AM~Erica's Choice for Ofrenda

So anyway...

As I enjoy keeping Halloween sorts of things going as long as possible (Right? Click HERE to begin to be reminded.), I stumbled upon one of the greatest cultural celebrations ever, about a year & a half ago! It falls on November 2nd, and is the Mexican holiday of Dios De Los Muertos (aka - Day of the Dead).

It's a little frightening, yet beautiful. It celebrates & remembers those who have gone before us. It's like the All Saints Day that we have come to know it, but with great celebration! Celebrating our loved ones (family &/or friends) is an amazing thought.

There is also beautiful attire for it. There is this fabulous thing called "sugar skull." It is decorated skeletons & skulls. You make yourself look like one, and/or do it by decorating in bright flowers & beautiful colors.

Some of you may or may not be surprised that I tried my own hand at making myself into a sugar skull for the sake of celebration last year:

I have totally become fascinated by this. The whole thing. I started a Pinterest board on the celebration, too. You can have a gander at it HERE. No really...go check it out! It's my board with the most followers by far!

There is also something called "ofrenda"...or the offering for your passed loved one(s). The ofrenda includes things like favorite foods, pictures, drinks...things to remember those who have gone on before us.

Yesterday, I came across something while shopping at Target...

My hubby & I were glancing around at the Halloween stuff on clearance. As we gazed & were still thoroughly entertained by things we were finding, I came across something...

This made me smile...and then giggle...and then I pulled out my phone to take a pic so I could text...it...to...

...oh...wait...never mind...I just started crying instead. Seriously crying. No pic taken of "Trick Arrrr Treat" to send on the Pirate's Booty Halloween pack. Because my instinct was to send it to my friend, RENEE'. And I remembered that I couldn't. It's been just over a year since she passed, and I was ready to send her that pic. And I just stood there crying as I stood next to my hubby in Target. It was ridiculous, but I was really missing my friend in that moment. Thankfully my hubby redirected my attention with his crazy-witty humor as we moved along to the Christmas candy aisle to cheer me back up. Because I really wanted Renee' to get as big of a kick out of that moment as I did. Because I know she would have...

And now, here we are: November 2nd. It's Dios De Los Muertos...and part of my ofrenda had been placed in front of me for my friend. So I got 3 boxes worth. And they are perfect. Not just for the ofrenda that makes me think of Renee', but also because when I got a couple bags of the snack for ITLAP DAY, I discovered that Lil Guy really likes it, too! Now I just need to get Naked (the smoothie drink, folks) to finish off that part of the ofrenda in remembrance of my friend.

 I also want to add Starbuck's, chocolate & sushi to this iAltar to my friend...covered with pink flowers

I will also be remembering MY GRANDMOTHER, who left us 2 & a half years ago. I still get several reminders from her, too. Like the sweet little lady who joined our church recently...
Her man is Santa! And she is his Mrs. Claus...that resembles my grandmother so much. When they joined our church...it shook me to my core at the resemblance! From her stature, to her smile, to her facial structure, to her gentle spirit...yeah...so much.

I want to use this pic of Will Ferrell as a part of my
ofrenda choice for my grandmother. Not only because of the butterflies,
but she would have found this funny. It's right along the lines of our family's humor.

So, today, November 2nd, Dios De Los Muertos will be semi-celebrated as I remember my grandmother & my friend. Love them & miss them so much.

May you, too, take a moment today to remember yours, too. Eat &/or drink something in their honor. Or have something Mexican or Mexican-inspired (here's a few ideas HERE or from my Mexican food Pinterest board HERE).

Also...keep those who have left the Earth before us close to your heart. Like a makeshift ofernda display like I did here:

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Gets Tidal Wave of Butterfly Moments

So anyway...

Thru this past weekend, even though I DIDN'T GET TO COMICON (actual reason given right HERE) as hoped, I did get flagged down with something else...well...someone else.

With some of the things that I've noticed, it hit me that it's been 6 months since MY FRIEND PASSED AWAY. I had shared a couple of the stories in the previous post about her...so it would be hard pressed for a couple of these other things to be popping up like this...

It began back in February. As I watched the Super Bowl & the commercials, imagine my surprise when this Budweiser commercial came on:

I know this one got to a lot of people. It's so sweet! But I just wept...this very song, even Stevie Nicks singing it, was played at Renee's funeral. So to have it turn up during the Super Bowl was such a shock! It was a bittersweet moment. It really was.

Football with Renee: Tailgating work party. 
My SIL was the Chiefs player...Renee & I did "The Perfect Cheer".

Lately, they've picked up the frequency of the commercial on TV...and I weep or get choked up every time. Seriously. Every. Single. Time.

When I got word that she passed away, I was talking with her sweet mom...and she asked me if there was any music that maybe should be played at the funeral. I was in such shock, I cannot even believe that the song "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks popped right into my head! I don't listen to that song very often. I don't have it on any playlists. It was divine intervention...I know it! Renee would always wear these flowy tops & she'd run over to me to sing & sway like Stevie Nicks...her arms out to the side like wings so we could marvel at the flow of the blouse.
And I have gone back to listen to the lyrics of that song often since then. They were actually very fitting for her. Looking for love and acceptance no matter what was happening. Things in the world would change...and she would put herself out there. She was loved...but not always accepted by some that she really wanted that acceptance from. And that song popped into my head to have her mom play. And I've heard it more since then. Go figure.

*~*~*

And then...when I go by the mall lately, I can hear her laugh. Some of you who knew her know what I'm talking about: her loud, girly, giggly laugh. I started thinking about at what point I would hear it...then it hit me...there's a store that sells these big, wild, blingy purses. If you are in my area & know the mall...it's the one right by the smelly stores (i.e. Bath & Body Works and Yankee Candle). I know she wants me to buy one. But I'm not. It's not my style...but I will love to hear her laughing when I walk by that store. Because I miss it.

*~*~*

Teen Girl's in a play coming up. And we were talking about it at the family get-together the other day. Somehow it came up about Stevie Nicks...since the theatre teacher idolizes Stevie Nicks. And it brought that song rushing right back...

*~*~*

And then...I was chatting with my very dear friend, Princess Jules, last night. We got talking about cakes...and she brought up something that floored me! She talked about her chocolate turd cake. She was worried I would be so grossed out by the sound of it...but...I was glad I was sitting down, or I might have hit the floor. You see...Renee was probably the only person to ever get me to eat something called a "turd". It was a Belgian chocolate truffle, and she had a crate of them at her desk. So...seeing more of the commercial with the song, hearing her giggle as I pass big & blingy purses, then...there was this. That's what put her absolute presence over-the-top...and she used a very trusted friend to convince me to eat a chocolate turd.

*~*~*

It causes me to reflect back on my short time on Earth with my friend. And cannot believe it's been 6 months since I last talked to her AND her passing. It's been 6 months, and there are still so many reminders. They really did build up a lot within a couple of days, too. I mentioned it on Facebook last night. Another dear friend said that she lost her mother about a year & a half ago...and still sees reminders all of the time. She called them "Butterfly Moments". I couldn't properly put out there how much that meant. Especially after my connection to butterflies anyway...and the BUTTERFLY CONNECTION TO MY GRANDMOTHER.

I took a moment & thought about this: I wore a butterfly maxi dress to Renee's funeral. And, over the weekend, and as I looked down at the moment, I was wearing this:

This is a stretchy ring I found at Kohl's, on clearance, that I thought would be perfect to wear for Easter...which I did. But I was drawn to wear it thru this past weekend, too. And I ended up having several "Butterfly Moments".

I am so moved by all of this. I am so overwhelmed by the rush of memories that have been coming at me in waves. The tide was certainly high this weekend.

Truly, I am thankful that such a beautiful spirit was in my life. Even for such a short time. I miss her. But love the memories that remain.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

AM~Erica Wanted it to be a Dream

So anyway...

I want to tell you all about someone I met almost 11 & a half years ago. I met Renee on my first day of work. Several of us went out to lunch on that first day, a first day that I shared with someone else. Renee was training the other one who started with me.

Over the first few weeks, I started getting to know Renee & her fabulously quirky personality. Over-the-top & innuendo-filled conversations led to a crazy-fun friendship. But we also got to know the deeper part of each other's personalities & began supporting each other thru work situations & beyond. She was single & going thru some relationships that were not the best. She helped & supported me emotionally thru some things I was going thru, too.

We went to lunch often & had several "adventures". I think my favorite one was the time we took a lunch break to walk around Wild Oats (connected to Whole Foods stores). There were samples everywhere that day. At that time, there was a fairly new snack food on the market called Pirate Booty. There was some out to be sampled. It a puffed corn snack, and we decided to try some. We ended up at the deli where she got Naked-brand drink with her lunch. When we got back to the office, people were generally curious as to what we'd been up to. That day was no different. So when asked what we did over lunch, we told people, "Well, we got ourselves some pirate booty & Renee got naked." Well...it was true! And the looks on our co-workers' faces was totally priceless!

Another one, that I still talk about often, is when she introduced me to the "little Chinese buffet" that we worked close to. It was run by a group of Mexicans. There was a taco bar at the back of the Chinese buffet. We would go eat there & the little Latino guy would seat us, and he would ask, "How many?" Renee would hold up 2 fingers & proclaim, "DOS!" *snort* I miss that...

Eventually, Renee began having some health issues. I eventually had a dramatic exit to the workplace. As I left, I called Renee to tell her I would not be returning. I do know she didn't stay much longer & she called to tell me that she turned in her notice. 

We kept up with each other for sometime. Our staying connected slowed, but didn't stop. I was very concerned about her health. She went thru some things that I didn't know about & I got onto her that she needed to at least have her mom call me if she was in too bad a shape to tell me if things were not going well.

At one point, her mom did call me. She was in a situation where her mom had hoped that I could contact her to maybe help Renee feel better. So I did call. I talked to Renee & I was very worried about her. And I did what I could to talk her thru that rough time. She did get thru it & was getting back on her feet...but she had more health issues that drug her back down.

I would check on her occasionally, and she would check in with me, too.

During an up time, I got to meet her for lunch & I was so excited about it! Then she had more health things happen. I did get to see her about 3 years ago when she came to hear my hubby preach while we were in town. Her mom had to bring her, but it was so good to see her & give her a big ol' hug!

We've talked on the phone a few times since then & had hoped to get together. Her health & our schedules kept conflicting. But we talked from time-to-time.

A couple of days ago, I got a call from her. She had told me she was going thru more crazy health stuff, about her crazy stay in rehab after a surgery she needed to have. She sounded good. She sounded positive & we were planning on getting together once she got out of there! I couldn't wait to see her cane that she was going to have bedazzled! And it was the first conversation we'd had since we first met that we only talked about the here-&-now. We didn't talk about our past adventures, but where we were going to go from that moment on. Before we got off the phone, we said good bye & shared our love for one another. Like sisters, we could pick up at any point in our friendship like we never lost a day. And I couldn't wait to talk to her very soon once she got out of the health facility.

So I thought it was very weird to receive a call from her last night, late. I missed the call, but saw there was a voicemail. It was from her mother...*gulp*

She was trying to track down "Renee's friend, Erica." Eventually...the words came out of her mouth: Renee passed away in her sleep.

I've been afraid of hearing these words for years...but certainly not after the conversation I had JUST HAD with her. It's devastating. She was about 6 weeks out of turning 42...

This is a difficult day. I keep replaying the last couple of days in my head. I took notes that her mom gave me about where the funeral will be. I look at them knowing it's reality...wishing it wasn't.

Last night was a fabulous night with friends at our own Oktoberfest that we'd been planning for weeks. I got the call literally as the last guests were leaving. Such a high to such a low in the snap of a finger.

You know those dreams you have that are so weird, or euphoric, or awesome that turn really awful, or scary, or sad so quickly? That was my night. I was hoping it was a dream like that...and just that: a dream. But it is, in fact, reality. One I must deal with. One that has a crushing outcome. One that is devastating.

I await the funeral arrangements & dread going. Because it doesn't seem possible.

It was a blindsided blessing I got. I got to tell my friend goodbye & that I loved her. Not everyone gets to do that. But she didn't call me to say she had cancer or that she had a short time to live. She was planning her life afterward. And I was in that plan. That's what makes it so hard.

I pray for her mom to deal with all of this. It's the only blood family she really had left. There are cousins around & an aunt, too...but her mom is the one who was taking care of her & hoping to get her back on her feet.

Last night was such a hard conversation with her mom. I'm still in shock. So are many others.

I am going to miss this beautiful & kindred spirit of mine. Terribly. She was like a sister. And we will have no more wacky adventures. So my memories are going to have to do me just fine. And they will. It's just hard right now.

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica