AM~Erica Doesn't Need All That Stuff

So anyway...

Yesterday seemed to be a big deal to a lot of folk out there. Whether you are one who is in a relationship & was hoping to get or forced to give hearts, cards, flowers, expensive dinner, jewelry...whatever the case...or whether you are the person NOT in a relationship & is dealing with everyone else is getting or being forced to give hearts, cards, flowers, expensive dinner, jewelry...whatever the case...you are dealing with February 14th.

Here's my question for you: why does it matter? Seriously! WHY?

I think I have become bothered, over the years, that February 14th is the one main day out of the year to be showered with love & major affection. Just the mere expectations become a competition! The receiver of such "affections" want to show it off to others...and sometimes gets let down when someone else may have gotten something bigger, better, shinier, more expensive...

UGH!!!

There is an unbelievable frenzy that breaks out on Valentine's Day! It's stressful!

OK, OK...I confess...I do celebrate with my hubby. Well..............kinda....

It was 18 years ago, on February 14th, that my hubby & I fell into a holiday trap: we got engaged on Valentine's Day. But I'm not talking that down! We were young & in love. We were caught up in the whirlwind of the idea behind what Valentine's Day has come to be known as in this day & age.

But, with all the stress & over-the-top tokens to proclaim love for one another...well...it just wasn't enough! We show love to each other ALL OF THE TIME! With tokens & actions, we find our continued love in our everyday lives. That's right...the beauty in the mundane.

So, we don't need no stinkin' Valentine's Day! We do, however, celebrate the anniversary of our Engagement Day. (previous post on it HERE)

We make a big deal about certain milestones in our lives: we celebrate the anniversary of the day we met, we celebrate the anniversary of our first date, we celebrate the day we got engaged, we celebrate our anniversary. These are important connections thru our relationship journey!

Just because we got engaged on February 14th, it doesn't mean I need a $100 bouquet of roses that will wither & die, a $20-30 mylar balloon that will deflate, I don't need a heart-shaped box of chocolates...but I will certainly take the chocolate. I really don't need a card with chintzy hearts all over it. No stuffed animals, no expensive dinner, no blingy jewelry (the only one that mattered was when I said yes to my Prince Charming)...
Just spending time with him & reminiscing while continuing to dream of our future is the most romantic thing!

I'm about to tick off some businesses (i.e., florists, Hallmark, restaurants, jewelers, super stores & drug stores) when I urge you to think about the stress of Valentine's Day! Is it about the gifts & money spent? Or is it about the romance of the attention? And...why do we have to have the pressure of just that one day?

My hubby & I have "a place". We go there for our milestone things. If we weren't engaged on Valentine's Day...I'm not sure we would work going there on that day. Maybe it's life that has set in to open our eyes to the fact that Valentine's Day is so over-blown! We work going out for lunch (like this year) because we have kiddos who have schedules & lives that don't care that it's Valentine's Day, either! So we spread it out. We did it last year, too. Just going out for coffee was fine by us. It's about the time spent together...not the gifts! 

 As a Disney Princess (a reminder HERE), I love that my Prince Charming & I can see past the big show to know that our love is deeper than the biggest bouquet & biggest heart-box of chocolates on the same day that so many others are getting the SAME kind of thing! 

We prefer to share our quiet moments together, in our palace, while the kingdom goes about in madness of raised expectations. In our eyes, it's not about the size of the show, but of the show of affection...FROM THE HEART! It's different for everyone!  Just like each person's individual personality, style, wants & needs...that's how our relationships should be treated. If you are a simple person & then want to be lavished with a lot of expensive gifts just because it's Valentine's Day...and that's not how it is any other time...you might want to stop & reexamine that thought. 

Plus...I question as to why there should be an insane & near-impossible scavenger obstacle course to get these "sentimental tokens of affection." The retailers KNOW what is up! And they will price gauge your pockets out by inflating the prices of things to huge numbers! A $20 bouquet of roses does become a $100 expenditure around Valentine's Day. Heck, even restaurants have "specials" that are actually more expensive than usual on Valentine's Day. Our favorite restaurant even said, as they gave their specials, that they had at least a $1 markup of things because of the holiday! *face palm* 

Schools still give Valentine parties...and it amounts to some cards being handed out & eating some heart-shaped candy, chocolate, red or pink-colored candy, drinking pink punch or red Kool-aide...and that's about it. As much as I loved, Loved, LOVED making Valentine boxes back in the day...what has it really become except for niceties? These are kids, people! CHILDREN!

*ahem*

OK...here's what I'm saying: If you are looking for affections to be lavish & expensive just because it's Valentine's Day...you might need to reassess your relationship. I'm not talking about those who get engaged or married on that day. Good for you! But is it JUST because it's Valentine's Day? And how do you celebrate it afterward? As an anniversary or Valentine's Day? If you have to have the outward show to prove your significant other's love for you...uh...you're doing it wrong.

There are many ways to show love! They aren't always big proclamations! It's fixing coffee for your love to make sure it's done before they walk out in the morning; it's sharing the couch while the kids are in the room with you...just holding hands; it's sharing your thoughts with each other that, hopefully, includes your dreams for your future together; it's reminiscing about your past & seeing how far you've come...

I have seen this illustration several times...but in great timing...
...as I wrote this blog, one of my favorite FB pages & blogs, Snarky in the Suburbs, had this posted!

Can you be extravagant with each other from time-to-time? Sure! There's anniversaries & birthdays to cover some that...or no reason at all. The pressures of being forced to show love in a spectacle is a bit over-rated.

Grow what's deeper, first. The harvest will be greater. It will show thru if it's constantly taken care of...even if it may not appear as a lot on the outside...it's what's being grown on a deeper level.

My hubby & I don't get to spend a lot of time together out in public...however, people always tell us they can see how in love we are. It's starts at home. It starts by planting the seed & allowing it to grow. You aren't going to plant one seed & expect an entire garden harvest next week.

Just some deep thoughts from a princess still in love...thru the mundane...

A simple glance across the kitchen table at breakfast or dinner, just walking up behind your mate to give them a comforting hug; just a kiss before you leave each other's presence & an "I Love You", no matter if you mad at each other or not; just hold hands while you sit on the couch watching the news; a simple compliment on you really like that shirt on them...

Because there are singles out there who don't get this...whether it's by a failed relationship, someone they want to be with, or by forever losing their one-true-love: death, affairs, they fell out of love with you...and it's heartbreaking to have this rubbed into them, too.

How are you treating the look of love? As something very real...or a total charade to make it look like things are great...even if they aren't?

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Has an Odd Romantic Moment

 So anyway...

Recently, my family went on vacation to Colorado. I have been teetering back-&-forth as to whether or not to share some of our adventures here like I did when WE WENT TO SEATTLE. So it might still happen...but I had to share a particular moment!

OK...just take note that my hubby & I found it very romantic for us...but there will be several of you shaking your heads, wondering what's wrong with us, be confused, or just laugh in amusement. Trust me: we understand all of these reactions. But it was great for us & that's all that matters! Each to their own, amm-i-rite? (Keep in mind the REDDIT PROPOSAL that worked for that couple...it's not for everyone, but it was great for them. OK?)

As we were planning our trip to Colorado, we built it around some amazing lodging that we found in Keystone. So that's the route we went in the family vacay planning. And in the planning stages, we realized we were fairly close to Breckenridge...which we've heard so much about!

I've been to Colorado 3 other times in my life. Breckenridge was not part of any of those trips, so I was stoked to check it out.

During this time, I was taking part in a summer photography challenge from my friend, David, thru his photography business HIPSTABEAR PHOTOGRAPHY. It was almost like a scavenger hunt to try to get great shots of any or as many of the 100 possible topics given. Since we were getting ready to travel, I wanted to plan ahead to see if I could try to get any of these while in Colorado.
One of the shots being asked for was a building location where a movie had been filmed. So I started doing some research as to movies that were possibly filmed in Colorado to see if I could pin down a location or two. And guess what! GUESS WHAT-GUESS WHAT-GUESS WHAT!!! I could not have been more ridiculously excited than to come across a particular movie that had apparently been filmed in Breckenridge!!

Folks, Breckenridge had been filmed as Fake Aspen. And in Fake Aspen is where a few shots of an important movie in hubby's & my relationship happened to be filmed. But I had to pinpoint the spot! And it took ridiculous study of movie stills to find the right spot. But we found it! And it was one of the most exciting moments for me in all of our Colorado trip!!

Do you recognize it? It's where Harry & Lloyd went to Aspen!

Wait...did you ask who Harry & Lloyd are? Let me refresh your brains for a moment:

Yes!! It's from the movie, "Dumb & Dumber"!

"...He must work out..."

Wait...are you scratching your heads? Shaking them?? Again, allow me to refresh your memory...or introduce you as to why this movie is considered so romantic to us. It's a part of our MODERN DAY FAIRY TALE.

So we had a full-circle moment that meant a lot to us. And in a beautiful area, I might add...
And when we go back (yes...I said 'WHEN'), we may very well stay in the very romantic & beautiful Fake Aspen!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Liked it & Put a Lock on It

So anyway...

A couple of days ago just happened to be Valentine's Day. Even though it's not as big a deal to me, my hubby & I do fall into the trap a bit since we still CELEBRATE OUR ENGAGEMENT ANNIVERSARY. That part is a big deal to us!

We are, also, very busy in our lives. Other things do get in the way...like kiddos. Don't get me wrong, hubby & I do try very hard to make time for each other. That is absolutely important in any relationship! But there are times when things like basketball practice just tend to fall on a particular holiday like that. Plus, hubby coaches the team...so...that's how it goes.

But we didn't fret. We knew things would be crazy-busy out there on the fabricated holiday. We would still take in dinner or coffee to commemorate our engagement anniversary, but it was too difficult this year. Which we were fine with. We could go out the following night & still be OK.

There has been something on an INSPIRED BUCKET LIST OF MINE that I had forgotten about until recently...so it was only in my head for a while. It's the whole Love Padlock thingy. I knew tourists did it on a bridge in Paris, France...but it did apparently begin in Italy. It, then, took hold in many other places (mostly bridges) around the world.

Here's what goes down:
Two people (more than likely as a couple) will get a simple padlock & will write their names, a date &/or a message on the padlock (one with a key, not a combination lock). They would, then, take the decorated padlock to a bridge with a fence, attach & lock it, then throw the key into the body water underneath. This is done to symbolize an everlasting bond, and the key will be lost so that the lock cannot be undone. It's a beautiful & sweet gesture, don'cha think?

Unfortunately for many of these bonds...they end up torn apart anyway. Why? Well, it's not for the reason you may be thinking...

See, there are so many locks on these bridges that it begins to block the view of water & weighs down the fencing. What happens is the fact that the city will have or hire someone to cut the locks off. Such an endearing gesture between 2 people is ruthlessly taken away. I guess it's fine in the moment of the lock going on, but how sad to go back to find your lock & remember...just to find out it has been removed anyway.

Just a couple of years ago, we were told of a restaurant close to us that we just NEEDED to try! It's on the historic square of the town we live in. We were given the chance to try it out. You know what? We loved it! It's a quaint & old-world style Italian place. A touch on the pricey side, but not over-the-top.

This is the place I brought up when I was REMEMBERING THE ROMANCE WITH MY PRINCE CHARMING. It was, and remains to be, our new place since our former fave closed so long ago.

It was interesting earlier this week...we were watching a news cast as they did a story about some kind of Valentine cuisine of sorts. I don't remember if it was about dinners or desserts or both...
...no matter, I noticed as the person they interviewed was sitting in a booth, the background looked oh-so-familiar. I asked my hubby, "Is that Cafe' Verona? Because that totally looks like Cafe' Verona." He tilted his head & said it might be...and then the guy's name came on the screen - it was accompanied with the restaurant he was with: Cafe' Verona! I knew it!

At the end part of the story, the reporter talked about the gates on the front of the eatery. She brought up the practice of Love Padlocks in other parts of the country (ringing a bell here, folks?). She had a sharpie with her & wrote on a padlock her name, her hubby's name & how long they'd been together. She then placed it & locked it onto the gates of our favorite "our place." I never remembered seeing locks on there before, but had never paid attention to that part...

For our Engagement Anniversary, I got a gift certificate for us to use for dinner at Cafe' Verona. As I entered into the restaurant, I did notice a few locks. Awwwww...!!!
I also got padlock, then had it engraved with our names & a special word we have used with each other for years! It's a hardcore, heavy duty Brinks padlock, too. (I know this information because the engraver at Things Remembered pointed it out.) When we said "forever", it was meant! (Just as I responded the engraver at Things Remembered.)

I also took the liberty of making reservations for us there, too. That's right...RESERVATIONS, people! Fan-Cy! Amm-i-rite? So, at around 6:30 last night, we got to celebrate the anniversary of our engagement! Plus, we took the padlock, too. We enjoyed a fantastic dinner & some antioxidant-fortified Jesus water with our meal...then we made our mark as we left our favorite romantic establishment for the night:

Our engraved lock after we put it on the gates...
One side was engraved with our names & a double heart between them;
the other side was engraved with "SHMILY" (See How Much I Love You)

As we stood out there & took the pics, a woman came outside for a smoke. She saw us taking pictures of our newly-attached padlock & commented on it. She asked if we had just done it. Apparently she & her man had just attached theirs, too. And we got into a discussion about the padlock practice & how glad we were that a place like Cafe' Verona gives you the opportunity to take part in a practice that is being denied or banned in other parts of the world.
Plus, she was impressed by the engraving. And we had a discussion about "SHMILY".

So...as if our exchange of vows of forever almost 17 years ago wasn't enough...it's now totally locked in at Cafe' Verona. I can officially mark that off the bucket list!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Continues to Make a Statement

So anyway...

How did we all do on Monday raising Suicide Awareness? Did you wear yellow? Have you written "LOVE" on your wrist? I know that several of you have. I will be making a wrist montage to share soon. Thank you to all who sent your support & shared with me.

But here's a reminder: The week isn't over. This is SUICIDE AWARENESS WEEK. Even though Monday was Suicide Prevention Awareness Day, it needs to keep going. I have been writing "LOVE" on my wrist everyday. And I got thinking...I need to wear a shirt. We must stay loud & get louder with the awareness...so I made 2 shirts. Let me share with you my step-by-step process.

1. Here's my inspiration:

2. I purchased 2 yellow tshirts (just because they were perfect & on clearance):

3. I got out fabric paint (black & red...like the writing on my wrist), a pencil, paint sponge & paper towel.

4. I begin by figuring where I want my design on the shirt & then pencil it on.

5. Then begin tracing with the fabric paint then smudge with the paint sponge. I suggest focusing on 1 letter at a time:

6. Then use the 2nd color & smudge, like step 5.

7. Once done, let dry.

8. Then toss in the dryer on high for about 20-30 minutes to let the paint set better

* NO PIC FROM INSIDE DRYER *

9. Then wear to support the cause.

Always remember that you are worth something. Fox 4 in KC lost Don Harmon in November 2011 to suicide. They now have a depression campaign called "You Matter." I think it's very important.

So the rest of this week, please keep showing your support. From someone who's suicide attempt failed, there is more to live for. Really.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is Wearing Yellow

So anyway...

I made an observation not too long ago. It had to do with the color yellow in songs I've heard over the years. The color, itself, is usually bright & cheery with a lot of energy. Am I right? Yet the songs containing the color seem to be very chill & mellow. Generally, though, the songs & the color tend to be very memorable & leave you very happy.

That's why I think it's a good color to wear today & thru this week. See, today, September 10th,  is World Suicide Awareness Day...and the awareness continues thru this week. It has been raised since there have been so many more in the last few years. Most of the awareness has come from the bullying and NOH8 movements, which I also FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT, and it generally surrounds the LGBT community. But these movements truly transcend just that community. And the suicide rates have also jumped with the low economy including the loss of jobs & self confidence. There is so much more behind some of these people doing so. A black & dark cloud of evil just swallows you. It really does appear to be no way out. People with forms of depression & some mental illness fight this a lot. There's those who attempt suicide & fail...and...the ones who sadly succeed. That is one success I would hope we never truly want to achieve.

When I talked about Mother's Day, I shared a bit of my battle with depression, and COVERED IT A BIT MORE since then.

With this week being Suicide Awareness Week, I thought I'd kick off the week with another  confession about myself: I survived my own attempt. Only a tiny few know about this until right now. Shocked?

I went thru a rough time in high school. I was a horrible teenager. But I had dark things going on that even I didn't know about. Dates & years of the stuff that happened are gone from my head, but I remember them happening. One of those times was my suicide attempt.

Let me just say that I am a wuss. I'm not kidding. So, I didn't want to physically harm myself. So...I decided to overdose on whatever I could find. With one can of Coca Cola, I took a pill with every drink or two. It's a blur in my mind, but I remember asprin being part of the mix, I couldn't tell you the rest. I literally took at least one of everything I could find in the house. And I had enough medication to last me thru the whole can of Coke. I was hoping I could just lay down after that & let the messed-up-mixture take effect & just take me. Instead, I was vomiting for 2 days straight. I missed school because of it, but I didn't reach the ultimate goal I was truly striving for. I failed...luckily.

Looking where I'm at now, I realize there were things ahead of me that I had to finish. Like my husband & children. They never would have come about if I'd succeeded in such an awful action. My hubby may never have answered God's call to ministry if I had not been there to help him answer it. (Side Note: He's a darn good preacher, too! That's not just biased opinion either. Come check out his anointed messages sometime, especially if you haven't already.) And? There are many of you I would never have gotten to meet or know. It's amazing having each of you in my life, no matter how you made it here into my craziness.

Another part of the suicide prevention for the LGBT community is "It Gets Better." Well, again, that can be said across the board. It might seem like it won't...but it will. Keep going...there is a light. My life is crazy, it's trying, and it's GOOD!

It's always good to know there is a support system for you. And you have one. I'm glad I do since I still struggle with the thoughts sometimes. I know where I failed & I know how I would do it "next time"...I can visualize it & feel it when I'm so down. But my plan is that there won't be a "next time". As I am putting this out for all to read, I don't want to succeed in taking my own life. I have a lot to plan for & move forward with that includes family & friends.

Thus far, I have been totally quiet about my "past". Like I said, such a tiny few knew about my attempt...maybe 2 or 3 people. It's not something I just work into conversation. Even with a couple of other friends that I know who have tried to take their own lives...I talk them thru it without ever revealing the idea that I truly understand.

It's also a reason that I get heartbroken & frustrated with flippant "jokes" telling someone to kill themselves. It's crass. I'm sure that's the point...but there really are people who take that to heart. Suicide is one of the subjects I feel should never work its way into a joking & light-hearted manner. There is nothing light-hearted about the heaviness of the world on the shoulders of the one with those thoughts of taking their own life.

Today is World Suicide Awareness Day. You are asked to wear yellow &/or write "LOVE" on your wrist to raise awareness that we are all beautiful & that there is a light in every one of us. Since it is a whole awareness week, and if you missed it today...please participate at some point this week. You are now aware that you know someone who attempted...but did not succeed. Luckily. In this sense, it's good to be a failure.

Join me. Whether you view the color yellow as bright, electric & cheery, or if you see it as laid-back, easy-breezy & mellow...it's loved & memorable. So are you.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica