Thru this past weekend, even though I DIDN'T GET TO COMICON (actual reason given right HERE) as hoped, I did get flagged down with something else...well...someone else.
With some of the things that I've noticed, it hit me that it's been 6 months since MY FRIEND PASSED AWAY. I had shared a couple of the stories in the previous post about her...so it would be hard pressed for a couple of these other things to be popping up like this...
It began back in February. As I watched the Super Bowl & the commercials, imagine my surprise when this Budweiser commercial came on:
I know this one got to a lot of people. It's so sweet! But I just wept...this very song, even Stevie Nicks singing it, was played at Renee's funeral. So to have it turn up during the Super Bowl was such a shock! It was a bittersweet moment. It really was.
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| Football with Renee: Tailgating work party. My SIL was the Chiefs player...Renee & I did "The Perfect Cheer". |
Lately, they've picked up the frequency of the commercial on TV...and I weep or get choked up every time. Seriously. Every. Single. Time.
When I got word that she passed away, I was talking with her sweet mom...and she asked me if there was any music that maybe should be played at the funeral. I was in such shock, I cannot even believe that the song "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks popped right into my head! I don't listen to that song very often. I don't have it on any playlists. It was divine intervention...I know it! Renee would always wear these flowy tops & she'd run over to me to sing & sway like Stevie Nicks...her arms out to the side like wings so we could marvel at the flow of the blouse.
And I have gone back to listen to the lyrics of that song often since then. They were actually very fitting for her. Looking for love and acceptance no matter what was happening. Things in the world would change...and she would put herself out there. She was loved...but not always accepted by some that she really wanted that acceptance from. And that song popped into my head to have her mom play. And I've heard it more since then. Go figure.
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And then...when I go by the mall lately, I can hear her laugh. Some of you who knew her know what I'm talking about: her loud, girly, giggly laugh. I started thinking about at what point I would hear it...then it hit me...there's a store that sells these big, wild, blingy purses. If you are in my area & know the mall...it's the one right by the smelly stores (i.e. Bath & Body Works and Yankee Candle). I know she wants me to buy one. But I'm not. It's not my style...but I will love to hear her laughing when I walk by that store. Because I miss it.
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Teen Girl's in a play coming up. And we were talking about it at the family get-together the other day. Somehow it came up about Stevie Nicks...since the theatre teacher idolizes Stevie Nicks. And it brought that song rushing right back...
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And then...I was chatting with my very dear friend, Princess Jules, last night. We got talking about cakes...and she brought up something that floored me! She talked about her chocolate turd cake. She was worried I would be so grossed out by the sound of it...but...I was glad I was sitting down, or I might have hit the floor. You see...Renee was probably the only person to ever get me to eat something called a "turd". It was a Belgian chocolate truffle, and she had a crate of them at her desk. So...seeing more of the commercial with the song, hearing her giggle as I pass big & blingy purses, then...there was this. That's what put her absolute presence over-the-top...and she used a very trusted friend to convince me to eat a chocolate turd.
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It causes me to reflect back on my short time on Earth with my friend. And cannot believe it's been 6 months since I last talked to her AND her passing. It's been 6 months, and there are still so many reminders. They really did build up a lot within a couple of days, too. I mentioned it on Facebook last night. Another dear friend said that she lost her mother about a year & a half ago...and still sees reminders all of the time. She called them "Butterfly Moments". I couldn't properly put out there how much that meant. Especially after my connection to butterflies anyway...and the BUTTERFLY CONNECTION TO MY GRANDMOTHER.
I took a moment & thought about this: I wore a butterfly maxi dress to Renee's funeral. And, over the weekend, and as I looked down at the moment, I was wearing this:
This is a stretchy ring I found at Kohl's, on clearance, that I thought would be perfect to wear for Easter...which I did. But I was drawn to wear it thru this past weekend, too. And I ended up having several "Butterfly Moments".
I am so moved by all of this. I am so overwhelmed by the rush of memories that have been coming at me in waves. The tide was certainly high this weekend.
Truly, I am thankful that such a beautiful spirit was in my life. Even for such a short time. I miss her. But love the memories that remain.
Stay tuned...
God Bless, AM~Erica
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