Showing posts with label self image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self image. Show all posts

Thursday, July 23, 2015

AM~Erica's Storyteller Confessional

So anyway...

I'm a story teller:
I love telling stories.
I'm the most story-telling storyteller
to try to tell a story.

If I've said it once, I've said it hundreds of times (and will continue to do so as long as needed), I am a storyteller.

Everything I post about is a story about something going on in my experience of life. Whether I've stumbled onto it or created it, it's still within my experience...and I don't mind sharing. BOOM! A story to be told.

Whether it's in the way I dress, a way I celebrate, any makeup I choose to wear, the accessories I put on, with family, with friends...take your pick of what I share, it's about telling a story. Even the characters I create usually have a backstory.

I even like expanding on one particular aspect of an experience to form a story. There's greater meaning in much of what I come across. Or at least in my perspective.

Sometimes, I have an odd perspective. That's how it is.

One of the avenues of storytelling that has actually been raised in a manner of shaming is the selfie.

Ah, the selfie!

Love 'em or hate 'em, they have taken over our social media feeds, texts, snapchats, etc. You name it, there's probably someone attaching a selfie to it.

OK, maybe not YOU...but obviously many.

Hi. I'm Erica. I'm a taker of selfies.
(please respond with, "Hi, Erica.")



OK...I'll admit this really is merely a sampling.
There are, indeed, many more out there on Facebook & Instagram.
#noshame


This has been an issue that has been swirling around the interwebz & face-to-face conversations for quite some time, now. Really it surrounds the perception of whether it's narcissism or self-expression.

In a world where we are bombarded by any given Kardashian & all connected to them, I believe this is a dark side of the selfie.

Don't get me wrong: each to their own, yo. But there's a lot that has come out of that family on the mere "merit" of a video. Not a talent or philanthropy...but a lot of "self" from it that our pop culture world has dangerously soaked up like a sponge absorbing battery acid. We want to soak it up (try to keep up with them?), yet it's very corrosive!

Still, there was a book of selfies put out by Kim. Just all these "perfect" (to her) selfies that she chose from the thousands she's taken. Whether it's how her husband chose to dress her, how she looks at a gala she somehow got invited to, how she looks in a bikini by the pool, how she looks in the bathroom mirror on that day, how the light hits her derriere...it's pretty much about how she looks at any given moment. (just check out the Amazon reviews HERE) Yes, as a reminder, it is called "Selfish." It was also a top selling book.

This is a good reason why selfies have been given such a bad name. This term, along with media & pop culture, have been "Kardashian'd". For the most part...they are NOT news. Yet they are always in our faces somehow.

But I want to look beyond the Kardashian'd selfie that I have seen several take part in...and instead try a different perspective.

Just this week, I came across a couple of posts specifically about the selfie.
There's this one from Hello Giggles (HERE). I like a couple of things said in it, but wasn't fond of the overall tone of it. It's still bigger than that.
So, here's this blog post from OLD SINGLE MOM (selfie post HERE). I love this one! It's much of how I view a selfie. It should give the story of what you're doing, the mood you're in, and should make people wonder what's next! You know...telling a story.

Greater than just how you look, what if we are perpetuating a story?
Not faking a story!! Telling your story! There's a difference.

Now telling a joke with a selfie is one thing: if you're posed in front of a castle claiming it's your new home...it's funny. But at what point is faking this too far?

In the news lately, it's come to light that rapper 50 Cent is in a lot of trouble for faking a lifestyle. He's in legal trouble and going thru bankruptcy for living the liar's life. His story was fake.
Do I believe is was probably shot at some point...yes. But to live grandly, put it out there like you're doing so...and to have it turn out to be a lie so you could appear a certain way...well, that's not OK.

Same with selfies. Are you pretending your life is awesome & great, you have the best stuff, you only take amazing trips...but it's only backdrops. Do you share your hurts & pains, too?

I do.

See, I don't mind sharing the good stuff, the fun stuff, the silly stuff...but I will share my pain & my causes, too. It's beyond just sending a silly face or posing pretending I'm hot (unless I'm outside sharing how I'm melting). How are you branding yourself? And is it hurting your image when you just post your cleavage & duck lips? (I've seen a lot of that.) Or are you greater than just that? Are you showing how your brain works? Are you showing how this experience has become a part of you? It's great you feel good about how you look in a moment...but can you "tell" why?

When a painter paints a self-portrait, or a photographer snaps a self-portrait...there's thought that goes into the results. There's a story they are trying to tell. It's part of their visual autobiography. Taking a selfie by the beach is one thing, but being semi-posed isolated by the fence, wearing a scarf, with a backdrop of many in swimwear enjoying the ocean behind you can truly tell a story of being different than many others.

A black & white shot can accentuate more in the drama or beauty of a situation that can be greater than just the color of the moment...and vice versa.

Maybe you need that great self portrait of how huge that piece of pizza is next to your head. That's right! And you can admit that you ate the whole thing...and maybe another slice or two. It tells a story.

There's also a time & place for selfies. It can be taken in the mundane. Sometimes there's tremendous story that can be told in the mundane. But it's different than "just because I was bored."
However...sometimes some amazing portraits can come from "just because I was bored."

Confusing? Yes. But it can create a story if done right.

You know what? It comes down to something like this:
There's much more interest in a story you're trying to tell about yourself. It builds connection to others. It speaks to many more than just snapping a bathroom mirror pic because you think your lashes make you look awesome.

The Hello Giggle article used the term "self-fashioning" as we really are branding ourselves in whatever we post.

For me, there's more than just "smile for the camera & say 'cheese'"...it's about expression & story.

Right? At least I hope that's what you get from what I post.

And I cannot tell you to NOT post selfies. Duh! It's something I do from time-to-time. But maybe I can lay down a challenge for those of you to attempt to tell your story & treat your selfies as a visual & inspirational (or example-giving...whatever) autobiography.

So...go forth & tell your story!! In many forms: how you dress, in a blog,...even a selfie.

Join me, won't you?

* Side Note: my hubby feels very 
differently and doesn't fully agree.

OK...so the hubby partakes in SOME selfies from time-to-time with some coaxing from me


Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

How AM~Erica Views FLOTUS

So anyway...

I'm gonna make it clear that I don't care what you think politically! It does NOT apply here!!

OK, now that I have that out of the way, and if we are all good in this understanding...I'm going to talk some FLOTUS.

Do you know what "FLOTUS" is? Many might...but I'm sure there's those of you scratching your heads, so let me explain...

About 3 years ago, the Simpsons had an episode where Lisa had started a blog for organic gardening. She did not have a lot of hits on her posts, but she always got a comment on her posts that were very sweet & encouraging by someone with the username "flotus1".

During the episode, Lisa starts getting kind of bullied for being an overachiever...so Lisa took to her itty-bitty blog about it...and that's when action was taken...

Eventually, Air Force 1 shows up to Springfield Elementary, and Michelle Obama stepped out, called out Lisa, spoke to the students about the good that can come out of overachievers, and to leave Lisa & those like her alone.



In Lisa's shock, she wanted to know how in the world Michelle Obama would know about her situation. That's when it comes out that it's Michelle Obama who had the username "flotus1". It stands for: First Lady Of The United States One (1). She then went on to say that "flotus" was already taken...and it's because little Ralph has it because he swims with his "flotuses on".

In real life, the First Lady of the US got onto Twitter for her birthday. I am so entertained by the fact that her Twitter handle is @FLOTUS. I thought it was brilliant!!

I got thinking about Mrs. Obama due to the media making a big deal about her mid-life crisis. As I said, she just had a birthday last month, and she turned 49. (I don't care who you are, she looks GOOD, right there...) It came out that she made a video screen appearance on Rachael Ray talking about what she chose to do. Apparently she didn't buy a fancy car, and she's not allowed to go bungee jumping...so she got bangs.

That's right people...the bangs that the fashion world blew up about, both positively & negatively, was her midlife crisis moment.

In the same interview, it's said that she talks about the one thing that is missed the most since going to the White House: just being able to live a normal life. She was "caught" shopping a Target a couple of years ago...because it was something someone would & should be able to be regular about. And the media went crazy over it!

It's not just Michelle, either...

Any woman who has been in that position would know what that was like. Taking in scrutiny for anything they did, wore, stood for, looked...how tiring!! Her hubs is the one elected, but the entire family all of a sudden must take on this role.

You don't have to agree with everything or anything the 1st Lady does, but you must look at her as trying to keep things as stable as possible within their family. But they get thrown into positions where they must take open stands on things. And they have to be advocates for different charities. My head swims thinking about what any of these women have to deal with WHILE trying to be a mother/wife!

I look at their position closely. Although it's not exactly the same, A PASTOR'S WIFE, SUCH AS MYSELF get a very different treatment.

Even in talking about it before, I still get called "First Lady". There are many other pastor's wives that get called "First Lady," too. I'm not sure how all of them feel about that tag, but I do know we want a sense of normalcy surrounding us. And I never use that "N" word of "normal" lightly.

We get scrutinized for where we sit, what service we are in, how we deal with our kids, what meetings we do or don't attend, what group or groups we do or don't associate with...
It's tiring!

As many of you know, I love playing with my own hair & fashion. Because it's fun for me. It helps me express myself! And there are many that want to show up to service or another church event to see if I'm there & what I'm wearing. It's sweet. I don't mind inspiring others to try something, but I am also not a walking landmark of sorts.

Much like our FLOTUS, Michelle Obama...her fashion choices are fantastic, but also get plastered all over the media, then praised or criticized for expressing herself. My favorite is when they give her a hard time (or any celebrity for that matter) for wearing the same outfit for a 3rd time in 8 months. Seriously?



I will make this clear for myself & for another pastor's wife/spouse (cuz there are hubbies, too) that we just want to be ourselves. We are involved in our own things & have our own talents. I try to make it very clear that I am not the former pastor spouse who was there before. I am not Edna & will not cook for the women's group...and you probably won't see me leading a class either. I will use my creativity to do drama or dance or something like that. If there's a spouse that likes to knit, let them! Just know the spouse following them probably won't knit. I don't play the organ or the piano. I don't sing in the choir. There are spouses who can & do some of that stuff...just don't expect that new spouse of the new pastor to take the other one's place.

This is important knowledge!

That's why I cringe so much at the "First Lady" title. I am one of the congregants of the church. I should not be on a pedestal. The higher the pedestal, the harder the possible fall.

Much like the FLOTUS...Michelle is not the same as Jackie O., even though the comparison has been made. She is not Laura Bush or Hillary Clinton (OH, MAN...I STOOD UP FOR HER AGAIN). Not Barbara, not Mary, not Lady Bird, not Martha...
All of these women are & have been completely different!

A collage of both presidents AND first ladies...and they are all different from one another


Yet, no matter who the FLOTUS is, she is plastered all over the media for anything she does, says, wears, looks...it's tiring!

And my little tiny corner of that thought does plague me because of what my hubby was called to do.

We all want some normalcy...and it doesn't happen. Even if I go to WalMart or Target or the mall...I get recognized & hope I don't end up saying something really stupid...cuz...IT'S BEEN KNOWN TO HAPPEN.

Whoever our First Lady of the US happens to be, I look up to them because their position, though much like mine, is much more intense.

I wonder if it will be treated the same when we get our 1st female president...and the media may have to deal with the First Man of the US (or something like that). Or let's pretend for a second (and so I can totally freak a ton of you out) that our next president is a gay man...who is married thru one of the states who has it legal. Either way, in those instances, there would be a man in what has been filled by a woman since the beginning of the US.

I can almost guarantee that they would be viewed quite differently...and probably not in the same way a FLOTUS would.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

Monday, June 4, 2012

AM~Erica Loves Lucy & Her Lessons

So anyway...

I'm not sure if you know, but I Love Lucy. I really, REALLY do. It's not just cliche'.

She proved you can be dorky, funny, spunky while being beautiful & stylish all at the same time! What a gal! What an icon! I mean...what did you really expect from a redhead? HA!

Well, this weekend while chilling out, my hubby came across some episodes being shown on TV Land. So the family took pause to take in what the show was about. Even though lil guy didn't really get it, the rest of us were laughing! It's priceless footage for sure.

There was an episode shown that really got my attention. As funny as it was, it totally covered an important issue that we promote today. Though we were laughing, it was really sad at the same time. It was about self image.

OK...a lot of what she covered was done out of over compensating for her insecurities, but this one really hit a note. It's the episode of "The Diet".


Lucy is already feeling bloated & down on herself. Then she hears that Ricky's lead dancer isn't going to be able to continue & he is in need of a female to step up who can sing & dance. She is trying for all her worth to get his attention that she could step up to do it, but he blows off her spontaneous effort. He says he'll hold auditions, so she says she'll pretend that they don't know each other & come to audition. He agrees!
*side note: not sure if this was Ricky really being a pig of a husband or if it might be interesting role play to spice up their relationship*

So Lucy shows up to this scene:


I don't know how I would feel walking into that situation. Well, I would know how to show up at an audition, but that's beside the point. This would be intimidating & frustrating! Then to hear that the dancers have known Ricky for years & tell Lucy they know she isn't is type? It's funny for the joke, but sad to think about. How much more deflating is that? Especially since you are supposed to be coming in as an "unknown" to the audition!

Of course, our dear Lucy fakes her way miserably thru the audition...but then it comes to be that he's really needing someone who can fit into the size 12 costume. Back then...that might've been the norm, people! Not a size 0 or size 2...size 12!!! Even though sizing was different then...

She swears she can wear the costume & shreds it to pieces when she tries it on. So she gives herself 6 days to prove she can wear the size 12. And Ethel tries to help.


Jump ropes, laps around the apartment...and all while wearing sweats. Just like I've seen wrestlers do to get their weight down. It's horrific! Lucy can't even stand up, let alone weigh in. Finally, she's lost 5 ounces after all of that to bring her a grand total of 2 pounds. She's trying to lose about 10 pounds in the 6 days.

When dinner comes around, Ethel has fixed steak & potatoes for Fred, Ricky & herself. Lucy got a celery stalk. Even the dog was being fed better!

There is a point where she even sits in a rented home sauna box to "melt off" the rest of the weight on day 6 before the show that night.

Eventually, we end up at the club. Ricky has already hired one of the other girls. Then, when the music starts, much to Ricky's surprise, we see:


...and she is adorable doing the dance to "Cuban Pete", as sung by Ricky.

Afterward, she obviously collapses. We see her on a stretcher & asking Ricky if she gets to be his dancer every night. He says no since she needs 3 WEEKS of rest due to...MALNUTRITION!

This episode was so entertaining in Lucy's way...but it was also a hard-hitting point. She was, of course, beautiful as she was. What high demands & obstacles her hubby put her thru to make her think she had to do all of that. Especially just to get his attention.

It's all about our self image & how we see ourselves. It is also how we make others feel about themselves, too. I can't preach it enough!

And if you want to feel better about yourself, just start eating better & drinking more water. Try going for a walk, even. Laugh, love & live on top of that. Don't go by magazines! Don't go by Hollywood standards, either! You can be fabulous just being you. (Well, most of us.)

Oh, in case you were wondering, Lucy tied up the new lead dancer, gagged her & stuffed her into the sink of the janitor's closet. Lucy went THAT far to get her hubby's attention. And it took that much to do so. It shouldn't have. That's a whole other post by itself.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Self-Image a Big Deal to AM~Erica

So anyway...

I am all about promoting better self image for everyone. Girls really need it, but so do the guys.

Just the other day I had to suck it up to make my point in another blog post, but I saw something today that made me scratch my head.

Not too long ago, there was media coverage of a very brave & outspoken 14-year-old girl who is such a big advocate for self image of girls, she staged a photoshoot stunt in front of Seventeen magazine headquarters to try to convince them to feature just one spread a month that is completely photoshop & airbrush free. I applaud her in her efforts. I do hope more than just Seventeen magazine listens.

We are told to achieve perfection in how we look. I do try to look good & put together...but I am nowhere near "perfect" in the media sense. If we all followed the Hollywood-type guidelines, we'd all be plastic Barbies & Kens. And we'd all look very much alike. UGH!

The whole elective-only plastic surgery bugs me. I know there are those who have done it, but I want you to remember that we were all made in God's image. God doesn't appear just one way, but in a multitude of ways. Mostly in our imperfections. They are supposed to keep us humble. And then we change what God has made us.

Along these lines, Dove has their stance on promoting self image & that we should all feel beautiful in our skin & the imperfections. I love this campaign. It's gone on for years...and it should continue.

However, I have a bone to pick with Dove. Remember when I pointed out something I saw today? It was a Dove commercial. It was about boosting the confidence in girls so they grow up confident. What a great message, right? Here is their current Social Mission commercial/video that I want you to pay attention to:

Why Do 6 Out of 10 Girls Stop Doing What They Love?


OK...did you see what I saw? I know they are trying to get a particular point across, but they went against what they stand for in this very video. All the girls in the video are super adorable. But there are two very awkward girls. They put them in not a good situation. Then the video shows self esteem being promoted in very adorable girls.

This video, though inspiring, makes me sad. The awkward girl self-consiously pulling up her swimsuit & the awkward Asian girl who is shown as a loner in a very frumpy outfit. It makes me want to go hug those two, specifically.

All the other girls are at least shown in a positive light. Dove, your message got across when you say the first set of girls may drop out of what they are involved in...but to throw the other two girls in the mix in such an awkward view wasn't right. Shame on you! Why couldn't these two girls be a part of the group in the end? Why?

People, please remember that every girl, every child & every human needs the self esteem boost. Everyone is beautiful as they are...BEFORE surgery. We all need that reminder.

Dove, you were so close...but keep up the campaign & know that placing ANY girl into a sad & awkward light goes against what you promote.

Hugs to everyone reading this & know you are beautiful! And also...

"...you are good enough, you are smart enough, and, doggonit, people like you!"

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Natural Clinton Really Bugs AM~Erica

So anyway...

I know I've already done a blog post earlier today, but I need to talk about this.

There are some photos surfacing from a trip that is stirring people on the web & in the media. These pictures are of someone that makes me insane to no end. My skin crawls when this particular figure pops up on TV or the internet or by any other means. Mostly because I do not agree with this person. At all. Not how they got to where they are, not how they handle their job...just...UGH!

So, this is why this particular post is important to share. It's because this will probably be the ONLY time in the history of forever that you will see me defend Hillary Clinton.

*shudder* Just the name makes me cringe, but here goes:

Anything that she has or has not done, job-wise, has nothing to do with this post. The pictures that have surfaced is my focus.

Right now, she is being torn down for showing up on a trip without makeup! *GASP* WHAT??? Yes, without makeup. Why? Why would she show herself like that?

But the biggest question about this lewd act is...WHY DOES IT MATTER?????




We are in an age where we are trying so hard to defend & accept body & self image. Especially for females. I'm all about wearing makeup & doing hair to feel better about how I feel. Sometimes it just perks me up. But that's not for every female out there. We need to build each person up as beautiful as they are. No going under the knife & adding diseases to ourselves to be "more beautiful". This is a real struggle right now.

So...you take a strong woman like Hillary *cringe* who shows up as totally herself, she gets blasted for it.

If you are going to blast this person for anything, it should be more of how she has handled herself in the name of the country & how she has gotten to the power she has. It certainly should not be for not having makeup on. Or contacts in for that matter.

For the women out there who have serious allergies, you know when you just can't get the eye makeup on & can't put contacts in because your eyes watered so much or are so itchy? Then it's just weird to put on the rest of your makeup except maybe some lip gloss? Did anyone stop to think about the fact that could have been happening? That's just a theory. It could be ANY reason. It could be that she just wanted to sleep in & not even worry about it.

It's not right that we have to focus on HOW she showed up instead of WHY she showed up. Really?

Believe it or not, I applaud her for laughing the whole thing off. Good for her. And shame on anyone else who had decided to degrade her for that. Find other reasons...like I do. HA!

OK...I've gotta shake off this post. Like I said...I don't like her. At all. That's my opinion. Got it? Let me live with my purple politics. OK?

Now...let's learn to leave the tearing down of self image alone.

Thank you. I have now ended my PSA soapbox.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica