AM~Erica's Search for the Manger

So anyway...

It's Christmastime. Not sure if you've figured that out yet or not, but here we are. And, per the usual, it has felt extremely hectic. The time I have allotted to get stuff done has seemed to loosen from my grasp as other schedules have worked their way into mine.

Figures.

I'm in one of those places where I keep trying to find Christmas in the chaos.

All of a sudden, I feel like a ton of typical Christmas specials at once!

As we are entering the last week to get to Christmas, I think about a particular search of that special something I was hunting a few years ago:

...a manger.

I was to do one of my dances for Christmas Eve. I felt called to do "Mary Did You Know?" to dance to. I informed my daughter she would dance with me - no, I didn't give her the option. This duet would be the Angel showing Mary about the amazingness her Son would possess. Since I wanted the dance to begin Mary sitting at the manger with her newborn son, I needed the manger at the church to be put out there.

I went searching...

I looked high.
I looked low.
I looked over.
I looked under.
I looked through.
I looked around.
I looked behind.
I looked between.

No matter where I looked, I couldn't find the manger!

So I asked around.

I asked the children's ministry director.
I asked the ushers.
I asked staff.
I asked those who had been on staff for a long time.
I asked those who had helped with the children's play for a long time.
I asked those who had volunteered for a long time.

No one seemed to know where to find that manger!

Time was ticking closer to Christmas Eve services and doing that dance...and I still couldn't find that manger.

Oh, there were speculations of where it might be, but there was nothing definitive; there was no proof. The manger just...wasn't...there...

My daughter & I still worked on the dance while pretending the manger was there, still holding out hope we'd find it; I was holding out hope I would find it.

Christmas Eve came, and my daughter & I were ready for the dance, outfits ready, and we knew what to do. There was one thing missing from that dance: the manger.

I had to do what I felt I needed to - I improvised. I found a stand-in for the manger. A decent-sized basket would just have make do. A pretend manger for the plastic newborn King.

It wasn't the same. I didn't find the manger. I had to fake a manger. I had to pretend a basket was the same thing. It wasn't. It wasn't.

I had to shrug the whole thing off as an "oh well" moment. 

One of people I had asked counsel on for the manger is also a good friend. He has a way of finding a different perspective on situations. He lightheartedly said, "Huh! This sounds like it could be a Christmas movie for Lifetime, 'In Search of the Manger.' You know, the focus is on searching for a physical manger, and it turns out the manger was there all along..."

For a very long time, one of the ushers would ask me if I found the manger every chance he could get. I was actually pretty irritated thinking about never finding the manger, and I kept getting reminded.

After I stopped wondering where that manger went, it turned out it was tucked away in the church's attic - a place many people didn't realize they should look.

That's right - the manger was tucked in a secluded corner, just within reach, among the dust, the dirt, the clutter.

Pretty fitting.

I still think of that story from time-to-time. The search for that manger...

Here we are, a week from Christmas, and I'm caught in a whirlwind of Christmas chaos while trying to find that moment of Christmas. Trying to find that moment I keep searching for while the time keeps slipping off elsewhere...

Yesterday was our first "big snow." OK, it wasn't big, per se, but it was messy, it was cold. We stayed inside the best we could. A quiet moment in the chaos, sure. But it wasn't getting me to the point I felt I needed to be in for Christmas.

Due to some of the wintery mess & crazy-cold temperatures, many churches in the area closed this morning. Ours was not one of them. We were hoping roads would be OK enough for my poor car to get there. I wanted to be at church. My husband would be giving a message that I probably needed a reminder of, as he preached the 4th Advent sermon in his "Channel Surfing Christmas" series. You know, using several Christmas shows to make a point how the Christmas story is still relevant.

As I went into the kitchen, something caught my eye:

See that? Yeah, I did a double-take, too. I noticed a free-standing manger right outside my kitchen window. It was right there!

OK, after a little bit, and when the shock wore off, I did realize it was a play table in our neighbor's yard. It was just perfectly placed & covered in snow.

And it hit me: there's the manger! I've looked so hard for it, I didn't realize it's right there in front of me. Seemingly unattainable, out of reach, and looking everywhere for it except where it truly is. Right there. And not in the form I had ever expected.

When I do my Advent dance to "Prepare a Place," there is a line that I need to remember:

Set time aside, and be quiet, as you wait for the coming One.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

Yesterday was mostly a quiet day. Focus on here & now; waiting & anticipating the celebrating of Jesus' birth. Time was set aside in the cold, bleak weather of December. And I woke up to the manger.

Christ is coming, my friends.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Had a Dickens of an Evening: Round 2

So anyway...

Last year, I discovered an incredible opportunity for the family to take part in. I was thrilled to be able to take in 'A Christmas Carol' one-man show as performed by, Gerald Dickens (the great-great grandson of Charles Dickens). IT WAS AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE!

I knew it had to be good when even the youngest (who I thought had tuned out) was talking about how good the performance was, and that Gerald was funny!

We get talking about holidays pretty early around here. When we talked about stuff to do to enjoy the fall & Christmas seasons, I remembered Gerald. I did a quick search to see if he might be returning this year. As it turned out, he WAS! YAY! So, we talked to the kids to see if it was something they wanted to do again. They were all in! So, on an early September day, I was signing up the family to go see Gerald Dickens for a second year in a row.

Well, tonight was that night. I got ready to go in some 50's style Christmasy attire. I thought about wearing some of my Victorian-inspired/steampunk type costuming, but I backed off this time. The rest of the family was ready to go. And off we went!

The parking lot was already pretty full. But we found a decent spot & worked our way in. We surveyed the room & decided to find our seats before taking in the refreshments set up in the back of the John Knox Pavilion.

On the way to find seats, I realized Captain Jack of Captain Jack's Steampunk Irregulars was in attendance! (He was at our AFSP Out of the Darkness Walk in October!) We greeted each other, as I think I may have looked familiar - even if I wasn't in a tutu.

During the Out of the Darkness walk for AFSP of KC

Then I got thinking that maybe I should have costumed myself a bit more Victorian.
Hmmm...maybe another time.

After we found some seats a little closer to the back, but still in the middle aisle, we sent the kids to the long line awaiting refreshment. My hubby & I were discussing the surroundings. One thing we realized was that we were sitting in nearly the same spot as last year. Interesting.

In the distance, I noticed my high school speech coach was there in attendance quite a bit closer to the stage than where we were camped out, so I couldn't get over to him. (Hi, Mr. Martin! *WAVES*) And we were enjoying the background sounds of the live Dickens-style choir being quite entertaining. The kids were still in the long line, so I approached them to have them just fix up some hot chocolate for their parents - OK, I asked for a hot chocolate/coffee combo.

Waiting on our refreshment from the kiddos before the show

The wonderful carolers before the show

Settled & waiting for the show to start!

The kids made it back with refreshment in the most adorable cups! We may need to find some...

Even though either the hot chocolate or the coffee was incredibly watered down, I still took in the drink while we waited for the performance to start.

One of the hosts approached the stage to give us a rundown of some housekeeping items, and then the official introduction of Gerald! YAY!

The familiar start of Trans-Siberian Orchestra's 'Christmas Eve Sarajevo' started as people were slowly taking their seats. C'mon, people! The show's starting!

After the performance last year, I went & found a copy of 'A Christmas Carol' to read again. It had been too many years! Not only was the purchase inspired by the performance, but I began to ponder the 1st spirit. I needed to know how that ghost was originally depicted!
I found that out, got to read the fully manuscript, see some wonderful illustrations, and was enlightened, once again, to the wonderful story.

The performance went on delightfully. Even with the extra talking, phone notifications going on (c'mon - who set their alarm to go off at the beginning of the show?) & some ringing, people just getting up & wandering around at odd times. Or how about the bus that showed up about 5 minutes before the show ended to pick up some of the older folks? They couldn't stay until the end?

Even with the extra distractions, Gerald, once again, gave an amazing telling of his great-great grandfather's storytelling! Again, every character was distinct, the energy was outstanding, and the emotions & expressions were fantastic! We were amazed by how flawless the show seemed to move, even with all the distractions. We are a theater family, so we understand the difficulty to keep things moving when you worked so hard to put it together, and others are attending, but paying no attention. We get it! We were embarrassed FOR the offenders. They really had no idea what they were there to witness!

Last year, there was no announcement of any meet & greet - so we left. Tonight was different. There would be a meet & greet afterward! There were souvenir programs being sold to have signed, but I had something different in mind: if he was going to sign things this time, I was bringing the book!

After a well-deserved standing ovation, we made our way to the back to decide if we were sticking around or not. After some himming & hawwing, we decided to get in line. It was just my daughter & I. The boys wanted no part of the line or the crowd.

While we stood there, and after some sweet geriatric parades went through the line to get to where they needed to be, Gerald made his way back out, slightly refreshed from surely a draining performance. He was kind enough to leave his beautiful costuming on. Probably for those of us who wanted photos, too.

As the line moved, my daughter & I were approached by a lady in front of us wanting to know if we'd take a group picture of the few in front of us. We were kind & agreed. She then started looking at my book & became greatly envious of it! She snatched it from my hand & demanded to know where I found it! Apparently I'm a "stinkpot" for finding the book a year ago & having the foresight to get it. Then another gal from the group asked if we'd also take a pic of just her with Gerald. Somehow I became the photographer for a group of folks I didn't even know.

It was time for the group to approach the table, and I prepared to take their set of photos as they had about 8 copies of 'A Christmas Carol' to have autographed.

In this time, my sons decided to join my daughter & me in line - they now wanted to meet the man, too. My hubby still wanted no part of it, even though he's thoroughly impressed with Mr. Dickens.

Finally the group posed with Gerald, and I snapped a couple of shots for the group; then I snapped a couple of shots with the one lady who wanted her own personal documentation.

Now, we were up!

We greeted a smiling Gerald, who was quite personable, and I handed my book to him.

He seemed genuinely delighted by it. He flipped through the golden-trimmed pages & noted it seemed to be a facsimile of the original manuscript. He even found some of the illustrations & pointed out how each one was originally colored by hand in that time.

The book cover was then opened at the front, and flipped to the title page. Ah! The autograph went right there, and was even dated!

We wanted a photo with him, too, of course. My daughter grabbed a guy close by to see if he'd be so kind to take a pic or two. Apparently there was a designated picture-taker, but she kept roaming when a photo was needed.
The kiddos & I gathered around the other side of the table with Gerald Dickens & put on our best smiles. Even the boys! They usually duck & try to stay out of photos. This is a BIG deal!

I thanked him for blogging. It's interesting to get the performer's point of view with each show. And I wondered what he was thinking of this crowd as he performed. He seemed surprised I read his blog, and then thanked me. I let him know I blogged about his performance last year, too. He seemed to remember! We went on our way as he bid us an aidue with, "See you next year!"

He was wonderful & generous with his time. A great moment for the kiddos, too.

We then headed home. Again, we beamed about the show! Although, my hubby had a hard time getting into it fully only due to the extra distractions, but we were all still thoroughly entertained!

Also, we might have to make this a tradition. I hope so. Even though it's free to the crowd, this is a wonderful event to attend! Seriously!

So, we are home, and this "stinkpot" plans on placing our signed copy of 'A Christmas Carol' prominently upon our shelves with our other decor in our first Christmas at our Believe Inn.

A great way to begin our Christmas season! You should think about taking it in, too.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Enjoys the Dickens Out of the Evening

So anyway...

It's been a while since I've shared anything here. It's been just that crazy!

And there were so many things I wanted to talk about:

* I wanted to share about how our Halloween went.

Today is not that day.

* I wanted to share about our hometown Royals winning it all!

Today is not that day.

* I wanted to share about how I didn't make the parade.

Today is not that day.

* I wanted to share about our decorating for Christmas.

Today is not that day.

Instead, I want to jump ahead to something that I'm so glad we got to take in. No, it's not yet Thanksgiving, and there are only very few things tied to Christmas I'm willing to do ahead of time.

One of the things is decorating. We do get a large part of our decorating up before Thanksgiving. We have people over that day, so we like to be festive. Plus, it allows us to enjoy the sights, within our walls, a little bit longer.

Another thing is taking in the Enchanted Forest/Festival of Trees. This has been shifted around for years, now. My mom & I (and eventually Teen Girl) have taken in almost every year of it since its inception. Starting at Longview Farms, it shifted to Union Station, then quite recently to the Overland Park Convention Center to be a part of the Holiday Boutique. The weekends have shifted around in the past 20+ years, but we've attended all but two of the years. We even decorated trees on two of the years...

REMINDER HERE

...then this year changed. Marillac was no longer sponsoring the trees. So we figured it wouldn't take place. To our shock, the Festival of Trees would still be part of the Holiday Boutique, just taken over by a different organization. And it took place on yet another weekend. My point is that we take in the trees BEFORE Thanksgiving. As for our experience of this most recent outing...

Today is not that day.

There's several Christmas tree lighting ceremonies that happen a week or so before Thanksgiving, too. We tried to take in one of those events a few years ago. We weren't overly impressed.

Then...something different came up. It was something we needed to take in right now if we were going to do it. I came across an opportunity to kick off the Christmas season in an interesting way. And since it was a traveling event, it was now or never!

This particular event was a one-man-show. A storytelling event by a man who was retelling a very popular Christmas tale. It's the tale where the term "Merry Christmas" is used and made it's way into the present commonplace as a greeting highly popular & cultural greeting of choice.

Sir Patrick Stewart does a one-man show of this, even after appearing as Ebenezer Scrooge in one of the many, many film adaptations of it. Our own KC Repertory Theater (aka - The Rep) puts on a stage version every year around this time.

Yes, the beloved story is of "A Christmas Carol." The story of the turning of the heart in Mr. Scrooge during an early Victorian Christmas setting, as told by a now-iconic, and world-renowned storytelling novelist, Charles Dickens. (or as referred to in Raul Dahl's 'Matilda' - "Darles Chickens")

We watch different film adaptations every year on our TV. My hubby has even preached on it for Advent! So what made me get excited about this opportunity to hear this story, yet again, trying to catch this traveling one-man-show of a story we can catch so many times throughout the season?

I was watching the morning news, like I do, on Monday morning. I had gotten the boys off to school, and it was time for me to finish enjoying my coffee before getting ready for the day. Something caught my attention for one of the segments! First, it was theatrical. Uh...Hello? Theater totally speaks to me, if you didn't already know. (This shouldn't shock anyone.) Plus, this distinguished looking gentleman was on my screen. Maybe he seemed distinguished since he looked all proper-like in his very Victorian suit costume. But as the information was pouring from the TV set, I was listening with amazement about the guy who was to do this one-man-show of "A Christmas Carol!"

His name is Gerald Dickens.

Is it a name that sounds familiar? Well it should. Especially when tied to the story he was telling. See, Gerald has some lineage to the author. The one-man-show of the beloved Christmas tale would be performed by the great-great grandson of Charles Dickens!

Our Mid-Continent Libraries were awesome enough to host this gig. He performed in a few places, but it would the be performance on the following night that would be best worked for us. If we could go...of course.

After looking at our schedules, and seeing we could afford to go (it was FREE, people!), and running it by the kiddos (2 of the 3 children were stoked to go), we got ourselves together to head to the performance.

Most of our family are into theater. There's me (of course), my hubby, Teen Girl (it's kind of her passion), and Teen Boy (who just finished a stint as Lt. Brannigan & the voice of Joey Biltmore in his high school production of "Guys and Dolls"). Lil Guy, though filled with so much talent, hasn't quite built his love for theater just yet. He enjoys some, but not his first choice to jump on if the opportunity arises. We're working on him.
With that said, my hubby definitely saw it as an interesting opportunity. My teenagers about came unglued when they found out who was doing the storytelling of THIS story! The youngest swore he didn't want to go, but we informed him he had no choice.

When we got to the venue, there were several folks already there. There was coffee & hot chocolate with cookies being served at the back. We found seats & then took turns to get some toasty refreshment before things got started.

At exactly 7:00 PM, the very beginning of Transiberian Orchestra's "Christmas Eve Sarajevo" began to play (I know this song very well - I choreographed a dance to it, of course) and a man slowly made his way onto the stage; as the music is supposed to change to a strong tone, a bell toll came instead, prompting the gentleman to stop center stage to begin the telling of the tale.

There's a setting of a leather-looking wingback chair, a coatrack, and a stool. Each of these things are used throughout Gerald's flowing between each character. You always know which character he becomes in any given moment! He has his own little narratives in there, too. I love the little additions from the storyteller's point of view.

Not taken from the performance we attended, but a photo of Gerald Dickens
in the midst of his storytelling.

Again, not from the show we attended, but more in his storytelling mode.

Once in a while, I look on either side of me. I want my family to not regret me nearly forcing them into another weird idea of mine. As I look, I see my hubby (who is often critical of performance) smiling & fully enjoying it; both of my teenagers seem riveted & into it (even if Teen Girl couldn't TOTALLY stay off her phone - ugh); then I check out Lil Guy who seems completely tuned out & disinterested. Once in a while he will laugh at really fun & wonderfully silly parts, but just didn't seem to grasp the whole thing. Ah well...he'll remember back to this years down the road. I'm sure of it!

With some fun additions in the acting, and some fun audience interaction, we joined in the well-deserved standing ovation given to Mr. Dickens as he wished everyone a Merry Christmas.

As we left, there was ne'er a negative word spoken about the evening! My hubby gave glowing reviews (which is very difficult to get from him, by the way), my teenagers were enthralled with what they got to witness, and then there was Lil Guy. He's the one who wasn't so into it. Right? But then he said, "I know it didn't seem like I was really paying attention, but he was really good! And he was funny."

BOOM!

I thoroughly enjoyed it! And what an awesome way to begin the season! A bit of Dickens' storytelling. Take that as you will.

And, if you ever get the chance to see Gerald do his one-man-show of his great-great grandfather's storytelling - I am highly encouraging you to do so! You will NOT be disappointed!

One of these days, I'd love to be able to catch him doing "Here Comes Dickens!" I'd love to hear him bring a little of each of the author's novels to life!

Now with that said, it's onto our holiday madness. But glad we got a touching way to begin it.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

**********

UPDATE:  After sharing this post upon Twitter, Mr. Gerald Dickens gave his approval (YAY!) and shared with me HIS blog post of the day including the performance in which we attended. So, I'll share with you. The link to his post, HERE.

UPDATE 2.O:  As I wanted to keep up on the tales of Gerald Dickens during his stay in KC, I took a moment to read his next blog post about his reception that we didn't get to make. Imagine my shock in reading this entry! You might understand why when you read it, HERE!

AM~Erica's Red Cup Rant

So anyway...

There's a thing going on.
This thing has me pulling out my soapbox again. So, here goes:

Starbuck's has really done it now. They went and changed things.

I know! Right?

Just when we expect the popular coffee spot(s) to rise to the occasion for the upcoming holidays with wonderfully festive cups like these:

Oooo....

Ahhhhh....

Ohhhhh.....

Without these, it can't be the Christmas season!

But instead, they bring THESE monstrosities out:

The horror! They are too simple. They don't scream "CHRISTMAS" at all!

What are we going to do?

I want to put it out there that I am a strong Christian woman who doesn't care what Starbuck’s does with their cups for the upcoming holidays. The minimalistic red is fine. The regular cups are fine. I haven't seen any of my fellow Christian friends throwing a fit. However, somehow, "ALL Christians" seem to be super offended by the simple red cup.

So draw something on it. If you want snowflakes, if you want pine trees, if you want a star, if you want a scripture, if you want a cross, if you want a dollar sign, a smiley face, a cat, a saying, if you want whatever artsy thing your heart desires...or even a heart - draw it. Or use the color as the color of love. Use it to illustrate the blood that was shed from the cross for for all of us. Use it to represent there might just be some sort of hot drink in the cup.

Guess what. It's a cup. It holds coffee & tea drinks. You drink from it. If the simple cup offends you, get a cup from somewhere else.

It's. A. Cup. 
Those who are offended, please stop making the rest of us look whiney. For those who think we are offended & want to make a big deal out of it - stop it. We aren't offended.

It's a cup.

Just a cup.

There's so many things the media chooses to cover. The media has now Kardashian'd the news with the ridiculous story that so many Christians are so offended over the red cup.

*face palm*

Look, if you want to keep Christ in Christmas...

Seriously, if you are claiming to be Christian and think that the biggest problem is that Starbuck's doesn't have a festive enough cup for you to be in the Christmas spirit, you are doing it wrong. 
Very, very wrong.

Did you know you can feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies, and do unto others as you would have done unto you...all while holding a simple red cup? It's possible. You can even give any of these people a simple red cup as a caring gesture. And you know what? It will be a more Christian-like Christmas gesture than any graphic that would be printed upon that cup.

I'm going to take it further:

When Jesus blessed the cup & told his disciples to drink from it, he told them it was his blood that would be shed for them; take it, drink it, and remember Christ. 

(Luke 22:19-20, Matthew 26:27-28)

It's kind of a big deal with communion. 

Remember the cup. 

A simple cup.

(I doubt the disciples remembered communion with a jewel-encrusted goblet while wearing fancy robes & stoles. Did you NOT watch 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?')

That simple cup spoke greater than any other cup we want to look festive to feel the spirit. Of anything. That's pretty Pharisaical to think otherwise, amm-i-rite? 

Something to think about while we are allowing ourselves to be consumed by Kardashian'd news & hypocritical views on chain cups during a holiday.

It's just a cup, folks.

It's just a cup.

So drink up, if you choose. You should worry more about whether or not you drink Starbuck's rather than the cup it's in. 

So fill mine with a PSL or a Gingerbread Latte.

Merry Christmas! Share the love.

** No, you don't have to believe what I do, but I do hope you understand where I'm coming from. Just know this is from the heart of a Christian. So I hope you realize "All Christians" do not share the same view as a tiny few.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Stood Crying in Costco's Parking Lot

So anyway...

Have you ever just gotten yourself into a situation that you just stood full-on teary-eyed while in awe of a situation while standing a parking lot? I have. As recently as yesterday.
(I say "recently" because I'm 94.783% sure I've stood crying in a parking lot before.)

Let me back up to a few days ago. Trust me, you need the backstory...

It was a Thursday morning, and the first actual snowfall of the season. The kiddos only had a couple days left of school before the holiday break, and the school district decided to close for the day. We were having a lazy morning at home while trying to work on some more Christmas finalization in continued prep. The lights on all of our trees were twinkling, and we were watching the news.

Hubby was getting coffee & doing some stuff in the kitchen with Lil Guy, and I sat at the dining room table signing Christmas cards for the church staff while watching the snow fall thru the window of the back door as it collected on the deck, the patio furniture and the grills. It was a beautiful Christmasy-type morning!

With our trees up, we moved our recently purchased furniture back to how we originally had our living room set up, which meant the TV could be seen from the dining room table again. As I sat there taking in the view of the snowfall & signing Christmas cards, something on the television caught my attention!

One of the morning news anchors, Mark Alford, was holding up what appeared to be a card with this image & scripture on it:

After seeing this, I just sat at the dining room table & began to sob. I couldn't believe it! A cardinal in the snow with this particular Psalm on it? I really believed it could only mean one thing.

If you remember, we LOST MY GRANDMOTHER in July. I've been talking about her a lot lately. I miss her greatly. We would have celebrated her birthday earlier this month, so HERE'S WHAT WE DID to celebrate this year.

It's also the time of year when cardinals are seen everywhere. They are beautiful in their contrast to snowy backdrops & evergreen trees. My grandmother loved her birds...especially cardinals. Boy, did she love her red birds! This year has been difficult seeing cardinals adorning all kinds of products of sorts around every corner. I knew I would need to brace myself this year, but it still doesn't make it easier.

My grandma also loved the Lord, our God. She always had her bible & at least one devotional close by her chair. It's how she would spend her mornings. And she prayed a lot. She always made sure we knew that she prayed for her family fervently. She was one of only a couple of people I know who actually was the family-oriented person they claimed to be. And she worried about us often. She just wanted us taken care of & safe, always.

Before I came across the above image that morning, I had a great feeling of anxiety take me over. I get those when I feel like something bad may have happened or might happen. With all of MY OWN ISSUES, I don't get the anxiety like that too often. But that day seemed to be overwhelming. I never remember having intense anxiety that seemed so out of the blue like that before. But I went on with my day...

So...I'm sitting at the dining room table, anxiety-ridden & sobbing. Of all things to come across our large television screen, it was a cardinal with a reassurance that her soul has been restored. She is very much OK in Gloryland. I believe that.

When my hubby was trying to figure out why I was overcome with emotion while signing a few Christmas cards, I backed up the story (thanks to modern technology) to show him what came into my view. When the close up of the card, I paused the TV and snapped a pic (the one above). My hubby was as shocked as I was. What a moment!

The close up of Mark holding the artwork was a preemptive tease for a segment coming up for Rhapsody Imaging. It's a husband & wife business that turns his photography of birds & some florals into her creative & beautiful pieces of art. The piece of artwork in the tease was actually a self-standing concave metal piece. And there were so many other things, and so many of the pieces had scriptures on it...
Whew! That was a hard segment to watch! But beautiful. My grandma used to get a subscription to "Birds & Blooms" magazine, so what a glorious moment as I felt like my grandmother had come for a brief moment.

Shorty after that, the weather came on. They love to show viewers photos of weather events when they happen...and someone had sent them a beautiful pic of a snow-covered tree by a snow-covered wooden fence. The fence had a birdhouse on the post, and then, if you looked closely, the tree was beautifully dotted by red spots of cardinals.

*SOBS*

I decided to post the photo I took on Facebook to let folks know my grandmother had stopped by. I had tagged Mark in it, since it was him holding the artwork in my pic. He commented back letting me know touched he was that they could be a part of our lives in that moment. And he also talked up Rhapsody Imaging more as he tagged Pam (the artwork creator) in the comment.

After I'd pulled myself together, and since there was no school, we decided to give another go at trying to get the kiddos to see Santa (the first time was a fiasco on its own). As we stood in line at Bass Pro (like nearly everyone else anymore), I looked down at my phone to see there was a comment on a photo of mine from a name I didn't recognize...
I decided to check Facebook from my phone to see what that was about...
As I read the comment in confusion, and after reading it at least 2 more times, I realized the comment was from Pam at Rhapsody Imaging. It took a moment to sink in that she wanted me to message her my address so she could send me the very piece of artwork I took the picture of! She was so moved by the moment I had, she wanted me to have the concave metal image...

So...there I was crying while in line to see Santa. My older two were freaking out & wanting to know if everything was OK! My hubby wondered why I was crying AGAIN...and I showed him the comment. He was stunned, too. And then we had to explain to the kiddos why mommy is crying in the Bass Pro Santa line...

~~~~~~~~~~

After I got home, I messaged Pam back in my overwhelmed state. As we had a few back-and-forth messages, we decided to save her some shipping cost, we could meet up since she's located in a neighboring town! This was awesome for me since I could tell her face-to-face what a blessing she was.

We decided to meet at the local Costco. (See where this is going?) Once we figured each other out...we embraced in a hug as our greeting! We stood there in the gray, drizzly weather talking about our losses & our blessings.

And I stood there, crying, in Costco's parking lot.

While I stood there crying with Pam, I told her I'd come to a realization that I saw the cardinal image with the Psalm on the first snowy morning of the season; it would have been a morning my grandmother would have been extra worried about us. However, she could not call us this year to check on us...so she found other ways to make sure we knew she was looking out for us. I also fully believe I had been channeling her anxiety for us that day.

I brought home the beautiful artwork & decided to place it appropriately by the tree we put up in my grandmother's memory:

The beautiful artwork now displayed in our home.

The memory tree with grandma's costumed goose & the beautiful Rhapsody Imaging artwork.

The cardinal I got to put on the tree a couple of weeks ago.

I have a plan for displaying our new concave metal art after Christmas...but this is a fitting display for now.

I'm so emotional, yet happy, about that moment with my grandma on Thursday morning. I'm also so thankful that our favorite morning news team & Rhapsody Imaging were a part of it.

What an amazing & blessed Christmas miracle we got to witness.

I miss my grandma. This Christmas will be different. But it doesn't mean she's not with us. She still wants us to know she's watching out for us.

Even if it means leading to sobbing in the Bass Pro & parking lot of Costco.

Amen.

*grabs a tissue*

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

** PS - check out the glorious work by Rhapsody Imaging HERE!

AM~Erica Finds a Different Way to Remember

So anyway...

It is that time of year, folks. A time of lights, trees, wrapping paper with lovely ribbons & bows, shiny ornaments, get togethers, mad-dash shopping, baking, cooking, photos, big guy in red, Nativity scenes...
Yep. It's Christmastime. Can you feel it?

As much as we love Christmas in our own house, we've been too stressed out & pulled too many directions to ever really enjoy it the last couple of years. We've had a couple of years where we just were having trouble feeling the season's spirit; having trouble finding the meaning.

Don't get me wrong. We KNOW what it's about! There's no mistaking it. We just couldn't get in tune with it. When things are too rushed, too filled, too much to just be able to breathe it in & focus. Then the time is gone...and we are even more disappointed that it's time to pack everything away & we didn't get to...well...just...be.

I'm not exactly sure what became different this year. It just seemed easier to move into this time of year. It's going to fast...but it felt right.

We changed some things. Our main tree set up is different.

That's right. We have a forest. This was actually a fun & awesome idea from my hubby! The big, main tree is actually a tree we've had for several years, it has been set up for the last 3 years (never taken down) downstairs, and now has it's chance to shine as the main tree! I love how it all turned out.
Oh...and our new North Pole-trained wrapping elves, Elof & Winka, have been hard at work so far!

I have also been wanting to do a Scandinavian-style tree since I started researching TO CELEBRATE LEIF ERICSSON DAY! The more I got looking into the Norse & Norwegian celebrations & customs, I was taken by the simplicity of the God Jul trees. So, I worked it where I could have that in my own home!

We had the old popcorn tins, so I set up a couple tiny trees to hold a few more ornaments. It's still a work in progress, but I'm loving how it's coming out!! Maybe more on this set up when it's all done...

Then, if you remember when my mom & daughter went with me to DECORATE A TREE FOR MARILLAC, I had some ornaments left over. Plus, I'd gotten some clearance ornaments for that tree, but couldn't find them when it came time to go decorate. Well...I found a bunch of what I'd gotten (figures), and so I thought I'd use them for the house. I used another tree we had stored to put downstairs. I began to place the browns & golds on & around the tree. I found a golden bird ornament that seemed to be featured. It has this great feather tail! As I finished up, I thought it needed a little something...so...I remembered I had, at one time, purchased some brown, off white, and deep red feathers for some decorating! So I grabbed them & added them to the tree!

Even though some of the lights are out, I'm so happy with this adorable tree. With some of my mom's prompting, I've decided to call it "Fine Feathered Fantasy." It's quite elegant! The pictures don't do it justice.

We also started a tradition a couple of years ago. Each person in the household draws a number (around Thanksgiving-ish). This is the order each person will choose 2 things: a Christmas movie/special & a holiday treat to pair with it. Everyone joins in! No electronics during this time! We do this about once a week up to Christmas, as scheduling allows. This year, I was up first!

We got this really awesome chalkboard, and I was lost as to what to use it for during Christmastime. One side is our countdown...

...then I decided to use the other side to keep everyone apprised of the next family holiday movie/treat thingy.

For my night, I "made" gingerbread cookies & decorated them!

Then served 'em up with egg nog for night #1 2014 as we settled in to watch "Elf"!

I must tell you that I was not a fan of this movie the first time I saw it. However, the more I watch it, the more I love it! It's beginning to move it's way up the list as a favorite!

Oh! And I'm pretty much the only one who really likes gingerbread! But I found Nestle Tollhouse put out ready-made cookie dough sheets! Really...all you have to do is put your cookie cutters to 'em & bake! And? My family LOVED this version of gingerbread! BOOM! I was happy with how the season started off.

That's a way to get the holidays rolling, for sure! Next up will be Lil Guy's picks:

Looking forward to his turn!

As we prepare for that, there was something else that is different about this year. LOSING MY GRANDMOTHER. Man...all the Christmases in my life included her. Even if we had to shuffle a couple things around, we were always at her house to start the last run of Christmas events. This year...we won't. It won't be at her place, anyway.
Part of what made this time difficult was the fact that my grandmother was to turn 94...yesterday. *sigh*
The last few years, the family would gather to celebrate her birthday, and then as part of her gift, I would put up & decorate her Christmas tree.

My grandmother's tree I decorated, circa 2012

With her birthday being in December, and she loved her red birds (the actual bird, not the baseball team), and with her deep spiritual relationship, I came up with a grouping of decor that included "snow", cardinals (some nesting), and an angel topper for her fiberoptic tree. I called it "Heaven and Nature Sing." She loved looking at her red birds accented by the snow. She loved she could see them even if the lights on the tree weren't on.

This year, that didn't happen. And it won't happen. And it's sad.

In the faux forest of Christmas trees that hubby dreamed up, he thought maybe 4 trees. Ambitious, amm-i-rite? But the last one I saved. I decided that I would decorate it on December 4th. I wanted to add poinsettias to it since it's the flower readily associated with December. I also added 4 jingle bell snowman ornaments to this tree. My grandmother gave each of the kids one several years ago...each snowman has one of their names. And now they hang on the memory December tree in her memory. I will be finding at least one cardinal to place on the tree. I should have it soon...or it wouldn't be right.

Last year when we put up her tree, NBC was airing "Sound of Music Live!" We were watching some of it as we put up the tree, at the time we could gather for her birthday. My Lil Guy had trouble remembering that. Not in the fact of remembering...he was sad remembering it. Last year, we didn't know that would be the last time we would be doing that for her. He's still hurting from her loss, too. However, how fitting that NBC would be airing "Peter Pan Live!" on the night I would be decorating the tree in memory of my grandmother.

As I continue to grieve her absence & as we plan onward, we realize there's so much to do! We've got gatherings to attend, we have Christmas programs to put on. I'm even planning on channeling my grandmother as I attempt to make some candies & cookies this year.

We actually have lights up on our house, too! That hasn't happened for a couple of years, either! And...I've got another tree to put up in the kitchen. Be watching for that!

Ah...yes. That time of year is upon us. And this time, I feel merry & bright! Things will be different. But we are making the most of it! Looking forward to continuing on with our beautiful Advent season. My grandmother would want that happen...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

A Good Cause for AM~Erica to Decorate

So anyway...

It's that time of year again! You know...when October is over right a midnight...all the ghouls & goblins are getting tucked in bed from getting & eating so much candy...and then...BOOM! CHRISTMAS!

You see it a little bit before that as holiday decor & gift sets begin to leak into spiderwebs, masks, makeup & pumpkins...but it just takes over come November 1st!

This doesn't bother a few, but for many it can be really irritating. It's like the precious middle child of Thanksgiving GETS PASSED OVER.

I'm not big on that thought. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas! It's just a bit of overkill of commercialism the moment we flip our calendars to November. No breather between the Halloween hype. Just turn around and we are smacked with the hype of commercialist, materialist Christmas stuff.

OK...so the elections happened, too. And I am SO thankful the negativity of the mudslinging ads are done, but I'm talking holidays here.

Now then, even though I'm so irritated by the onslaught of Christmas carols loudly piped thru the grocery stores, along with the sound of actual jingle bells & premature twinkling of lights on trees & wreaths, I did some prep work by buying some ornaments, glittery things, clip-on poinsettias, and a tree. Then I went straight to decorating that tree.

Yes. On November 1st, I fell to decorating a tree. But it's not for my home. We certainly aren't ready for that yet!! Instead, it was for an incredibly important cause!

If you remember a couple of years ago, my mom, daughter & I decorated a tree as part of THE ENCHANTED FOREST. It was such an awesome experience, we did it again!

The Marillac Center is an organization that helps children & teens in the mental health department. No matter what payment can or cannot be, they take these kids in to make sure they are put back on track to be able to function in society without hurting themselves or someone else. And I am so proud to be supporting them! We get to help them with creative contributions so that they may auction off these holiday creations to be able to supplement payment for the families who cannot pay for the treatment of their child's mental health.

Find out more about Marillac HERE

So, with an idea I had about 5 years ago, got the stuff, but never got to use it, I got the chance to recreate the idea this year!! YAY!!

We got an unlit tree, gold bow topper, pine cones, gold curly ting ting, poinsettias, ornaments in deep reds, coppers, browns, add gold ribbon, snowflakes & icicles, you get a beautiful tree called "Warm Winter Splendor"...

It was nice to have Teen Girl in town to help decorate. She was amazing wielding the hot glue gun!! And my mom found some beautiful decorations to add to our gorgeous tree! It was definitely teamwork to get this thing together!

Unfortunately, Teen Girl had to head back to college & could not join us for the decorators' reception. But my mom & I fought the insanity of rush hour traffic & parking to get in to a portion of our reception & so we could enjoy taking in & critiquing the other trees & wreaths. It's what we've done for 20 of the past 22 years. And we snapped some pics of our tree set up...

"Warm Winter Splendor" is one of many trees & wreaths up for bid this weekend ONLY! Bidding happens on site, so if you are in the KC area, you can head over to the Overland Park Convention Center to check out the Enchanted Forest for FREE & to make a bid on some beautifully decorated creations!

You can also purchase a ticket to get in to shop at the Holiday Boutique...which also helps benefit local businesses AND help out Marillac!

And if you need an extra push to get there, I want to tell you what happened when the CEO/President of Marillac sat down with my mom & me at the reception. Lynn Lemke introduced himself, sat down with us, and thanked us for donating a tree. He then when into a brief description of Marillac...and then did something amazing! He told us that he'd spent the evening sharing a different story of a child with every person/group he was speaking with. Then he chose to share this particular story with us:

There was a boy who lost his father to an alcohol-related death. His mom was addicted to drugs. He was living with his grandparents, but needed to be helped for his mental health state. He was having a rough time, and was even suicidal. They worked with him until they could get him back living with his grandparents. And at that point, he had told Marillac that he was looking into maybe a career as a therapist thru music! Isn't that awesome?? But the story doesn't end there...
Mr. Lemke went on to say that there was a Marillac fundraising gala recently. He wanted to find one of the kids to speak at the gala to make the awareness very real. He asked Zack (the boy in the story). The grandparents were asked first, and they agreed as long as Zack felt OK with it. Zack was reluctant, but Mr. Lemke informed him that there would be nothing to be afraid of. He told Zack that we are all failures at some point, and it's OK to say that we have issues. And, even though Zack was still going in for outpatient upkeep treatment now, his story would be a great one to share. Zack agreed to speak in front of 200 people. That night, in front of 350 people at the gala, the sound system didn't work the whole time...that was until Zack got up to speak. The sound system worked perfectly for the 20 minutes he told his story to the crowd. Afterward, person after person after person approached Zack with congratulations for a great job, with gushing encouragement, and so many thank yous for him being so open with his story.
This led to Zack telling Mr. Lemke that this experience changed his mind about a career & is now wanting to be a motivational speaker.

Several things about Zack's story resonated with me. And, if you read about MY OWN STRUGGLES, you will know why it hit me so hard & why I tried not to ugly cry in that moment. Only intervention of the Divine led Mr. Lemke to tell us that particular story.

With my recent advocacy with the AFSP (more info HERE), I am also wanting to do more with Marillac. If we can help these kids early, maybe they can be functional prepared & functional adults.

In God's time was it made aware to me why I felt led to do a tree for Marillac after so many years of just attending. But it took until now to truly understand.

So...won't you go to bid on a tree? Not just "Warm Winter Splendor", but any of the trees &/or wreaths to help such a worthy cause?

By the way...as of last night, there was already a bid...now it's your turn thru Sunday!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica