - they are, then, colored a bit o'green, whisked & then cooked up.

While the eggs were frying up, I happened to remember the berries. I pulled them out wondering if he'd remember...

It's been quite a while, you know. The last time some blueberries had been pulled out of the freezer for him. Maybe about 3-ish years or so. And I really didn't know how...or even if...he'd react.

I placed the berries on the side of the scrambled cheesy green eggs onto the table for his breakfast. He came out, sat down & began to consume the edibles. But he didn't even react...

...until...

...I heard Lil Guy turn his voice to me to say, "Hey, mom! Do you remember when we would be at Gigi's? Not the nursing home, but her house before that? She would pull out blueberries when we'd go? Remember that?"

He was very matter-of-fact about his questions, and there I was trying to choke back tears while smiling that he remembered.

When he was very little, he went snooping in her kitchen (because he was way too smart for his own good) and discovered blueberries in the freezer & decided to start eating them. My grandmother was so tickled by it, she always made sure to keep blueberries in her freezer for when we would come by...in case he was looking for blueberries.

I don't think he realized how the blueberries got started, but I'm so glad just having those berries on his plate, really to help his brain on test day, would make him think of his Gigi.

Join the club, my son. She seems to be very present.

*grabbing a tissue*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica's Amazingly Magical Halloween

So anyway...

I know I am trying to recover from Halloween yesterday/last night. Are you? We all celebrate differently, if at all.

And for anyone who doesn't, my pastor hubby had this to say to our church congregation on Halloween:

**********

Pastors Corner
Today is Halloween, so I'm going to keep this short: be safe and have fun. Seriously. Far too often we try to read to many things into days like this. Should we as Christians recognize and celebrate Halloween? Of course. Remember, as longs as you keep God centered in your life it's OK. Most "Christian" holidays as we know them began as pagan celebrations. Instead of trying to stop those celebrations, the early Christians simply "re-purposed" them. In other words, they gave them new meanings. Be creative. I'm sure you can do the same with Halloween.

Again, be safe and have fun.

Blessings,

Pastor Chris

**********
Halloween is my favorite! It really, ridiculously, is. It might qualify as an illness...but I enjoy every moment of it!

Just to remind you, you can click HERE to jog your memory of my Halloween passion.

Well, with a HALLOWEEN PAST FRESH IN MY MIND, I was pumped for Halloween even more so than usual.

Of course I had to have a perfect Halloween dinner to get things started. You can find out about the Boo Hash & Monster Mash Potatoes HERE.

Then my hubby & I got into our attire. We were so cute in our couples costume!

Tony "Dimples" Capezio & (the return of) Maisey J. Carmichael

And the kiddos were ready, too!

Wendy Corduroy from 'Gravity Falls'; Captain Rex - Clone Trooper; post-apocalyptic soldier

Only Lil Guy was trick-or-treating this year. That was weird. Teen Boy took Lil Guy out to get candy, then Teen Girl & my hubby stayed at home to help hand out candy. That was all a little weird, for sure.

However...I was so extra excited for trick-or-treaters this year! Seriously!
While we did our church's Trunk-or-Treat event, our car was parked by a really great couple who had these fantastic retro blow mold figurines! Ghosts & pumpkins & such...they all looked so good! And we went SUPER simple, but effective: just a couple of coolers with a spiderweb shower curtain as a table cloth, and then one of the brilliant ideas my hubby came up with to use at our house...trick-or-treat plastic pumpkins as luminaries!

As the evening went on, the really awesome couple came over & asked if we wanted more of those pumpkins. So we worked out getting several more so that we could have more than just 6 to light up a small part of our walkway to the porch...

Front porch on Halloween 2010. Yep...that's all, folks.

So this year...we ended up with about 18!! And I will tell you that it looked amazing on Halloween night to greet the trick-or-treaters at our house!

See this pumpkin? It's huge...and I got offers to trade for it twice.
That was a no-go. I love this pumpkin...

*sigh* Yeah...it looked great! And...AND??? We got several compliments about how awesome the simple-yet-effective setup looked!

I can't tell you how excited I was to be able to extend our modest decor out to the end of the driveway! We are on a street that is mostly, and sadly, dark on Halloween. We began to figure this out. Why? Well, it had to do with the last couple of Halloweens...

After our 80 trick-or-treater count on our first year in the neighborhood, the following year was a Chiefs' game on Halloween. We only ended up with less than 40 that year. I was so bummed, but wasn't surprised. But then last year came around & I hoped for numbers to go back up...but...not so much. As we discovered that the neighborhood was mostly dark on our connecting street, we heard that the main streets at the top & bottom of our street was bustling with activity! *sigh* And we didn't have much of a draw. So we only had 40-ish again.

So, I was pumped with our extended line of luminaries! Maybe we could be seen for a bit of a distance. And guess what...GUESS WHAT!!!! Even though our connecting street was pretty dark...imagine my happy-dance-excitement when we had a total of...

76!!!!

WOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Plus, we had very few duplicate costumes come to the door! Very creative & original all the way around. It was awesome!

The weather was a perfect, slightly damp & chilly Halloween night. Kiddos were out in droves! We had long time friends come by, a surprise of someone who we didn't know what happened to them & it was fantastic to be surprised by that, we had a family where the mom was Cinderella & dad was hardcore Prince Charming...so fabulous, and we had the cutest little Sully!

And not only did we get almost 80 trick-or-treaters of all sizes & ages (because that doesn't bother me...make an effort, say "Trick-or-Treat" or give a friendly "Happy Halloween" and I'm sold)! You know, there was a very tall guy that showed up as Spiderman...and Teen Girl gushed that she was so happy he came trick-or-treating. She said that he is one of the special ed students at the high school & that he is one of the sweetest kids you'd ever meet. So...watch who you judge who comes to your door. Just wanna throw that out there.

Also, not only did we get compliments on our walkway, but 3 girls (apparently also high-schoolers) who came as B-F-Fs who looked at me open the door...appeared amazed...and then the middle girl said,
"WHOA! I love your costume! And I remember you from last year...you were the Queen of Hearts!! And it was so awesome!"
Which was funny since I was actually Rosey Redd 3 Halloweens before that! *snort* I guess it made an impression on her...but surprised she realized who I was between Rosey & Maisey!

Rosey Redd - 2010                                                 Maisey J. Carmichael - 2013

As we were running out of candy, and the witching hour was winding down, the kiddos were all home & getting settled, the dance party continued off & on in our entryway, the kiddos stopped coming to the door before 9:00. We had 76 trick-or-treaters on our doorstep in just over an hour & a half. It was incredible!

When hubby asked me what my original goal was...I was going to be happy to get 30 after the last couple of years. I was stoked, surprised, and humbled by the numbers we had!

And I love Halloween. Love it.

Also, Teen Girl said it was weird deciding to stay home for the first time...but she loved every minute of it! And she understood my point of view. Which is & can be magical!

Just hanging out & handing out candy...and loving it!

In the meantime, with my apparent excitement by the night, hubby & Teen Girl said they coul smell a blog post comin'! Well then...TA-DA!

I went & got a few more "luminaries" on clearance today to add to the ones we were so blessed to get from that hilarious & fun little couple...and I am so looking forward next year...as always!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

A Magical Scene Set in the Mind of AM~Erica

So anyway...

It's the eve of all hallow's eve. And I'm getting stoked!

Halloween really is MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY, and it also arrives during MY FAVORITE SEASON. Ahhhh...I do so love it all.

Last night was no exception on that reminder...

Around here, there has been some rain with some slightly thick & foggy air. There has been an ever-so-slight chill in the air...just so perfect for this time of year. And this scene got me thinking about a magical night of trick-or-treating a few years ago.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a dark & stormy night...
OK, not really, but it was night much like I described before the beginning of this story...

As being the WIFE OF A PASTOR, especially in the United Methodist itinerarent system, your spouse gets appointed to a church somewhere within your state (usually). Therefore, you don't really have a say in where you end up for whatever stint is needed at that church. And there are the churches that have a parsonage for their pastor & family (parsonage - the house or living accommodations for the pastor & family thru the appointed church). Many times, it's really nice when a family finds out there is a house provided! It takes out the stress of having to find living accommodations fitting for the family. And, even though we are fully grateful for the accommodations, it can pose challenges. One of these things is where the parsonage is located. The family moves into where the house is located...it could be right next to the church, it could be in the middle of nowhere, it could be on a tiny side street, it could be in a charming neighborhood...you get the idea. This is good info to know for this story.

Several years ago, our family was appointed to a new church. This one was terrifying for me since it would be the first time living out of my comfort zone. We were sent across the state. Luckily we were blessed with the church's parsonage! It was kind of a big deal for us since it was my hubby's 1st major appointment! It was frightening & wonderful.

When we got moved into the house & got settled, we realized a few quirks:
1) the house, which was very close to the church, actually sits close to the end of a long side street with a tiny cul-de-sac at the end...so not much of a "neighborhood";
2) the few neighbors that were on the street with us weren't fond of the church & were not very good neighbors (except for 1).

Since my hubby & I had been together, we'd only lived in 1 place where we had a decent amount of trick-or-treaters. We lived in a neighborhood that did have several kiddos that were willing to go door-to-door begging for candy in crazy-adorable getups. When we had to end up moving to duplexes & townhomes, we lost that fun luxury. Which was sad for me. I love that part! I like putting up some decorations & seeing the creativity & variety of kids in costume. Heck...I love greeting them at the door blaring music & in some kind of getup, myself! So when we wouldn't even get 10 kids coming to the door, it was disheartening.

I looked forward to getting into a house...in a neighborhood! When we moved into that parsonage, I only saw that we were in a house that was surrounded by other houses. Imagine how sad I was when reality set in that there may not be too many kids & answering the door was probably out of the question. *sigh*

There is a family, at the church we were appointed to, that still holds a very special place in our hearts. They invited us over to a family gathering they were having. We were not used to anything like that, but discussed that the kids could go trick-or-treating in that neighborhood, there would be food, and we'd get to share our costumes...so after a lot of deliberation, we hesitantly decided we would go. And it was quite the deal!

I would like to take a moment to say that StL is quite the area to go trick-or-treating on Halloween! Neighbors/friends/families get together around a firepit in a driveway to hand out candy, there are spirits for adults to be treated with, there are parties, and there is an interesting culture of giving a trick (such as a Halloween joke) to get the treat. I thought it was interesting that my kiddos were sent home with a list of Halloween jokes (which I thought was just for kicks & giggles for the holiday), but come to find out...it was useful information.

We got to the gathering with our friends & their family. The food for the gathering was incredible! The amount of candy for costumed tykes was crazy. There was a firepit outside & a magician inside. And then we decided to wander the neighborhood to see what kind of candy loot the kiddos could collect...and off we headed with our friends & their kids...

Oh. My. Goodness.
The night had a creepy chill in the foggy air. The trees had left a warm-colored carpet of leaves along the sidewalks that rustled as we meandered over the tops of them. The moon shown brightly over the scene set. The decorations & firepit gatherings were incredible. The culture of asking for the trick (of a joke) took a bit to get used to. No matter...this was a Halloween set up straight off a Hollywood set!

I could feel it down to my very bones, in my heart, and an unexplainable tingle thru my body that told me that this...THIS...was the magic of Halloween I'd been searching for! This is what I longed for! This is the kind of Halloween I wanted.

After that, we just raided a neighboring neighborhood (yeah...I just said that) to take in the same kind of experience, minus the house gathering. However...no matter how great all of that was...I was merely a spectator of the event, not a participant. And that's what I missed.

As much gratefulness as I/we had for the church we were at & the home provided, imagine my crazy excitement when the new church we were appointed to, back on our home-side of the state, got a parsonage for us. And it is in a neighborhood with a lot of streets & houses & kiddos!

Growing up, my mom always kept track of how many trick-or-treaters would come by our house on our cul-de-sac. If I remember right, we could have anywhere from 20-40! If I could get something like that, it would be amazing. So, in my excitement for kids coming to the door of our new place, I got my tally paper ready...

It was a dark & stormy night...
OK, still not really, but on our first Halloween in the neighborhood, imagine how my mind was blown when I tallied up 80 trick-or-treaters!!! *happy dance*

So, as the weather, right now, reminds me of that Halloween magic, I look forward to the trick-or-treaters, the pumpkin luminaries we put out, the candy, playing the music, the dinner I plan on having for the family, dressing up, the kids dressing up, the tally marks & costumes of those who appear on our doorstep...

And I feel so blessed to be where we are at.

I'm stoked!!!! Are you?

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Gets Tidal Wave of Butterfly Moments

So anyway...

Thru this past weekend, even though I DIDN'T GET TO COMICON (actual reason given right HERE) as hoped, I did get flagged down with something else...well...someone else.

With some of the things that I've noticed, it hit me that it's been 6 months since MY FRIEND PASSED AWAY. I had shared a couple of the stories in the previous post about her...so it would be hard pressed for a couple of these other things to be popping up like this...

It began back in February. As I watched the Super Bowl & the commercials, imagine my surprise when this Budweiser commercial came on:

I know this one got to a lot of people. It's so sweet! But I just wept...this very song, even Stevie Nicks singing it, was played at Renee's funeral. So to have it turn up during the Super Bowl was such a shock! It was a bittersweet moment. It really was.

Football with Renee: Tailgating work party. 
My SIL was the Chiefs player...Renee & I did "The Perfect Cheer".

Lately, they've picked up the frequency of the commercial on TV...and I weep or get choked up every time. Seriously. Every. Single. Time.

When I got word that she passed away, I was talking with her sweet mom...and she asked me if there was any music that maybe should be played at the funeral. I was in such shock, I cannot even believe that the song "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks popped right into my head! I don't listen to that song very often. I don't have it on any playlists. It was divine intervention...I know it! Renee would always wear these flowy tops & she'd run over to me to sing & sway like Stevie Nicks...her arms out to the side like wings so we could marvel at the flow of the blouse.
And I have gone back to listen to the lyrics of that song often since then. They were actually very fitting for her. Looking for love and acceptance no matter what was happening. Things in the world would change...and she would put herself out there. She was loved...but not always accepted by some that she really wanted that acceptance from. And that song popped into my head to have her mom play. And I've heard it more since then. Go figure.

*~*~*

And then...when I go by the mall lately, I can hear her laugh. Some of you who knew her know what I'm talking about: her loud, girly, giggly laugh. I started thinking about at what point I would hear it...then it hit me...there's a store that sells these big, wild, blingy purses. If you are in my area & know the mall...it's the one right by the smelly stores (i.e. Bath & Body Works and Yankee Candle). I know she wants me to buy one. But I'm not. It's not my style...but I will love to hear her laughing when I walk by that store. Because I miss it.

*~*~*

Teen Girl's in a play coming up. And we were talking about it at the family get-together the other day. Somehow it came up about Stevie Nicks...since the theatre teacher idolizes Stevie Nicks. And it brought that song rushing right back...

*~*~*

And then...I was chatting with my very dear friend, Princess Jules, last night. We got talking about cakes...and she brought up something that floored me! She talked about her chocolate turd cake. She was worried I would be so grossed out by the sound of it...but...I was glad I was sitting down, or I might have hit the floor. You see...Renee was probably the only person to ever get me to eat something called a "turd". It was a Belgian chocolate truffle, and she had a crate of them at her desk. So...seeing more of the commercial with the song, hearing her giggle as I pass big & blingy purses, then...there was this. That's what put her absolute presence over-the-top...and she used a very trusted friend to convince me to eat a chocolate turd.

*~*~*

It causes me to reflect back on my short time on Earth with my friend. And cannot believe it's been 6 months since I last talked to her AND her passing. It's been 6 months, and there are still so many reminders. They really did build up a lot within a couple of days, too. I mentioned it on Facebook last night. Another dear friend said that she lost her mother about a year & a half ago...and still sees reminders all of the time. She called them "Butterfly Moments". I couldn't properly put out there how much that meant. Especially after my connection to butterflies anyway...and the BUTTERFLY CONNECTION TO MY GRANDMOTHER.

I took a moment & thought about this: I wore a butterfly maxi dress to Renee's funeral. And, over the weekend, and as I looked down at the moment, I was wearing this:

This is a stretchy ring I found at Kohl's, on clearance, that I thought would be perfect to wear for Easter...which I did. But I was drawn to wear it thru this past weekend, too. And I ended up having several "Butterfly Moments".

I am so moved by all of this. I am so overwhelmed by the rush of memories that have been coming at me in waves. The tide was certainly high this weekend.

Truly, I am thankful that such a beautiful spirit was in my life. Even for such a short time. I miss her. But love the memories that remain.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Can Eat Some Interesting Stuff

So anyway...

Even though I'm STILL TRYING TO GET WELL, there's these things living in the house that think that I still need to act like a mom. *sigh* It's a good thing I love my kids...or they'd be on their own trying to find their way around the house & out the door early in the mornings. Yeah...I don't think they'd be able to do it just yet.

But, I have tried to make sure they stay healthy or get them back on the path of GETTING & STAYING WELL. They may not like it, but I do it! Cuz I'm still The Mom!

While doing Super Mom duties, Lil Guy has decided that he wants to start taking lunch to school again. He hasn't done this for quite some time, so of course he would pick a time I'm feeling all crummy to pick this back up...but it's fine...IT'S FINE!

As I was finding out what he wanted in his lunch, he told me he wanted a sandwich with ham & turkey with some [turkey] pepperoni, cheese, mayo, BBQ sauce, ketchup & lettuce. That's a good sandwich choice! So I started making it. We have shredded lettuce that I've used, so I tossed some on the sandwich when a piece dropped off the bread onto the counter. I picked it up & ate it..cuz...yum...then it triggered a memory:

*DOO-Doo-doo, DOO-Doo-doo, DOO-Doo-doo...* 

(Imagine Wayne's World style flashback)

Back in high school, I had some weird habits. But what teenager doesn't have weird habits? Amm-i-rite?

I do enjoy breakfast. I could eat breakfast at any point of the day. But there's something that was in my teenaged brain...you know the one with the frontal lobes shut off...that made me start digging for a different breakfast. For quite some time, I ate a sandwich for breakfast. Not a breakfast sandwich on a biscuit or English muffin with sausage & egg. Nope, not for me. Instead...I did this:

I toasted 2 slices of bread, put on some mayo, cheese & lettuce. That's it. Nothing extravagant or anything, but it was what it was. A total BLT, but minus the B...and, well, the T.

Imagine my sandwich looking something like this...but for real.

Just popping that little piece of shredded lettuce in my mouth this morning while making a sandwich with the bread, cheese & mayo involved, too, totally threw my brain back to the early 90's. Weird how we do that.

But it doesn't stop there. It was my high school brain & teenage problem solving (scary sounding...I realize this) that led me to one of my very favorite snackage that I still enjoy to this day. It's one of those things that you might need to tilt your head & squint to figure out...but don't knock it til you try it!

Are you ready to find out?

Brace yourselves...

It's odd & delicious...

I do love me some carrots and caramel! Seriously! I'm not kidding! I keep baby carrots on hand with some caramel sauce cups. Portion controlled deliciousness!

You might want to know where that comes from, right? I didn't just create it in my teenaged brain...remember? I said there was "problem solving" involved...

My mom taught 1st grade for close to a million years. OK, not that long...but a really long time. I know she taught several of you, too. So those of you who were ever in her class, or had another 1st grade teacher at her school, probably did a Johnny Appleseed lesson. It usually culminated with carmel apples.

I looked forward to that section ending, cuz I knew the lazy cooker would be coming home with leftover melted caramel & maybe some leftover apple slices, too. YUM-MY!

However, this one year...the lazy cooker made it back home...with only reminisces of caramel caked to the sides & bottom. *sigh* Little heathens ate it all...or some of the adults couldn't help themselves either. Barbarians, I tell ya! And there was not a single apple slice left either. I. Was. Not. Happy.

However...I did notice that my mom brought home some carrot sticks. You know...little, mini scraping rods...perfect for scraping caramel traces off the sides of a lazy cooker...

So...I picked up a carrot, reached into the inside of the lazy cooker & began to scrape off the melted caramel onto my newfound tool. After several delicious takes of it...I decided to try something...scrape the caramel & BITE it off the carrot.

You know what? It was SO good!!! So...I finished the carrot sticks AND cleaned the melted caramel from the lazy cooker. AND? I found me a new snack.

Go ahead...go try it! Seriously!

Once you do...let me know what you think. Then, you can thank me for giving you the head's up.

Just FYI...my kiddos love it now, too.

I'm sure I have other weird things I eat. Teen Boy makes a thing of finding the weirdest soda suicides ever...and strangely brags about it. Pretty sure Teen Girl has weird things too...we just never see them.

For a while, Lil Guy was putting mayo on his brats & hot dogs.

I know other family members who have weird food stuffs, too.
(I really don't want to discuss the potato chips with scrambled eggs & mayo thing.)

Keep in mind...there were no pregnancy cravings involved in ANY of these.

So...anyone else? What's some of your food likings that would make people question what you eat? Go ahead! Share with the class in the comment section, here on the blog. How did it begin? We could start a whole new culinary revolution!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

A Year Later, AM~Erica Contemplates

So anyway...

I am taking a moment as I plan the upcoming weekend to reflect on a year ago. That's because a year ago yesterday, I lost my grandmother. Alzheimer's took a beautiful woman, a beautiful soul, a beautiful mind. And, with the circumstances surrounding her not knowing anyone by the time she left the earth, I am still saddened. I am really choked up thinking about it.

Last year, my hubby was at Missouri United Methodist Annual Conference, and I was with him. And it was Sunday morning when my mother called me with the news. Though I was sad, I was still at peace with her going. Her quality of life was not serving her well. However, I was sad for my mother & her siblings. They worked so hard to keep visiting her & try to keep my grandmother as sharp as possible as her mind continued to slip away. That's what broke my heart.

Today, I remember back to last year being in the presence of United Methodist clergy & laity. The annual memorial service for those who have gone on before us took place on Sunday morning. We had planned to go, but I was having difficulty focusing. But my hubby & I went anyway. It was hard at first, but it was such an odd service, it actually helped take my mind off of things at hand.

But I also remember my friend, who is a pastor, Jenn. She could tell from a mile away that something wasn't right with me. She could tell it at the memorial service. When we returned to the convention center, where the meetings are held, she tracked me down to find out what was up. I broke down, and she prayed for me & with me. I will be forever grateful for that.

Later, my pastor friend, Angela, ministered to me without even realizing it. She ministered to me through her butterfly necklace. I have had quite a draw to butterflies for years. I have my own Theology of the Butterfly. (feel free to ask me about it...I never mind sharing it) Angela shared a God-filled inspired message to me. Almost a mini-sermon & she had no idea. She didn't know what I was going through, but God knew I needed that message.

I found out at my grandmother's visitation that she had a draw to butterflies, too. And a butterfly had a long visit with one of my aunts on Sunday...the same day I got my word about her & the "butterfly visit".

I'm having a harder time today thinking about all of this than I thought I would. I'm really choked up as I am putting these thoughts out here.

The thought runs through my mind as to my "condition" I was experiencing the week leading up to it. I know I should've seen a doctor...but I hate going to the doctor. Ask my hubby, he gives me a hard time about it...as he should. But I had been waking up in the middle of the night, every night, and not sleeping well after that due to chest pains that would set in. It would last through some of the morning, but would dwindle away & I'd be fine the rest of the day. Weird, I know. Not good, I know. However, that Sunday morning, I dreaded waking up in the middle of the night expecting the pain. I woke up at 2-something, but no pain. I went back to sleep. When I got up, still no pain. Then I got word about my grandmother.

Though I didn't have much interaction with her through her last few years of life, I think she might have been going through something in those last few days beforehand. I can't explain it, but all I know is that she died in her sleep sometime between Saturday night & Sunday morning. I can't help but think that she may have left around 2-something on Sunday morning. The pain was gone. I felt it & didn't know what it was.

As weird as it all sounds, it so incredible, and still hard. But God has given strength through all of it.

I am so grateful for the memories of my grandmother. I learned even more about this remarkable woman after her passing & was even more amazed by what she'd done in life, and also more saddened by what this nasty disease did to her.

I am also so grateful for the gathering of such wonderful clergy & laity every year. God does great things. I pray for everyone durning Annual Conference that the Spirit moves in & through all of you. Each of you are a blessing.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

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PS ~ I saw that Ray Bradbury died today at age 91. Lil guy heard me telling hubby about Ray's passing & lil guy asked how old Gigi is (my living grandmother). I paused & told him she is 91. He responded with, "I hope Gigi doesn't die." I'm in total tears. Just heartbreaking. Hard, hard, hard...and I'm with lil guy. Me, too, lil guy...me, too. *cries*