Wednesday, January 23, 2013

AM~Erica Feels So Guilty

So anyway...

Our Lil Guy, who JUST HAD A BIRTHDAY, is really something else. And we are still glad that he is not yet embarrassed by us being around. Actually, he's still in the stage where he's happy to show us off...

Lately, things have been crazy. Our kiddos are all involved in totally different things. So trying to get them to & from practices/rehearsals while trying to make as many events as possible while having hubby with a very busy schedule with his's tiring. It turns my stomach when we (or either hubby &/or I) have to miss any of the events. It breaks my heart.

Now, there are things my hubby has to be at. There's no way around it. He tries to finagle things a bit, and always tries his best to put the family events first! Always! And there are days when we need a flow chart to keep up with each other & what all is going on!

Now then...Lil Guy doesn't always remember how busy we all are. He's been dying for hubby & I to come meet him for lunch at his school. Isn't that sweet? I'm not gonna lie...I cannot stand eating in the cafeteria. It's loud, stressful, kids touching other kids food, kids trying to make your own kid feel bad for not sitting by them...just thinking about it makes my blood pressure rise. But we have done it because Lil Guy wants us there.

In the past, I have volunteered for Lil Guy's class. On those days, I would generally go ahead & have lunch with him, too. Like I said...the cafeteria experience always made my blood pressure rise...but I loved having that moment shared with Lil Guy. I loved knowing he was happy I was there.

This year, I was not asked to come volunteer weekly. So, I have fallen off the weekly lunching schedule. I think I might have eaten with him twice this year...maybe. He's really been on me again...but with hubby. Now hubby's schedule is hard to work around thru the day. He's had impromptu lunch meetings or working thru lunch...or days he needed to get stuff done at the house. He usually takes a later lunch, too. Apparently Lil Guy eats earlier. So it's been difficult.

He's been on a big kick of asking us to "surprise" him by bringing lunch. But he usually follows up with what day we should "surprise" him. (Yeah...I don't think he is quite understanding the surprise element...) But he's been asking a lot. I keep informing him that I need to work around daddy's schedule. He knows, but really wants us to come meet him for lunch.

Lil Guy pressed again today. I had to inform him that I didn't know hubby's schedule yet. He knew that. It was breaking my heart...
We didn't make it to lunch with him today. And I'm dwelling on it. Horribly.

With all of the violence that has happened that everyone keeps ridiculously debating over...people have lost their lives. School children, college students, innocent bystanders...have lost their lives. They didn't get one more lunch date with their family...their families didn't get one more game to watch with them, one more dinner, one more shopping outing, etc...
We had a guy at our church who was very active in and around the church. He was a very healthy guy who had a fluke health thing happen, and was gone. It was a shock. He will not sing in the choir or church quartet, he will have no more say in meetings, he will not lead another class, he will not get another round of golf with the guys, he will not get another baseball game with his son or a dinner with his wife.

That kind of insanity is dwelling on me. However, I would not miss a single one of any of Lil Guy's ball games or programs if I could help it. I turned down 2 amazing opportunities next month so I could watch Lil Guy play his games.

That's what would happen with any of my kids. If there's a play, performance, game, program, etc. that I need to be at...I will make it work. I will work any extras around their schedules so I can root my kids on & support them!

So...tomorrow...hubby & I will "surprise" Lil Guy with lunch. No amount of laundry, cleaning, dishes, shopping, planning, phone calls, or any other event will stop me from making my kid feel special. Especially when he still wants us around.

I love my kids that much. And I hate feeling guilty about even missing any of their things for any reason.

Oh...and don't tell Lil Guy about know...that whole "surprise thing" and all...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

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