Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Why AM~Erica is Not Fond of Games

So anyway...

We've made it to a new year. Everyone is talking about what they are going to change (again), or try to start doing (again), and many of the same blah-blah resolutions they have made for years, and never seem to keep, but seem to keep making them goals for themselves. I hope this is the year you keep your resolutions this time, people!
 "Second verse: same as the first..."

Oh yuck. I've started this year with a cynical tone. But I've witnessed & experienced an issue that has leaked into the new year from the old from many (and it's fresher with some & ongoing with others) that is ugly. It's the ugly tone that was set thru last year that has left a taste in people's mouths that is disgusting, but we seem to keep going back to it as a whole.

When the elections kicked up, it brought out quite a sense of this ugliness that many are not willing to shake. Some already possessed this & use it to this day. Some found social media to continue their ways in this manner, or found this annoyance as a new sense of being. I see it happen with friends, family, coworkers, fellow church goers, with clients, on Facebook, on Twitter, in the media, in politics...

Any guesses as to what I might be talking about?
If you guessed "MANIPULATION," then you would be correct!

My family gets really frustrated because I'm not a fan of game night. I refuse to play any of them online, too. But I think I'm am so burnt out of daily manipulative game-play of hearts & minds...that I am sick of it. I don't play those games. And I'm even more tired of watching those who allow the games to go on & get sucked into them. Some of them...for years.

That's right! This Homey WON'T play dat!

Do you know what's even more sad? They don't want to be told they are playing these games or have been sucked into these games. Do you know what happens? I am one that gets looked down upon because I refuse to play. And since I don't play these games...anything I do or say around these situations gets tossed to the side. I've even been criticized for not being a pawn. That's not how it's worded...because these individuals don't realize they are being used as pawns, themselves. How dare me not be a chess piece in someone else's strategy to "win" at life in such manipulative ways.

Social media manipulation at its finest

And there's something worse. It's when the manipulators are being manipulated by someone else playing their own manipulative games. Or...the ones who are sucked into being pawns into more than one of these games.

I have played these games & have been played in someone else's games in the past. I don't like it one bit. Either side of it. It's awful & don't understand how people can live with themselves trying to crush people to make themselves feel better.

Sadly, it's when I stand up to these people (and I do & I will when need be) that it gets taken that I'm trying to crush them. I don't play those games. It's one thing to tell people like it is & another to crush someone on purpose. If what I say is comes from truth. I don't just make up things to make anyone feel bad.

Trust me...I've gotten enough criticism about me. I know & realize when I'm wrong. Sometimes it takes a while to sink in, but I know. I can also take on good debates about things...if it's warranted. There's a time & a place for all of this stuff, my friends...and family. And I have witnessed & experienced stuff lately that leaves me scratching my head.

Many of these people who are the manipulators have deep issues of their own. Either they don't want to face them or are too afraid to. This past year, I made the effort to be very open about some very serious issues of mine. So you know where I'm coming from when I'm not seeming quite right, or if I snap at someone, or if I don't seem like myself.

This is one of the heavy-hearted posts. Because several have chosen to ring in the new year with such high levels of fake manipulation to make themselves feel's actually pathetic. And...the people who let it continue to happen like nothing is wrong with the picture.

I am, generally, a very positive person. But I do try to see a whole picture of things, too. There are such one-sided, close-minded power trips going on...and the people out there rooting them & each other on in this ridiculousness.

I see it happen for "love", "money", "power", "acceptance", etc. And all of these things are in quotations because you cannot obtain any of these with manipulation...or if you think you do, you cannot sustain it.

One of my favorites is when the manipulators say they are the calm ones &/or they have seen the big they have it all figured out. I have found that these manipulators have lack of loyalty, lack of "common" sense (which really isn't common anymore), lack of actual positive attitude, and a lack of love.

I'm looking for my cape as we speak...

My blog has allowed me to open up & be straight forward about a lot of things. I thank all of you delightfully crazy people who have come along for the ride. And anyone who doesn't read my blog doesn't know much about me. That includes any family or friends or otherwise who try to start their manipulative ways with me. I cannot force them to read it, but it contains a lot of stuff about where I come from.

See the blog list over on the right? Those are my ongoing top 10 most popular blog posts. I don't control that. And, 8 of those 10 are SOAPBOXY ONES. And 8 of the 10 shown (and not necessarily the same ones) are from this past year. (the 8 of 10 stats are as of the time of this may be different in a month or so...or not) There's apparently a lot of people who care to read where I come from. I also find it interesting that most of these are ones that people don't know how to take. No comments, no feedback...nothing. But they are read. A lot. And it seems not from people who need to read them before approaching particular subjects.

I'm not going to lie to you...there will be a couple of traumatic things that have happened to me in my lifetime that may never make this blog. Those are too deep, too awful, and way too personal to even put out there. Even for me. However...I will bring them up in confidential conversation if 1.) I trust you, and B.) the conversation warrants the subject matter. But I have opened up about many other things. And there are those who have confidentially shared with me their stories, too. Those who needed to say something to someone without being called out. And do you know what? All of these people who connected with me on these subjects are people I have not talked to in years. Many of my own family & close friends (except maybe one or two) won't even acknowledge it. It's either they don't want to read what I have to say, which is fine, or they like their blinders on & want to pretend it's not true.

Because I have opened up quite a bit & am willing to stand up for myself & for my ready for me to either have good debate with you (if it's a warranted time & place), or be ready for me to tell you that you are off base or being over-the-top.

I hate politics. I really do. I don't like politicians either. But if I'm passionate about something going on...I do think we should be able to contact our law makers. I will also give credit where credit is due...even if it's painful for me to say it. Another thing I did last year was put many of my political views out there. Again...those close to me that disagree with me just ignored it...or they made a bizarre point to NOT acknowledge it. Weird. I know I'm in line with many who feel they need to keep their mouths shut because of the far rights & far lefts (or those who aide them) want to just shout really loud & throw a lot of stones because you don't drink their brand of KOOLAID. And, in me putting out there my true views as being absolute moderate, I have actually been accused (yes, accused) of being biased. *face palm*

I know of many who could learn from this. Especially that "when to stop thing..."

People, we the people, put these manipulative, power-hungry lawmakers into office...and then throw a fit when it didn't go "our way". And then blame anyone & everyone else who doesn't see it "our way".

This is a modern day game of thrones, people. And so many are so sucked into it.

Yes...this...with the sword jabbed right in the center
Much like buying someone a toilet for someone because they wanted it, then also bringing your own toilet paper to use it first...then wonder why they didn't put a toilet cover on it yet.

Yep...I went there with the "throne" analogy. I think you can figure out why, too. And that's one of the main ways manipulators use, or attempt to use, those around them. It's either that or they raise a raucous to make a point that isn't going their way...and then run to their own throne, close & lock the door...and then pretend that anyone else who needs to use the "throne room" isn't a priority anymore because they need to sit & think about whether they need to use the throne or not.

There is also the manipulator that I call "the ruiner." You know the one that always must have their nose in every piece of your business, the pawn trusts them & tells them...then they give away the information because they have to be the ones to tell it, the ones on top, the ones to beat you to the punch? Whether it's news or a gift...before you can do anything, they've jumped all over the information that they really had nothing to do with in the first place? walking into the throne room while you're in there, wants to know why you're in there...and then they tag along to the doctor & they tell the doctor what's going on with you before you can. Yeah..."the ruiner."

Now the question becomes whether or not any of this hits home with you. Does it? Are you offended? If so...are you the manipulator or (well, maybe "and") the enabler pawn in the game?

I guess this post boils down to this: what are we gonna make of this new year? Another one of tried-and-failed health habits? Another of tried-and-failed money habits? Or do we want to actually break free from this game-playing madness? If you are an enabler being used as pawns in these games, I urge you to take off your blinders & stand up for yourselves. Tough love is not a bad thing...tearing down someone is. And, by being used as a pawn is another way of being bullied. Yes, you.

Break free, think for yourselves. It's more liberating & there's less game-playing & tip-toeing & tongue-biting going on. Trust me...we will all feel better once the game of thrones in actual reality (not the scripted tv stuff) is over & done. And you might want to take notes from those not willing to play these games. Break free from blaming others & start working on yourself. The greed & false sense of pride need to make their way out the door! And it's up to you to shake any of the dysfunction...and not let  that & the drama run you & how you think you should "run" others...rise above it!

If you've ever watched the Mel Gibson & Helen Hunt flick, "What Women Want", there is eventually an athletic shoe slogan given:
"No games, just sports."

No more games, people...just life.

I am wishing everyone a better, blessed & more free New Year. Thank you for hanging with me. It's good to let things go & make it known.

*deep breath in, deep breath out*

...moving on to more positive...

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica

No comments :

Post a Comment