Saturday, February 15, 2014

AM~Erica Doesn't Need All That Stuff

So anyway...

Yesterday seemed to be a big deal to a lot of folk out there. Whether you are one who is in a relationship & was hoping to get or forced to give hearts, cards, flowers, expensive dinner, jewelry...whatever the case...or whether you are the person NOT in a relationship & is dealing with everyone else is getting or being forced to give hearts, cards, flowers, expensive dinner, jewelry...whatever the are dealing with February 14th.

Here's my question for you: why does it matter? Seriously! WHY?

I think I have become bothered, over the years, that February 14th is the one main day out of the year to be showered with love & major affection. Just the mere expectations become a competition! The receiver of such "affections" want to show it off to others...and sometimes gets let down when someone else may have gotten something bigger, better, shinier, more expensive...


There is an unbelievable frenzy that breaks out on Valentine's Day! It's stressful!

OK, OK...I confess...I do celebrate with my hubby. Well..............kinda....

It was 18 years ago, on February 14th, that my hubby & I fell into a holiday trap: we got engaged on Valentine's Day. But I'm not talking that down! We were young & in love. We were caught up in the whirlwind of the idea behind what Valentine's Day has come to be known as in this day & age.

But, with all the stress & over-the-top tokens to proclaim love for one just wasn't enough! We show love to each other ALL OF THE TIME! With tokens & actions, we find our continued love in our everyday lives. That's right...the beauty in the mundane.

So, we don't need no stinkin' Valentine's Day! We do, however, celebrate the anniversary of our Engagement Day. (previous post on it HERE)

We make a big deal about certain milestones in our lives: we celebrate the anniversary of the day we met, we celebrate the anniversary of our first date, we celebrate the day we got engaged, we celebrate our anniversary. These are important connections thru our relationship journey!

Just because we got engaged on February 14th, it doesn't mean I need a $100 bouquet of roses that will wither & die, a $20-30 mylar balloon that will deflate, I don't need a heart-shaped box of chocolates...but I will certainly take the chocolate. I really don't need a card with chintzy hearts all over it. No stuffed animals, no expensive dinner, no blingy jewelry (the only one that mattered was when I said yes to my Prince Charming)...
Just spending time with him & reminiscing while continuing to dream of our future is the most romantic thing!

I'm about to tick off some businesses (i.e., florists, Hallmark, restaurants, jewelers, super stores & drug stores) when I urge you to think about the stress of Valentine's Day! Is it about the gifts & money spent? Or is it about the romance of the attention? And...why do we have to have the pressure of just that one day?

My hubby & I have "a place". We go there for our milestone things. If we weren't engaged on Valentine's Day...I'm not sure we would work going there on that day. Maybe it's life that has set in to open our eyes to the fact that Valentine's Day is so over-blown! We work going out for lunch (like this year) because we have kiddos who have schedules & lives that don't care that it's Valentine's Day, either! So we spread it out. We did it last year, too. Just going out for coffee was fine by us. It's about the time spent together...not the gifts! 

 As a Disney Princess (a reminder HERE), I love that my Prince Charming & I can see past the big show to know that our love is deeper than the biggest bouquet & biggest heart-box of chocolates on the same day that so many others are getting the SAME kind of thing! 

We prefer to share our quiet moments together, in our palace, while the kingdom goes about in madness of raised expectations. In our eyes, it's not about the size of the show, but of the show of affection...FROM THE HEART! It's different for everyone!  Just like each person's individual personality, style, wants & needs...that's how our relationships should be treated. If you are a simple person & then want to be lavished with a lot of expensive gifts just because it's Valentine's Day...and that's not how it is any other might want to stop & reexamine that thought. 

Plus...I question as to why there should be an insane & near-impossible scavenger obstacle course to get these "sentimental tokens of affection." The retailers KNOW what is up! And they will price gauge your pockets out by inflating the prices of things to huge numbers! A $20 bouquet of roses does become a $100 expenditure around Valentine's Day. Heck, even restaurants have "specials" that are actually more expensive than usual on Valentine's Day. Our favorite restaurant even said, as they gave their specials, that they had at least a $1 markup of things because of the holiday! *face palm* 

Schools still give Valentine parties...and it amounts to some cards being handed out & eating some heart-shaped candy, chocolate, red or pink-colored candy, drinking pink punch or red Kool-aide...and that's about it. As much as I loved, Loved, LOVED making Valentine boxes back in the day...what has it really become except for niceties? These are kids, people! CHILDREN!

*ahem*'s what I'm saying: If you are looking for affections to be lavish & expensive just because it's Valentine's might need to reassess your relationship. I'm not talking about those who get engaged or married on that day. Good for you! But is it JUST because it's Valentine's Day? And how do you celebrate it afterward? As an anniversary or Valentine's Day? If you have to have the outward show to prove your significant other's love for're doing it wrong.

There are many ways to show love! They aren't always big proclamations! It's fixing coffee for your love to make sure it's done before they walk out in the morning; it's sharing the couch while the kids are in the room with you...just holding hands; it's sharing your thoughts with each other that, hopefully, includes your dreams for your future together; it's reminiscing about your past & seeing how far you've come...

I have seen this illustration several times...but in great timing... I wrote this blog, one of my favorite FB pages & blogs, Snarky in the Suburbs, had this posted!

Can you be extravagant with each other from time-to-time? Sure! There's anniversaries & birthdays to cover some that...or no reason at all. The pressures of being forced to show love in a spectacle is a bit over-rated.

Grow what's deeper, first. The harvest will be greater. It will show thru if it's constantly taken care of...even if it may not appear as a lot on the's what's being grown on a deeper level.

My hubby & I don't get to spend a lot of time together out in public...however, people always tell us they can see how in love we are. It's starts at home. It starts by planting the seed & allowing it to grow. You aren't going to plant one seed & expect an entire garden harvest next week.

Just some deep thoughts from a princess still in love...thru the mundane...

A simple glance across the kitchen table at breakfast or dinner, just walking up behind your mate to give them a comforting hug; just a kiss before you leave each other's presence & an "I Love You", no matter if you mad at each other or not; just hold hands while you sit on the couch watching the news; a simple compliment on you really like that shirt on them...

Because there are singles out there who don't get this...whether it's by a failed relationship, someone they want to be with, or by forever losing their one-true-love: death, affairs, they fell out of love with you...and it's heartbreaking to have this rubbed into them, too.

How are you treating the look of love? As something very real...or a total charade to make it look like things are great...even if they aren't?

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

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