TV Episode Shakes AM~Erica's Core

So anyway...

I haven't watched a lot of TV for a long time. Schedules are crazy & makes it difficult to keep up with particular shows. Thru the day, I get to skim some of my long time faves like Rachael Ray, Live with Kelly & Michael (still trying to figure out how Kelly & I aren't friends yet), The Queen Latifah Show, The Steve Harvey Show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show...
...but it's difficult to sit down & watch them. As a stay/sometimes-at-home-mama, my attention is still flagged down from family. That's how it is.

But it's even more difficult when it comes to evening shows. We get to catch bits & pieces of shows, but not a whole lot. That schedule thing still makes it difficult. However, we will DVR The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon...because...well...happiness! That's what he brings.
There's also a couple of shows the family can kind of geek out on together. We keep up with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. That show is SO good right now!! It totally helps it's steeped hardcore in the Marvel Universe...and we love Coulson, of course.
We also keep up on the show Sleepy Hollow. Do you? It's a brilliant show!! Between supernatural entities, folklore, and interesting twists on history...this show is smart and intense!

If you aren't fully aware, Ichabod Crane & Abigail Mills are working together as the biblical witnesses to stand up to the end of days. And, yes...the Headless Horseman is still around.

I'm not going to go into too much of the series here, but I want to touch on this week's episode. If you haven't watched it yet, I don't think I'll be giving away anything, but I want to touch this episode's subject matter...

Abby (Abigail Mills) & her sister, Jenny, had a tough childhood. Their mother was put into the local asylum & eventually took her own life. It's brought up several times throughout the series. And they came face-to-face with her situation.
The previews showed they were going to deal with their mother, but I wasn't prepared for what it really covered. At all.
There's a rise in the number of suicides that happen within the walls of the of the institution. And with so much supernatural weirdness going down in Sleepy Hollow, it ends up in Abby's care to look into.

If you remember MY OWN STRUGGLES, I was absolutely not prepared to deal with patients going thru the process of the suicides & attempts. One of the ways shown has been a fleeting thought of a back up plan of my own.
It was so hard to witness! All of this with some heart-breaking & touching mommy moments...I was so emotionally & physically drained from the whole thing. It really took it's toll on me.

However, after thinking about how much the episode shook me to the core so much...I realized something. Tom Mison, who beautifully plays Ichabod Crane, is an essential part of the show. It hit me that he was hardly in the episode. Ichabod comes down ill & is resting off the sickness while Abby, her sister, and a new-found ally take care of most of the episode. Ichabod is nowhere to be found while the suicides are happening & being investigated on site. It's when the situation is resolved that he shows back up feeling much better.

This struck me.

Since Ichabod is part of the duo who is supposed to be taking down the evil of the world in Sleepy Hollow, and then he can't be there for this one...makes me wonder if Tom Mison has had to closely deal with suicide somewhere in his life. Maybe lost someone to suicide...maybe he's attempted. Either way, his character was no where near the situation.

It makes me want to talk to Tom. I want to find out his personal ties to this situation. Because you don't pull a main character out of the story line unless you physically & emotionally cannot act thru the deep scars of something like this...especially if your character doesn't. I know a great actor should be able to...but this one runs deep & his character would supposed to be semi-disconnected to the act itself. If he cannot separate from it easily...something may have happened quite recently. At least recently for him. Maybe it had to be written in that he was ill & had to sleep it off while all of this was going on.

With that said, my friend, Jenn (who I HAVE MENTIONED BEFORE) has brought up the issue of anyone who is closely tied to losing someone to suicide or anyone who still struggles after a failed attempt has a difficult time when a suicide appears on the small or big screen. She brought up the idea that maybe a warning be shown at the beginning, beyond just the typical "viewer discretion advised," but to add a warning that the act of suicide will somehow be covered.

Even though it's discussed in "What Dreams May Come," the act is never shown. That's why I appreciate how the movie handles it. I don't think I ever really encountered seeing the act on screen. Well, I take that back...GLEE actually highlighted an attempt. I didn't handle it well at all. Another one I've come across was before my own attempt. But I'm only just now realizing that.

What I experienced watching the "Mama?" episode of Sleepy Hollow was more than I could bear. There was so much of it. And to have the processes put out there...was...too much.

I also hope that Tom Mison could be one to step up for this kind of change in the entertainment business, if he, indeed, has had close connections to suicide.

I've slept & feel better today. Last night was draining. Crushing. Even though I've been doing so well, that kind of trigger can take everything out of you in a finger snap's time.

How would you feel about that kind of addition to the warnings at the beginning of shows or movies? Would it help you to brace yourself knowing it was coming, or would it deter you from watching at all?

I think if the warning was there, I could brace for it, at least. It may depend on the form of suicide, too. But I realize that part of the information couldn't be given in the warning if it comes to be.

Now then...if you know someone who has been close to suicide in any way, and if you are watching anything with them, please be sensitive to their freak out if something like this surprises them on screen. It's hard. No matter how long it's been. We all still need the support.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Walked Out of the Darkness

So anyway...

Yesterday was draining!
Physically & emotionally...well...draining.

These past few months, I've been asking for support & donations for the AFSP of Greater Kansas (City)'s Out of the Darkness walk.

It's a walk that is a memory walk for the loved ones who lost someone to suicide, as well as those who have &/or still suffer. Teams & individuals raise funds for the awareness that will hopefully lead to the dwindling & eventually the prevention of suicide all together. As these walks grow, it's proof there's work to be done.

A few things happened yesterday that were really powerful. Let me try to pull myself together so I can tell you about it. If I get emotional (which I probably will), just hand me a tissue. I just want the word out...

The 3-mile walk took place at the Richard L. Berkley Riverfront Park. What a beautiful setting! And I heard it would be an emotional, supportive & healing day. Though those words do describe it, it's hard to just tell you about how true these adjectives really were.

I was so excited to see my friend, Jenn. I hadn't seen her in probably 20 years! We reconnected in a big way on Facebook...but not quite the same. If you remember, she's the one that started SOLOS ~ Survivors Of Loved Ones to Suicide. And I knew it was her in the distance! I ran up to her!! Our reconnection was so emotional! I was so happy to see her...just not under these circumstances. But as we talked, we knew God had put us in each other's paths for a reason. And here we were.

Just me & my girl, Jenn.
Love this girl & the reason I decided to tell my story.
She took this selfie of us.

Then I made connections with some pretty wonderful people in the meantime: Caroline Allen & Barb Nelson. These women are powerhouses for this Out of the Darkness walk...and their stories are heartbreaking. Loss of a spouse; loss of children. Mental illness that leads to suicide is a monstrous beast! I am so blessed to have met these women...but again...not under these circumstances.

I was running into people who were commenting on my tutu (of course). And we began to share stories, and we would erupt into fountains of tears, followed by much hugging. So beautifully overwhelming...

I had almost forgotten to check in as I was taking in what was going on around me, so I made sure to do that. As I checked in, the guy marked off my name & exclaimed, "Well, you raised a dollar or two!" He then turned around to get me a tshirt. See, if you raised at least $150, you get a tshirt! Because of some very gracious friends & family, I had raised $1,150 for AFSP! Thank you to those of you who helped with the cause!

Then I went over to get my beads. No, they aren't treated like getting them at Mardi Gras. Instead, there are 8 colors, and you get beads for how you are affected in this cause. I got green & blue beads. Green means I personally suffer, and blue is because I support the cause. I actually got 2 blue beads because I was asked to be a part of the opening ceremonies. I was floored & overwhelmed to even be considered! I was asked to represent those who support the cause...

A wonderfully sweet gal, named Katie Rohr, put the bead ceremony together. There were 8 of us on a tiny stage standing on either side of a decorated metal heart with colored daisies on it, one for each color represented. I was hearing stories of those who lost a partner/spouse, those who lost a sibling, those who lost a parent, those who lost family or close friend, those who lost someone in the military, someone else who suffered personally, and then...there was me. I was already crying listening to the heartbreak of these people standing there with me...in front of about 800 other people. As my name was announced, my story was being read as I placed one of my blue beads onto the decorated heart. Though I was so honored to be a part of it...I felt so insignificant...I knew that I could have been one of those colors of beads around someone else's neck. That's hard to bear. But I stood there on stage in my Team SOLOS shirt & tutu (of course I was wearing a tutu), bundled up in layers (cuz it was COLD), weeping. I couldn't even look at the crowd. It was a tough & beautiful moment.

There's me standing on stage trying not to knock my new friend, Shaun,
off the stage. He is on the AFSP of Greater KS board & a fellow attempt survivor.
He's pretty awesome.

That's my friend, Jenn, talking! And me on stage, plus me walking.
My high school friend, Amanda, got these pics!

A pic from Barbi (who was a fellow walker that I went to high school with)
Just me walking with Amanda & her son with his friend

Then we cleared the stage to make way for a couple of speakers...one of them was Jenn. She was beautifully eloquent about losing her mother, what it meant to her, and how she's helping others others with their grief thru SOLOS. And she is what inspired me to step forward with my story so maybe I could help others who are not only in my position, but also to try to help others who do not struggle learn to have conversation & to help break the stigma. So I owe a lot to Jenn.

We also heard from Susie, the Chiefs' Cheerleader who rides Warpaint!

As the opening ceremonies were winding down, the teams began to gather & the walk began. For those that could, there were 3 loops around, a little over a mile each. I got to talk to some from high school that I probably hadn't talked to since...well...high school. I also got to meet a few on the team I didn't know at all, also. And still more stories were coming as to why those of us were walking that day.

And I was glad my girl, Monica, came to join us this year, too!

When the walk was finishing up, the walkers were gathered back together for some closing ceremonies. There were about 4 participants who were honored for raising $1,000 or more for the cause. Remember how much you all helped me raise? Yep! I was called up to the stage! And I got a certificate, a ribbon, an AFSP pin & an AFSP Out of the Darkness bracelet. Oh...and a hug from Barb Nelson.

Me on stage with Barb Nelson

It then went on to the reading of names of loved ones lost to suicide. My friend, Jenn was asked to do this along with my new friend, Caroline. Wow! That was heartbreaking! And moving...
It was followed my a moment of silence for all of these who we lost...
Then there was a balloon release with names & messages of & for those lost to suicide.

A pic of the balloon release from Barbi.
Isn't it beautiful?

It was pointed out that the tears shed this day were not of sadness, but of healing.
Pardon me...I'm getting verklempt...

*ahem*

As things were winding down, and raffles were being handed out, I knew I needed to head out. It had been a long & emotional day. And I met some wonderful people, and got to reconnect with others. It was beautiful.

As I come away from this event, I know this is where a passion of mine is. It was certainly cemented at the walk.

I have also taken first steps into my field advocacy for AFSP. The ball is rolling & I'm looking forward to getting the word out, to stop the stigma, to open conversation, and to make sure those who need treatment get the treatment they need.

I know there are many out there who are grieving those they have lost to suicide. And with the stigma still so high, it can be so hard to grasp. But please know, these people who suffer do not choose suicide, they don't want to suffer anymore &/or be a burden to others. Please understand their reality becomes different during an episode they go thru. I want to be clear on this.

But, there's those of us who are still here. We don't know why, but we are. And we realize there's family hurting because of it. It's that high stigma & expectation thing, I guess. But to the families who still deal with the grieving that almost happened...let your family member know you are glad they are still here. Don't hold the resentment. Somehow there's another chance. More life has been given. And it's OK to talk about it. We NEED to talk about it! I know the more I talk about my struggles, the less likely something will happen. Because I still suffer from time-to-time. I don't choose it. None of us do.

And for those who are in my shoes, and I know you (or a loved one) is still here after a failed attempt, I walked for you. I honored each & every one of you that I knew of.

So, I walked in a way that would honor you (them) by wearing the initials of those of us who are failures...and are still here to talk about it.
I will never give a story out. Several have come to me with their own struggles or a struggle within their family/friend circle. I also know it's tough for many still. So if you come to me, I will never give out those stories. They are not for me to tell. But I will keep you in thought & prayer. And with initials on a bracelet during the walk.

I have something special I will be doing with these bracelets. And if I had your initials, I will be contacting you soon. I walked for you & the fact that we are still here. A walk of healing among grieving folks who actually lost someone. We are here to tell our stories in our own time. Heck, it took me over 20 years.

And now there's work to be done. Stories to share, conversations to be had, stigma to drop. We can do this. We ALL can help!!

Be watching...I may be helping with these walks next year...I have an in!

As always, thank you all for your support!

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Sees Heightened Awareness

So anyway...

I am one who gets shocked &/or saddened by any celebrity death. Then I ponder their life, career, family, fans...and it gets really sad. But then August 11th was different. Very different.

Not only America, but the whole world, lost one of the greatest legendary talents & biggest entertainment icons in all of forever...

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." 

                                                                                      ~ Robin Williams

We lost the spark of Robin Williams' greatness. Gone. Just like that.

Gone.

Though I get shocked &/or saddened by celebrity deaths...this one was different. 

This man who I remember so well in my young life & on my family's television screen would wear long red pajamas with a big silver triangle on the chest or rainbow suspenders while uttering alien phrases like:
"Shazbot" & "Na-nu Na-nu".

Then I remember a great movie that brought a cartoon to life. I still love watching the corny cheesiness of "Popeye", along with it's catchy tunes.

I remember knowing about "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!!" I didn't get to watch it until years later.

Then, my view of Robin changed in a deeply changing movie for me. A story so brilliant, it was in a rigid ruled-school where the same gender dressed alike & were expected to be cookie cutters to enter the world...when an English teacher broke that mold. Ripping up a rule book & letting them know about a bigger world out there...and letting them know they are individuals. Oh...and using their smarts at the same time. The story has a tragic turn...and a situation happens that mirrored Robin's actual end 25 years later. And the tribute of acknowledgment still remains. "Oh Captain! My Captain!" It remains one of my all time favorite movies.

From a spin on Peter Pan to being Aladdin's Genie, to playing a cross-dressing nanny to see his kids to getting lost in a magical game, from heights of goofy or even dark comedy to hardcore dramatic roles, and to amazing standup & living in total improv...he made people cry. Whether it was with laughter, or with sadness...his gifts knew no bounds. At least to our knowledge...

In fact, he had been battling demons of depression & addiction for years. One of the most kindest, gentlest human beings who could light up a room or screen just by showing up was the same one who hurt so much. And, he was such an amazing actor that he could use his gift of humor and a well-chisled mask to cover the pain to the naked eye.

I had not heard any of the derogatory remarks about this, personally, until I came across something this morning. I came across a doubting remark from someone, who obviously does not suffer or is not aware of those who do, as to why the passing of this celebrity is so monumental. 

And I am going to keep this death out there since I am a passionate advocate of the very thing that killed him: Mental Illness.

No, many of us didn't know him personally...but...he made his way into our lives in amazing ways. It should also make all of us realize this nasty disease really can happen to anyone. And if it can take someone like Robin...then imagine what it may be doing to the person next to you while you may have no idea. His death should be making us talk about why the stigma still lingers. It makes mental illness even more real.

As a reminder as to why I advocate for this SO much is because I do suffer. (the reminder of my coming forward HERE) I have also attempted to take my own life because I was hurting SO badly on the inside. (reminder of that coming forward HERE) But when I attempted, and obviously failed, I had no idea I was dealing with this madness. It took years before it was brought to light in the midst of another very low time. It all began to make sense. Because I didn't know I needed help at that time.

You know what? I know of those close to me who refuse to acknowledge what I just told you, above. When I begin to advocate & make this awful illness known from my own experience, I know the ones who blow me off. I have also heard, from those close to me, that those with depression just have issues & they need to get over it. Ugh! If only it were that easy. It's not. 

Along the same lines, I am really hurt by those who talk about suicide being some selfish decision & that it shouldn't be lifted up in awareness. It's actually disgusting to know that people who have no idea what those of us who do deal with it actually go thru. At least try to understand & to listen. 

I am so thankful for my husband. Though he's never really been in my shoes, he sees what it can do. He can see it's not some decision I've made to cower in a corner & just be a shell of me. He tries to help me talk it thru, or knows to leave me alone for a little while, but is always checking. I appreciate him so much for that...and just another reason why I love him so much.

A former pastor of mine, mentor to my husband, and still very good friend, Geoff, also suffers. He wrote an amazing blog post when the world found out about the death of Robin Williams. I would like for you to take a moment & read it HERE. And, interestingly enough...I have noticed that some who blow off my story (like it never happened) have rushed to Geoff's blog postings (by him or others) & and 'liked' it on Facebook. I'm hoping it's like when your own kids don't listen to you, but if someone else says it, then it sinks in. Maybe it will start to sink in.

Also, for any doubters & those who spew any level of vile lies about suicide...I challenge you to actually look at the resources that have been so readily available since Robin's death, and actually for quite some time before that. Read it. All of it. And if you refuse to read it, then please do not give a misguided opinion on what you, the unaffected,  believe mental illness, suicide, and their connection is about. Because...you are usually in the presence of at least one person everyday, unless you live under a rock or a complete hermit, that is suffering or has suffered from mental illness. 

The autopsy results came out for Robin. They are gruesome...and it shows how much despair he must've truly been in. A pain so great that he was doing anything to longer be a burden to others in his life. Which is not true...but he was not in a reality mindset. He must've been in such darkness that the only way out was to leave life. There was so much good happening for him that he could not see by the clouded view of mental illness.

Why should we be talking about this celebrity who did something so awful when so many other people have done the same thing & we aren't talking about them? This is not just some other celebrity death. Life is precious. But we don't all know each other. However, we are all familiar with Robin Williams. It's the familiarity of the name & the person that has all of us realizing what we have lost in this person, collectively. Should we be lifting up these other folks? Absolutely!

My friend, Jenn, has an amazing support system she has created. I want each of you to go check out SOLOS - Survivors Of Loved Ones to Suicide (HERE). She created it after losing her mom to suicide. And I want you to read the stories shared thru SOLOS. This is one way to bring this nasty disease to the forefront, as well as having names of loved people attached to it. 

Because I'm a failure, I am so honored to be walking Out of the Darkness on October 4th. This is raising funds & awareness for those who have been lost to suicide, those who continue to fight suicide (like myself), and the mental illness(es) that can lead to these. Here's where you can help in this. Be a philanthropist & give to this cause. Here's a couple of ways:

You can fund my fundraising effort HERE. I have raised my goal again since that last post. So anything to help would be amazing! Or you can also click on the graph at the top right of this blog page.
You can also join us on Team SOLOS HERE, and you can join in the cause & raise funds, too.

click above photo for fundraising page & story

For the next 9 days, ONLY (as of today), you can support my friend, Jenn (our team captain), by showing your support & getting your own t-shirt HERE. This is the shirt most of us will be wearing for the walk.

click above picture to purchase a SOLOS shirt

Your help would be greatly appreciated!

Do you know what else would make me & many others grateful? Educate yourselves. Keep educating yourselves. I do...often. Just reading an article or two is not enough. Another thing to do is to talk to someone who actually has suffered or who does suffer. Know that there is not going to be a lot of logic in what you hear. It's because the brain is sick & has difficultly deciphering why we are so down, alone...even when others are around. If you want us to find help, quit using us as a punchline or looking down on those of us who go thru it. 

On September 10th is World Suicide Awareness Day. Just to let you know, the high-profile Robin Williams will be used as an example then, too. Be ready.

So...for all of you who question why we are even talking about a 63yo celebrity, named Robin Williams, who died due to mental illness & suicide...this is why. For those of you who are annoyed by those of us who have banded together in great grief over this particular passing, be wary as to what words you spew. We should mourn any suicide that happens. Because it could be any of us at any time. I'm envious of those of you who don't understand. It's a sad & broken place to be in.

If you go back & watch "What Dreams May Come," please pay attention to how suicide is covered. I grieved that part in the movie. I felt every moment of it...because I get it. 

Please do not turn your nose up or back upon this very real thing in anyone...celebrity or not. At times I still get that low. And if you don't understand that, then try to attempt to understand & get educated. Otherwise you are spewing hate against a very misunderstood illness.

And now, in our sadness, we should take some solace that Robin's soul may now rest.

And let us not allow Robin's spark to be completely lost &, instead, let's allow it burn brighter as we carry it on like a torch...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica has Raised the Goal

So anyway...

If you read my last post (HERE), you can see I am asking for help to walk Out of the Darkness.

Since then...big & generous things have transpired!!

Due to a few who are very moved, touched & committed to this cause because they suffer or know someone close to them who has suffered, or even have a loved one who died by suicide...the contributions to my fundraising page have been emotional for me.

My original goal was $150; the Team SOLOS goal was $500 overall. I surpassed both goals in less than 2 days due to some very generous donors. Just overwhelming...and amazing!

Well, I already have $660 donated, at the time of this post...which includes a donation from my very supportive & wonderfully loving husband. So, I've slightly raised my goal from here to $750.

I am one that hates asking for money. I'm not the fundraising-type of person. But I am unbelievably passionate about this cause! As someone who as suffered depression & failed my suicide attempt...my story tends to resonate with folks. The private conversations I have had with several have been moving! And I'm so grateful I am able to have these conversations.

The stigma must go! I have found that I am in a rare few who have opened up about my struggles. The numbers who actually suffer is astronomical! And it's the downtrodden comments, looks & overall judgmental responses from those who don't understand is exactly what keeps so many from telling their own stories of struggle. And believe me when I say that I have certainly heard some those & read some of those judgmental comments.

Even though the walk is happening in October, won't you help me & my team do our part to help beat this illness, stop the suicides, and just get rid of the stigma so those who struggle with these thoughts & feelings won't implode from feeling so embarrassed by what society says is OK & isn't?

If you click on my picture, below, it will take you to my Out of the Darkness fundraising page. Pray on it if you don't struggle or haven't been affected by this illness & if there's a spot in your heart to help out, we would appreciate it. If you ARE or have been affected (either yourself or someone close to you) by depression & mental illness that can lead to suicide, or by losing someone to suicide, let's beat this! Let's fight this fight! Even if you can only do $5...that's $5 more toward the research & resources needed. The donations are 100% tax deductible, too!! There will be more info on my fundraising page...

Click the image for my story & to donate

And if I get to my $750 goal...that's awesome!!! I look to raise my goal again. Considering my original goal was $150...this is HUGE!! Who else wants to step up? Anyone wanna force me to raise my goal again?? Let's do this!

Also...if you are one of the ones who have struggled in any way (either yourself or a loved one), and if you are or can be in the KC area on October 4th...you can walk with us, too. Let me know so I can get the info to you to join Team SOLOS (Survivors Of Loved Ones to Suicide)!

Your help would be appreciated & would help so many!! Plus...I got a bunch of '6's going on this moment. Not so fond of that either! ($660 raised by 6 generous donors...would you be donor 7? Even for $5?)

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica is Gonna Walk Out of the Darkness

So anyway...

I'm gonna do it this time. I am...I'm actually gonna do it...

This girl, right here, is going to walk out of the darkness.

I was asked to so this last year, but I could not work it.

The time is coming, and I am so moved to finally be a part of this.

If you haven't figured out by now, I have picked up running. (reminder HERE) I have even done a couple of races...with some more on the way very soon. Several of them are raising money for different charities. Most of the ones I've seen & looked into all have the donation from sent from your registration fee.

Well...I have now registered for a 5k coming up this fall. It's a walk. It's the walk Out of the Darkness. And it's a fundraiser to help with research & resources, as well as bring suicide awareness.

This is where I will need YOUR help!

On October 4th, I am walking with a team. Team SOLOS has graciously asked me to be a part of their team. Survivors Of Loved Ones to Suicide is headed up by my friend, Jenn, who lost her mother to suicide. And she has actively & beautifully been building a support system to family & friends who grieve for their loved ones due to suicide. And the stories are heartbreaking.

Jenn has been a friend of mine since high school, and who I haven't seen face-to-face since that time. And I have been so glad to have reconnected with her in the last couple of years. And she has become quite a rock for me in my own struggles.

My #SelfiePortraitProject, "Overthinking"

If you click HERE, you will get to the blog tab of my blog posts about my own struggles of depression & suicide. And it will tell you a lot as to why I have been so moved to have her ask me to be apart of this. But she knows I need it, too.

I will be in a group of thousands who have lost those they love due to suicide. That's overwhelming. And I'm sure there will be others who are in my very position, too. That's terrifying...and beautiful. It means we are fighting the fight. We are fighting the fight for the ones who will surround us who are still living in the aftermath they were dealt. They didn't ask for it. But it happened. And I will be in that atmosphere...as the failure I am. Which is a good thing, by the way...

WHEW! Geez...I'm chilled thinking about it. And I know how important it is.

I have also, very recently, come to the understanding of the beatitude, "The meek shall inherit the earth," may possibly be referring to using our weaknesses as our strength to help others with our same weakness. We just keep using our sympathetic reach from our soul to help each other out. And then prevail! Over and over and over again...

So here's where I ask for your help.

I have a personal goal of raising at least $150 BY October 4th. My team's goal is $500 overall. Anything over that is incredible & generous bonus!

If you click on the link, below, you can donate to the cause. I also have a link set up, to your right at the top of the page, that you can also use until October 4th as I continue to blog about the insanity of my life.

I want to thank you in advance for anything you can do. Especially if you are struggling with these things, or if you have lost someone to suicide...let's try to work on the research to move forward in getting rid of these suicides & the attempts, the depression & mental illness that leads to it.

Our local news station, Fox 4 KC, lost a very popular weather guy, Don Harmon, to suicide. It was a shock across the city. But the news anchors & staff continue to do stories keeping depression & suicide in the forefront of some of their newscasts, as well as doing commercial spots reminding viewers that, "You Matter."

Yes. You. You matter! Let's keep this rolling...as I work on my own journey as I continue to walk Out of the Darkness.

My #SelfiePortraitProject, "Out of the Darkness"

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

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UPDATE!!!

Due to a very generous donor who this cause has effected greatly, not only is my personal goal met...but my team goal, too!!! But don't let that deter you!! The more we can get for research & resources, the better!! I still ask for your help for the sake of the cause! Thank you!!