AM~Erica Served Up Blueberries

So anyway...

For some reason, I've had my grandmother on my mind lately. Not good, not bad...just present.

Then I got in a conversation with someone who brought up a song that made them think of their grandmother. It was a heartfelt conversation remembering our grandmothers.

It hasn't been a year, yet, since my grandmother passed. And Mother's Day is approaching quickly, which will make it my very first Mother's Day without a grandmother.

Not that I'm fond of the holiday, or those like it (reminder HERE), but it is still wholly prevalent. No real way around that fact.

Recently, I did set up a memory table for her. It's not much, but just enough.

I wanted to carry it over from the memory tree I did for her at Christmas. (reminder HERE)

So she is always there....but just strong on my mind in the last few days.

**********

It's that time of year. Some berries are coming into harvesting time! So I'm trying to pick some up at the store.

Several years ago, while we were living in St. Louis, we took one of our far-too-few trips to the Soulard farmer's market, we came across a year of an overabundance of blueberries in season! We purchased a 5 pound box of blueberries for $3! What a deal!!

Since then, the blueberries have not been in such overabundance, and the prices on them have not been so thrifty. We are paying as much or more for a pint of blueberries than we paid that day at Soulard.

Now with some of my price matching & non-extreme couponing I do, I did find blueberries on decent sale, as opposed to what they have been going for. So I made sure to purchase some.

It's time for standardized testing around here (whole other subject I will not touch here), and so I've been trying to prepare the boys the best I can. So, I've read that eggs can help brains on test days, as well as berries. Blueberries are supposed to be great! They have earned the nickname of "brain berries" for that reason.

So, I've been fixing them scrambled eggs on test days....and I almost forgot we had the blueberries!

This morning, Lil Guy had testing to prepare for. He asks for green eggs (like I make on Dr. Seuss' birthday, HERE). They are cheesy scrambled eggs with bacon bits, salt & pepper, and some parsley - they are, then, colored a bit o'green, whisked & then cooked up.

While the eggs were frying up, I happened to remember the berries. I pulled them out wondering if he'd remember...

It's been quite a while, you know. The last time some blueberries had been pulled out of the freezer for him. Maybe about 3-ish years or so. And I really didn't know how...or even if...he'd react.

I placed the berries on the side of the scrambled cheesy green eggs onto the table for his breakfast. He came out, sat down & began to consume the edibles. But he didn't even react...

...until...

...I heard Lil Guy turn his voice to me to say, "Hey, mom! Do you remember when we would be at Gigi's? Not the nursing home, but her house before that? She would pull out blueberries when we'd go? Remember that?"

He was very matter-of-fact about his questions, and there I was trying to choke back tears while smiling that he remembered.

When he was very little, he went snooping in her kitchen (because he was way too smart for his own good) and discovered blueberries in the freezer & decided to start eating them. My grandmother was so tickled by it, she always made sure to keep blueberries in her freezer for when we would come by...in case he was looking for blueberries.

I don't think he realized how the blueberries got started, but I'm so glad just having those berries on his plate, really to help his brain on test day, would make him think of his Gigi.

Join the club, my son. She seems to be very present.

*grabbing a tissue*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is Journeying Into the New Year

So anyway...

The first blog post of a new year! TA-DA!

Like many, I took New Year's Eve to reflect on 2014. There were big things that happened, good & bad, that actually shaped a year I never would have expected.

Let's start with the craziest of all the things. Shall we?

A year ago, I was making fun of the typical resolution. If you remember, I even came up with the WORKOUT REGIMEN I thought I'd follow.
Go ahead. Read it! Why? Because, a year later, it's now hilarious! I mean, it was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek to begin with, but I was still pretty serious about it at the same time. But check out one of the things I said doesn't fit with me...then giggle with me...

I mean, look at me now!! We can all get a good giggle together as I took up something I never, Never, NEVER imagined doing for fun. FOR FUN, people. Who they heck did I become?

Yep, I TOOK UP RUNNING. Even after I had pretty much made fun of those who are runners &/or work out in any form. It's amazing what can stir within you that changes you. All it took, for me, was seeing friends having fun with it! Not a scary trainer in your face or someone talking down to you because you aren't doing what they are doing. Those are major personality turnoffs!! Who would even want to socialize with anyone who is super fit & angry because of it? Ugh.

My year took a major turn the end of March 2014. Nothing I'd planned on or expected. But...here I am! And, I do it for the fun I can have with it. Isn't that what it should be about? Love what you do? It's hard work, yes, and choices around keeping it up are important...but if you're happy because of it, you haven't sacrificed anything! Well...maybe an awful attitude. I would hope anyway...

Plus, I HAD A KIDDO GRADUATE! How the heck did that happen?? I am not old enough to have a kid headed to college!! *SOBS*

The family went back to Colorado for vacation. We love Colorado. Not for recent legislation, either. It's purely for the sights, I think. And the adventures we can have there. It's pretty awesome. Running around the Dillon Lake Dam at sunrise over the mountains was totally worth it!! And? We spent Independence Day catching the Breckenridge parade, too. It was glorious! The fireworks over Lake Dillon, from our viewpoint, wasn't as awesome as hoped...but it still didn't fully diminish the overall vacay...
We love Colorado...

Shortly after that is WHEN MY GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY. Gosh that was hard. Still is. But we all try to keep up her memory in someway as often as we can. We still grieve her. She was so loved. And there are STILL SIGNS OF HER checking up on us. I love that.

I GOT TO SPEAK to a wonderful group of peers at the Missouri United Methodist Annual Conference pastor's spouse luncheon. God called on me to do this...and I had to really rely on God's guidance to get me thru it. But what a fantastic & supportive group. And what a fulfilling experience it was. I was probably more touched by the connections I made.

I was also blessed to be a part of God's plan to bring our friend, Rob, on board at church. After he lost his wife, just short of a year ago, I'm so glad we could be there to help him thru, be there during his grieving, cheering him on with his running (after I actually made fun of him before I started running),  and so glad he is closely working with us! What great ministry is being done at our church between my hubby & Rob!

It was also because of our co-shenanigator, Rob, that I have made so many connections in the world of running. I have found other runners to be able to cheer each other on with & to be inspired by to keep motivated. Crazy what a seemingly tiny decision can actually turn into...

It also got me reconnected with my lil-sister-from-another-mister, Beqi! It's been great being running buddies, either with or encouraging from afar, with her!!

Oh...and I've been able to incorporate tutus, into what I call "COSTUTUMES", for races. I have discovered that tutus contain superpowers, even!! Just another motivation to keep going!

I've gotten medals for running, too!! Sometimes a girl just really loves her bling!

It's also been discovered how many people I already knew were actually runners already. It gave another level of conversation...or a better connection. Awesome.

I was even given the title of "Runner" on TV! BOOM! Must be official!

Also...running has actually helped me meet & talk to some of the neighbors in the 'hood. Go figure!

We even got to see my brother-in-law get married to a wonderful gal!! So glad she's in our family & that they are happy. They both needed that!

Then I got to take part in something so special. I was blessed to be able to walk in the Kansas City Out of the Darkness memory walk. Whoa...that was actually life-changing. You can read about MY WALK EXPERIENCE, and I hope it helps to open eyes. MY OWN STRUGGLES made it difficult and beautiful to be a part of such an event. I also made some awesome connections & met amazing people thanks to my high school friend, Jenn. And because of that American Foundation for Suicide Prevention walk, I have made a move to become a field advocate for AFSP. This goes beyond my own advocacy, but also into the realm of guiding legislation to include suicide prevention that will hopefully lead to a world without suicide at all. It is something I have been quite passionate about once I stepped forward.

Oh...and who can forget the amazing story of our hometown KC Royals doing their thing & even getting to the World Series?? So good to witness that excitement & go thru so many emotions thru the whole thing. The Royals truly gave baseball a great season.

When HALLOWEEN ROLLED AROUND, we had a record number of trick-or-treaters! Believe it or not, in the year of "Frozen," we didn't have a single Elsa, Anna or Olaf show up to our door. Whether it happened or not, it was a glorious night!

We hosted all of Thanksgiving! Brunch with one side, and dinner with the other. We didn't have to go ANYWHERE! It was glorious...

Also, we changed a few things up at Christmastime. We had a forest of Christmas trees! One of the trees was MY GRANDMA'S MEMORY TREE. I also channeled my grandma making some cookies & candies for the season, too.

And, to top off the whole year, my hubby & I celebrated 20 years of knowing each other. We met 20 years ago...and it is even more apparent today that we were meant for each other! Even taking in A TOTALLY DUMB DATE NIGHT! Perfect time for a sequel to come out for the movie we saw on our first date.

It was quite a year!

~~~~~~~~~~

As I reflected on this at the close of the year, realizing what a different person I'd become, I was wondering about the new year. It's now 2015! A time we feel the need to push a restart button. Turn the calendar, turn a page on your whole new life. Right? Resolutions on how everything is gonna change at the snap of a finger, the stroke of midnight, and a numeral exchange on the year.

But...I wasn't looking for any big goal in the upcoming year. It was weird...

With a wedding, a killer vacation, a graduation-to-college-start, there was a lot set for last year. But we don't have any of the really big stuff coming in 2015...

Well...the family is finally-Finally-FINALLY GOING TO PLANET COMIC-CON (last year's plea), and I have a kiddo who will be starting their senior year, come fall. Other than that, I am just looking forward to continuing the run journey, continuing my advocacy, carrying on my grandmother's memory, loving my family, and just looking for some adventures & things to celebrate...LIKE I DO. I'm even a team captain for a racing team for The Color Run: Shine Tour in KC this March.

We started A NEW TRADITION last year, and was glad to be able to do it again this year. It even had me find SOME NEW RECIPES to try, too.

There were so many unexpected happenings in 2014... Yet no big event, per se, planned for the coming year. No graduations. No weddings. No moves. It makes me wonder what the continued journey into 2015. No big resolutions...just taking things as they come.

That's not so bad...

May you have a wonderful 2015. May it be what YOU make of it!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Stood Crying in Costco's Parking Lot

So anyway...

Have you ever just gotten yourself into a situation that you just stood full-on teary-eyed while in awe of a situation while standing a parking lot? I have. As recently as yesterday.
(I say "recently" because I'm 94.783% sure I've stood crying in a parking lot before.)

Let me back up to a few days ago. Trust me, you need the backstory...

It was a Thursday morning, and the first actual snowfall of the season. The kiddos only had a couple days left of school before the holiday break, and the school district decided to close for the day. We were having a lazy morning at home while trying to work on some more Christmas finalization in continued prep. The lights on all of our trees were twinkling, and we were watching the news.

Hubby was getting coffee & doing some stuff in the kitchen with Lil Guy, and I sat at the dining room table signing Christmas cards for the church staff while watching the snow fall thru the window of the back door as it collected on the deck, the patio furniture and the grills. It was a beautiful Christmasy-type morning!

With our trees up, we moved our recently purchased furniture back to how we originally had our living room set up, which meant the TV could be seen from the dining room table again. As I sat there taking in the view of the snowfall & signing Christmas cards, something on the television caught my attention!

One of the morning news anchors, Mark Alford, was holding up what appeared to be a card with this image & scripture on it:

After seeing this, I just sat at the dining room table & began to sob. I couldn't believe it! A cardinal in the snow with this particular Psalm on it? I really believed it could only mean one thing.

If you remember, we LOST MY GRANDMOTHER in July. I've been talking about her a lot lately. I miss her greatly. We would have celebrated her birthday earlier this month, so HERE'S WHAT WE DID to celebrate this year.

It's also the time of year when cardinals are seen everywhere. They are beautiful in their contrast to snowy backdrops & evergreen trees. My grandmother loved her birds...especially cardinals. Boy, did she love her red birds! This year has been difficult seeing cardinals adorning all kinds of products of sorts around every corner. I knew I would need to brace myself this year, but it still doesn't make it easier.

My grandma also loved the Lord, our God. She always had her bible & at least one devotional close by her chair. It's how she would spend her mornings. And she prayed a lot. She always made sure we knew that she prayed for her family fervently. She was one of only a couple of people I know who actually was the family-oriented person they claimed to be. And she worried about us often. She just wanted us taken care of & safe, always.

Before I came across the above image that morning, I had a great feeling of anxiety take me over. I get those when I feel like something bad may have happened or might happen. With all of MY OWN ISSUES, I don't get the anxiety like that too often. But that day seemed to be overwhelming. I never remember having intense anxiety that seemed so out of the blue like that before. But I went on with my day...

So...I'm sitting at the dining room table, anxiety-ridden & sobbing. Of all things to come across our large television screen, it was a cardinal with a reassurance that her soul has been restored. She is very much OK in Gloryland. I believe that.

When my hubby was trying to figure out why I was overcome with emotion while signing a few Christmas cards, I backed up the story (thanks to modern technology) to show him what came into my view. When the close up of the card, I paused the TV and snapped a pic (the one above). My hubby was as shocked as I was. What a moment!

The close up of Mark holding the artwork was a preemptive tease for a segment coming up for Rhapsody Imaging. It's a husband & wife business that turns his photography of birds & some florals into her creative & beautiful pieces of art. The piece of artwork in the tease was actually a self-standing concave metal piece. And there were so many other things, and so many of the pieces had scriptures on it...
Whew! That was a hard segment to watch! But beautiful. My grandma used to get a subscription to "Birds & Blooms" magazine, so what a glorious moment as I felt like my grandmother had come for a brief moment.

Shorty after that, the weather came on. They love to show viewers photos of weather events when they happen...and someone had sent them a beautiful pic of a snow-covered tree by a snow-covered wooden fence. The fence had a birdhouse on the post, and then, if you looked closely, the tree was beautifully dotted by red spots of cardinals.

*SOBS*

I decided to post the photo I took on Facebook to let folks know my grandmother had stopped by. I had tagged Mark in it, since it was him holding the artwork in my pic. He commented back letting me know touched he was that they could be a part of our lives in that moment. And he also talked up Rhapsody Imaging more as he tagged Pam (the artwork creator) in the comment.

After I'd pulled myself together, and since there was no school, we decided to give another go at trying to get the kiddos to see Santa (the first time was a fiasco on its own). As we stood in line at Bass Pro (like nearly everyone else anymore), I looked down at my phone to see there was a comment on a photo of mine from a name I didn't recognize...
I decided to check Facebook from my phone to see what that was about...
As I read the comment in confusion, and after reading it at least 2 more times, I realized the comment was from Pam at Rhapsody Imaging. It took a moment to sink in that she wanted me to message her my address so she could send me the very piece of artwork I took the picture of! She was so moved by the moment I had, she wanted me to have the concave metal image...

So...there I was crying while in line to see Santa. My older two were freaking out & wanting to know if everything was OK! My hubby wondered why I was crying AGAIN...and I showed him the comment. He was stunned, too. And then we had to explain to the kiddos why mommy is crying in the Bass Pro Santa line...

~~~~~~~~~~

After I got home, I messaged Pam back in my overwhelmed state. As we had a few back-and-forth messages, we decided to save her some shipping cost, we could meet up since she's located in a neighboring town! This was awesome for me since I could tell her face-to-face what a blessing she was.

We decided to meet at the local Costco. (See where this is going?) Once we figured each other out...we embraced in a hug as our greeting! We stood there in the gray, drizzly weather talking about our losses & our blessings.

And I stood there, crying, in Costco's parking lot.

While I stood there crying with Pam, I told her I'd come to a realization that I saw the cardinal image with the Psalm on the first snowy morning of the season; it would have been a morning my grandmother would have been extra worried about us. However, she could not call us this year to check on us...so she found other ways to make sure we knew she was looking out for us. I also fully believe I had been channeling her anxiety for us that day.

I brought home the beautiful artwork & decided to place it appropriately by the tree we put up in my grandmother's memory:

The beautiful artwork now displayed in our home.

The memory tree with grandma's costumed goose & the beautiful Rhapsody Imaging artwork.

The cardinal I got to put on the tree a couple of weeks ago.

I have a plan for displaying our new concave metal art after Christmas...but this is a fitting display for now.

I'm so emotional, yet happy, about that moment with my grandma on Thursday morning. I'm also so thankful that our favorite morning news team & Rhapsody Imaging were a part of it.

What an amazing & blessed Christmas miracle we got to witness.

I miss my grandma. This Christmas will be different. But it doesn't mean she's not with us. She still wants us to know she's watching out for us.

Even if it means leading to sobbing in the Bass Pro & parking lot of Costco.

Amen.

*grabs a tissue*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

** PS - check out the glorious work by Rhapsody Imaging HERE!

AM~Erica Finds a Different Way to Remember

So anyway...

It is that time of year, folks. A time of lights, trees, wrapping paper with lovely ribbons & bows, shiny ornaments, get togethers, mad-dash shopping, baking, cooking, photos, big guy in red, Nativity scenes...
Yep. It's Christmastime. Can you feel it?

As much as we love Christmas in our own house, we've been too stressed out & pulled too many directions to ever really enjoy it the last couple of years. We've had a couple of years where we just were having trouble feeling the season's spirit; having trouble finding the meaning.

Don't get me wrong. We KNOW what it's about! There's no mistaking it. We just couldn't get in tune with it. When things are too rushed, too filled, too much to just be able to breathe it in & focus. Then the time is gone...and we are even more disappointed that it's time to pack everything away & we didn't get to...well...just...be.

I'm not exactly sure what became different this year. It just seemed easier to move into this time of year. It's going to fast...but it felt right.

We changed some things. Our main tree set up is different.

That's right. We have a forest. This was actually a fun & awesome idea from my hubby! The big, main tree is actually a tree we've had for several years, it has been set up for the last 3 years (never taken down) downstairs, and now has it's chance to shine as the main tree! I love how it all turned out.
Oh...and our new North Pole-trained wrapping elves, Elof & Winka, have been hard at work so far!

I have also been wanting to do a Scandinavian-style tree since I started researching TO CELEBRATE LEIF ERICSSON DAY! The more I got looking into the Norse & Norwegian celebrations & customs, I was taken by the simplicity of the God Jul trees. So, I worked it where I could have that in my own home!

We had the old popcorn tins, so I set up a couple tiny trees to hold a few more ornaments. It's still a work in progress, but I'm loving how it's coming out!! Maybe more on this set up when it's all done...

Then, if you remember when my mom & daughter went with me to DECORATE A TREE FOR MARILLAC, I had some ornaments left over. Plus, I'd gotten some clearance ornaments for that tree, but couldn't find them when it came time to go decorate. Well...I found a bunch of what I'd gotten (figures), and so I thought I'd use them for the house. I used another tree we had stored to put downstairs. I began to place the browns & golds on & around the tree. I found a golden bird ornament that seemed to be featured. It has this great feather tail! As I finished up, I thought it needed a little something...so...I remembered I had, at one time, purchased some brown, off white, and deep red feathers for some decorating! So I grabbed them & added them to the tree!

Even though some of the lights are out, I'm so happy with this adorable tree. With some of my mom's prompting, I've decided to call it "Fine Feathered Fantasy." It's quite elegant! The pictures don't do it justice.

We also started a tradition a couple of years ago. Each person in the household draws a number (around Thanksgiving-ish). This is the order each person will choose 2 things: a Christmas movie/special & a holiday treat to pair with it. Everyone joins in! No electronics during this time! We do this about once a week up to Christmas, as scheduling allows. This year, I was up first!

We got this really awesome chalkboard, and I was lost as to what to use it for during Christmastime. One side is our countdown...

...then I decided to use the other side to keep everyone apprised of the next family holiday movie/treat thingy.

For my night, I "made" gingerbread cookies & decorated them!

Then served 'em up with egg nog for night #1 2014 as we settled in to watch "Elf"!

I must tell you that I was not a fan of this movie the first time I saw it. However, the more I watch it, the more I love it! It's beginning to move it's way up the list as a favorite!

Oh! And I'm pretty much the only one who really likes gingerbread! But I found Nestle Tollhouse put out ready-made cookie dough sheets! Really...all you have to do is put your cookie cutters to 'em & bake! And? My family LOVED this version of gingerbread! BOOM! I was happy with how the season started off.

That's a way to get the holidays rolling, for sure! Next up will be Lil Guy's picks:

Looking forward to his turn!

As we prepare for that, there was something else that is different about this year. LOSING MY GRANDMOTHER. Man...all the Christmases in my life included her. Even if we had to shuffle a couple things around, we were always at her house to start the last run of Christmas events. This year...we won't. It won't be at her place, anyway.
Part of what made this time difficult was the fact that my grandmother was to turn 94...yesterday. *sigh*
The last few years, the family would gather to celebrate her birthday, and then as part of her gift, I would put up & decorate her Christmas tree.

My grandmother's tree I decorated, circa 2012

With her birthday being in December, and she loved her red birds (the actual bird, not the baseball team), and with her deep spiritual relationship, I came up with a grouping of decor that included "snow", cardinals (some nesting), and an angel topper for her fiberoptic tree. I called it "Heaven and Nature Sing." She loved looking at her red birds accented by the snow. She loved she could see them even if the lights on the tree weren't on.

This year, that didn't happen. And it won't happen. And it's sad.

In the faux forest of Christmas trees that hubby dreamed up, he thought maybe 4 trees. Ambitious, amm-i-rite? But the last one I saved. I decided that I would decorate it on December 4th. I wanted to add poinsettias to it since it's the flower readily associated with December. I also added 4 jingle bell snowman ornaments to this tree. My grandmother gave each of the kids one several years ago...each snowman has one of their names. And now they hang on the memory December tree in her memory. I will be finding at least one cardinal to place on the tree. I should have it soon...or it wouldn't be right.

Last year when we put up her tree, NBC was airing "Sound of Music Live!" We were watching some of it as we put up the tree, at the time we could gather for her birthday. My Lil Guy had trouble remembering that. Not in the fact of remembering...he was sad remembering it. Last year, we didn't know that would be the last time we would be doing that for her. He's still hurting from her loss, too. However, how fitting that NBC would be airing "Peter Pan Live!" on the night I would be decorating the tree in memory of my grandmother.

As I continue to grieve her absence & as we plan onward, we realize there's so much to do! We've got gatherings to attend, we have Christmas programs to put on. I'm even planning on channeling my grandmother as I attempt to make some candies & cookies this year.

We actually have lights up on our house, too! That hasn't happened for a couple of years, either! And...I've got another tree to put up in the kitchen. Be watching for that!

Ah...yes. That time of year is upon us. And this time, I feel merry & bright! Things will be different. But we are making the most of it! Looking forward to continuing on with our beautiful Advent season. My grandmother would want that happen...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica was Running With a Reason

So anyway...

I realized I haven't done a post since the end of June. A lot of life & chaotic schedules kind of took over July & bled into August. But I thought I'd sum up a few of the things since our last race happened. (reminder HERE)

We went on vacation. We went back to Colorado! We didn't think we'd be able to do a whole lot for vacation this year due to monetary depletion (we did have a GRADUATING SENIOR & such), so we were trying to come up with something on the cheap. It came to our attention that we could use a shared discount on a condo in Colorado, very close to where we stayed last year, for a killer deal! So...we took it! And we spent the week of Independence Day at Lake Dillon. A parade in Breckinridge, a concert & fireworks by the lake, as well as some other things. Like? Mountains.

Ahhhh...mountains! My hubby & I love the mountains. And with us picking up running (reminder on my journey HERE), we were excited to take in the scenery during our runs...as well as the weather.

As we planned our runs in the high elevation, we knew it would be odd breathing as we ran & tried to brace for it. We did run slow & not nearly as far...but running around the lake's dam AND having the mountains around us...during the sunrise...in 50-something degree weather...was magical. I would like to throw in that we were running 3 miles at 9,016 feet...thank you very much.

We had also heard that once we came back down to sea level, our running would increase & be amazing. You know what? It felt amazing to run when we got back! And? I even ran a whole 4 miles shortly after our return home!! CRAZY!!

But then something happened. I felt it. It was a lot like the feeling I had for the week before we lost my grandmother 3 years ago (reminder HERE). I'm in MUCH better shape now, though. And I couldn't breathe on my runs. My last living grandparent, my grandmother who I had so many of you PRAYING FOR last year, had been in not-so-good health. We knew she may be slipping, but I didn't want to believe it. The time was coming that I had been dreading so hard for so long. And I was getting that feeling. I didn't like it. I couldn't even run for a mile & a half because it felt like someone had me pinned down with a steel boot on my chest...even while I was upright.

After a couple of days of this, my concern was heightened for my grandmother. We were being told we should probably see her very soon. I already made up my mind we were going on Monday, July 21st. We would make it work, and that was that. She was not cognizant & was seemingly snoring loudly. The hospice nurse with her was talking about seeming all of my grandmother's CDs & noticed a lot of gospel & hymn themed collections. So...she found an all-hymn station on her iPad, turned on the bluetooth option to play thru my grandmother's TV, and just played hymns for my grandma as her body was failing. The nurse told me she could see my grandma's eyebrows going up and down & her jaw was moving...we guessed she was trying to sing along. The nurse simply said they were enjoying having church. Loved it. We spent a little while there with her, letting her know we were there & letting her know we loved her. It was hard to see her that way...so hard. Then...on Tuesday morning, July 22nd...my dad called to let us know she'd gone. The day I had dreaded for years. Wow...it hurts all over again just putting that back out there...

I was grieving so hard...I had to take some time off running. It hurt to breathe. And it was hard admitting that. My physical grief had taken over & I just turned my focus on helping getting things prepared for her funeral. Which was SO hard. I'd known this woman for 40 of my 24 years. And I wasn't looking forward to the funeral (duh! right? I know...I  know...) because I knew it would be the very last time I would gaze upon her. That may be weird to think about...because it wasn't her...just her shell...but still...the very last time.

After all of that, I knew I needed to start running again. Why? I had race a week later! And hoping I could pull myself together to get thru the 3 miles of the Royals Charities 5k at The K (aka Kauffman Stadium) that even includes running the warning track of the field! So...I got in some distance, a bit easier, and even some hills...
I wasn't even looking to PR (set a Personal Record) this race due to my training set-backs. But I wanted to run for my grandma, and someone brought up wearing an angel pin during the race. She had so many angel pins, I could have quite a pick. I also decided to write her name on my arm...and then to just go have fun. Especially since I probably wasn't gonna PR anyway...

My hubby was running, as well as my friend Beqi (who also ran our last race)...and our encourager from our last race, Rob, ran this one, too!

And...Holi Stromboli! My hubby is a stud & PR'd in a HUGE way!! He was a RockStar!! And...AND?? I totally PR'd, too!! You wanna know what else? Well, I'm gonna tell ya anyway. I decided I would pose for the camera. Especially since I "wasn't gonna PR". LOL!

That's right...I finished the race by doing a grande jete' over the finish line...as a dancer/runner should.

Also, I came in 508th over all of 1500+ racers, 23rd in my division. HUGE!!

Then, in the time since then, we've gone to Chiefs' training camp and been getting the kiddos ready for school. Also...I haven't lost any weight, but it's been redistributed & I'm down a dress size.

We now are getting Teen Girl ready for college...and then another race.

I've picked up my training & getting ready to do the Blacklight Run in a couple of weeks...the first race I ever registered for. Ever!

Mourning my grandmother's passing while coming across so many reminders, and also continuing training...so many changes gone thru & still to come. It's been a lot. But still going...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica