AM~Erica Seems Stuck on Shell Mountain

So anyway...

This is going to be another one of those posts where I'm just venting my feelings. Not one I will openly share on social media, but if you have come across this post...be warned.

In the last POST LIKE THIS ONE, I really had my heart torn out of my chest. Or it felt that way. I am back in that place. It sucks.

Part of it is hormonal right now...and lots of migraines. Weather changes & stress are all mixed in that ugly, poisonous cocktail. And I get grumpy. I say things I shouldn't. But this time around really got me down.

In the last few days, the same words keep ringing in my ears & resonating throughout my head:

"...not that it matters...but..."

And it's weird cuz I can totally hear it in the voice, too. The voice of Shell Mountain: Morla, the Ancient One. Remember her? The incredibly large, fantastical tortise from "Never Ending Story"?

Yeah...her. And that's what I feel like right now. A gloomy, grumpy turtle with answers that probably no one will listen to. The one mistaken for a landmark until it's too late. The one who dwells in the Swamp of Sadness. Yeah...describes me right now. And about the same level of care.

And I feel myself sinking into the swamps. Not that it matters...

*sigh*

You remember the sad moment when Atreyu is trying to get Artax out of the sadness after that? Remember when the swamp consumes him anyway? Yeah...that. But I'm still trucking on like Atreyu...in the sadness as I trudge along in the mud of the emotion...with the sad synthesizer music in the background...

*sigh*

Yeah...that...

And I hope to shake the feeling of this swamp soon. Before I'm consumed by more than just the swamp...but consumed by the Nothing.

With the amount of disregard & disrespect I've gotten from most of the kids...and just kicked to the side...yeah...this is where I'm at. And it all hits at once.

So for now...I will deal with this emotion & what the migraines do to me...

...not that it matters...but...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica