He was AM~Erica's Godson

So anyway...

It's July 28th. In the year 2012, it's National Dance Day (last Saturday in July). However, today proves to strike me much differently.

Today, Douglas would have been 18. I can't believe it's even been that long...but it has. And it is crazy to me that it still hurts so much that he's not even here.

You see, 18 years ago, my childhood best friend, Nikki (I've brought her up before) was pregnant with a boy. His name was to be Douglas...and I was to be his godmother. You see, 18 years ago, yesterday, I was with Nikki helping her put the finishing touches on the nursery. The last thing put into place was the teddy bear mobile on his crib that I had gotten just for his arrival. I remember reveling in our hard work & knowing that this little guy was going to be coming any day. Even thought Nikki had been quite ill throughout the pregnancy, she was holding up very well & was ready for all of us to see little Dougie.

The next day, which was 18 years ago today, I got a call at the wee hours of the morning from Dougie's dad, in tears, that we had lost Dougie. He was stillborn after some complications that night before...after I'd left.

No words, even today, can express how awful of a moment that was. I couldn't focus on work the next day as word had already gotten out by another family friend I'd worked with. I didn't get to make it to the hospital, but I was around for some of the funeral planning of the nearly 10 pound baby that didn't get to see his future.

I do know that boy still visits me from time-to-time. I'm not going to say how here...that is a private moment of my godson coming by for a quick hello. And I always make sure to let Nikki know that he stopped by.

Today, my friend posted this on her Facebook wall:

Just a note to my son: 
Douglas, 
I can't believe you'd be 18 today. Wow... You'd be a high school graduate and you'd be able to vote in the upcoming election. Wow... I am just floored that this much time has gone by so quickly. I can't imagine what you'd look like or be like any more. I still have the image of you as a little baby burned in my mind. Still, there are times that I get a small inkling from looking at your sisters at what you might look like...but who would you be now? How would your plans for life be unfolding at this time in your life? Would you be going to college or trade school? Would you be in love? Would you be in the military? Would you be an athlete, artist, musician, scholar? I guess these questions will be with me forever...but it's official that you wouldn't be a child any more...and I think that hurts more than anything right now, and I don't know why. Days like this the pain is so fresh... I've learned to cope with it on my own now 99% of the time and most days it's just a twinge when I stop to think of you, but I miss you still and always will. You're precious and I will always be grateful for your presence in my life and all the valuable lessons that you taught me. I love you Dougie. Happy Birthday.
Mommy

Indeed. Happy Birthday, Dougie. Your godmother still loves & misses you, too.


Stay tuned...


God Bless, AM~Erica

Gloria Jean Knows AM~Erica's Name

So anyway...

Raise your hands if you know where the practice of yelling, "NORM!" came from. *raises hand*

And why did they yell Norm's name when he walked in? He was a regular at the Cheers bar, and they knew his name. And even though he could never pay off the tab he'd been working on for years, they always served him & enjoyed his company. They liked him being there.



If you haven't figured out, I love my coffee. I do...I really, Really, REALLY do! And I have been to several establishments to purchase a cup of coffee, foo-foo or not, to consume. Some are good, some are not-so-good. But I ponder the fact that I have been drawn to one particular establishment. And my draw to it extends back to my newly-post high school days.

Remember back in the 80's & early 90's when some of us were considered mall rats? *raises hand* I had the hair-goddess, lion-mane hair & would go with my friends to invade Claire's, Spencer Gifts & the food court. And going to check out new trends in the stores was a MUST! Maybe even work in a silly photo booth session, and possibly a movie. Those were the days! But I must blame, I mean "give credit", to my friend Renae for introducing me to iced mocha on the Country Club Plaza during my senior year. And that was it!

In the time since then, I was usually at Ward Parkway mall (back when it was a whole mall) since the draw to Bannister Mall was sadly dwindling. (RIP, Bannister Mall) So, I would shop frequently with my good pal, Nikki. And we would often go into the Gloria Jean's establishment to get some kind of coffee concoction. We started getting to know the manager there because she would start to remember us. But it's hard to forget a couple of crazy chics when one of them is albino. But we started getting to know Pam. Then life began to happen; Nikki & I started hanging out less & stopping by Gloria Jean's to get our coffee from Pam. We quit going. For years.

I eventually got a job about a block from Ward Parkway mall & started going there again nearly everyday. Pam was still there & actually remembered me! We started chatting & I would get my coffee. Then a guy named Dave started coming in, too. We were quite a trio talking there almost everyday & entertaining the customers coming in for their coffee, too. I even started spending some days with my (now author) friend, Shanna. She blames me, I mean "gives me credit", for her addiction to frozen coffee just from out frequent visits there.

I got laid off from my job & slowed going. Ward Parkway was dwindling & became less of a mall. Gloria Jean's closed. I had to go back over to Bannister if I was to see my friend Pam & sometimes Dave would show up, too. But that shop closed along with the whole mall. No more Gloria Jean's for a long time...that was over 10 years ago.

In the meantime, we have had local coffee shop coffee & Starbuck's. But it was never the same for me. Not just the taste of the coffee, but the ambiance. I didn't have the "NORM" moments. My hubby & I were in the realm of "general patrons". Until recently...

In December, hubby & I decided to delve into the world of grinding our own coffee beans! And that's what we did. So, off to bean testing: from store brands, to local coffee shop blends, we tried Gloria Jean's. We were most pleased with what they had & how it tasted. So we go weekly into the Gloria Jean's establishment at the mall near us. One of the baristas learned my name since I'm on the coffee club list. *Coffee Snob* Now, when I walk in the door, she yells, "ERICA WILLIAMS!" It doesn't matter how crowded the shop is. Another barista has started learning our habits, too. We have a coffee bean blend rotation...and they are learning it. They will even have a 2-5 minute conversation with each other about us coming in & arguing about what bean is up in the rotation before we can even say hi to them. It's awesome!

They have even gotten to the point they are trying to remember hubby's name. When he walks in, they yell, "MR. WILLIAMS!" Yeah...they don't have his first name down...yet...

So, if you are ever at Independence Center on Friday, Saturday or Sunday afternoon or evening, you may see Morgan & Mercedes (M&M, aka "Two Blondes & a Coffee Shop"). Go say hi, get a drink & tell them Erica Williams sent you.

Cuz...(sing with me)...
"...sometimes you wanna go
where everybody knows your na-a-a-ame;
(bum, bum, bum-bum)
and their always glad you ca-a-a-ame!
(bum, bum, bum-bum)"

(Are you singing, too?)

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is Gonna Get Burned

So anyway...

Summer vacation is quickly upon us. And Memorial Day is right around the corner to kick off the summer season (even though it doesn't REALLY truly officially happen until June 20-something). So, time to get prepared, right?

Not too long ago, I brought up swimwear. I'm still on the search for my perfect dream swimsuit! But, in the meantime, I need to deal with a bigger issue for me: the sun.

It has come out that any sunscreen (it's no longer "PC" to say "sunBLOCK") with any higher SPF protection of 50 will do no good & will, therefore, be discontinued.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!!!!

This is oh-so-very wrong!! Who the heck did they test? It certainly wasn't any of the fair-skinned brand of folks. *raises hand*

So, what are the those with the Irish, Scottish & Netherlands blood supposed to do in this situation? And what about the albino folk? (See? Still talking about you, Nikki!) Well, since we obviously weren't asked...we are left to do one thing:

FRY!

There is gonna be a slue of crispy critters going around since the sunscreen will only act as a marinade for us. Trust me.

Wanna know what I use on the kiddos & myself? I use this amazing, magical brew:

That's right. It's hardcore stuff. And I love it! It's the stuff that actually works for me. And it works for my kiddos. Well, the fair skin ones. Teen boy got the working complexion of his dad's Native American side. Teen girl & lil guy sport my Irish complexion. Nice, right? And I have used & tested a WHOLE lot of different lotions to fight off the sun for the sake of our poor skin. And this is it! Now? They are planning on taking it away.

Happy May...Melanoma Awareness Month! Let's take away what actually helps the fair skin peeps & let 'em fry like lobsters. Awesome!

Oh man, oh man...I am hurting just thinking about it. *sigh*

And if any of you doubt my paleness, I have a couple of stories for you from high school. And my skin hasn't changed in that time. So here we go:

1. I remember being in one of my "I don't care" moods one day. So, I wore cut off sweats that were turned into shorts (shut up, they were cute in the early 90's) & a souvenir-type tshirt. I was sitting in the choir room when my good pal Nikki (Hi, again, Nik! Still talking about ya!) came & sat next to me to talk, as usual. She had a weird freak out moment when she realized an awful truth & shared it with me. Well, the truth was awful for me & joyous for her. My albino friend had discovered that my pasty legs were whiter than hers! UGH!! And then, my fabulously loud & eccentric friend declared to our whole class of her discovery. *face palm*

2. I did track my senior year at the nudging of my friend Cara. (Hi, Cara...in case you read this). She wanted to "get in shape" & convinced me to do it with her. And we were both dancers at that point in our lives. But we didn't want to run or anything. So, what was left? Oh, I know...shotput & discus! I'm not kidding. I'm shaking my own head as I type this. Anyhoo...this meant we were outside in the elements everyday to practice. I eventually got a tan line! Farmer's kind of tan line, but it still proved that I had color! Woot! I was excited until another classmate looked at my legs one day & proclaimed that I needed to get a tan. Imagine her face when I moved my sock to reveal my tan line. *face palm*

So...you get my point right? I didn't earn the nickname of "Casper" in high school without merit! (Right, Crispy Legs?)

I can burn in a 10-minute, partly cloudy outing. Oh yes...be jealous. Maybe it's a superpower!

Nonetheless, getting rid of the higher SPF products just isn't right. I will take my vitamin D by chugging milk, just don't make me get skin cancer because Dr. Tanhide doesn't feel higher numbers do anyone any good. Hope you enjoy your trips to the Carribean! Grrrrr...

I have no aspirations of being like the Tan Mom (ick!) & I would still prefer to keep myself from looking like leather to any extent if possible.

Maybe I'll feel differently when I get my dream swimsuit. I'll just have to worry about my crispy critter of a face.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica