Saturday, January 12, 2013

AM~Erica Has a Filter Malfunction

So anyway...

In case you are unaware, have forgotten, or need a reminder...I am, indeed, THE WIFE OF A PASTOR.

And most of you have an image in your head like I used to have about them. These days...those visions & thoughts are oh-so WRONG!!

There's something else you need to know or be reminded about: we are still human & are totally a regular folk.

There is a joke about me being called "first lady." Oh, it makes me cringe so much. Because I'm so not a Jackie O., Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Nancy Reagan, etc. type person. *cringes* NO-NO-NO!! But I tend to get looked at in that manner.

I. Am. Me. I am a strong Christian woman. Don't forget it! But I'm also not going to run up to you & start spouting scripture & tell you what you're doing wrong & how you should be like me. That's not fair. If scripture needs quoted, trust will be! But I want you to be you around me.

And because I'm such my own person, and will not squeeze myself into a mold I will not fit into, I have my human flaws. *GASP*

Much like the one that creeps out at strange & inopportune church & church-like settings.

Like the time that my hubby was on a short list to be a guinea pig for a possible interview style test to see if a pastor might be ready for a new church startup. He & I were invited to go to Columbia, MO (where the Missouri United Methodist Conference is headquartered) for this interview. It would include the interviewer, hubby & I, plus the Bishop of the Missouri UM Conference & the cabinet. It was an odd set up of having the cabinet & a video camera set up BEHIND hubby & I during the interview. Only the interviewer was facing the camera.

At the end of the interview session, the interviewer asked my hubby if there was anything he felt might have been left out of the interview. My hubby said he was surprised that the question wasn't raised about what the pastor's weakness(es) might interviewer turned to me & said, "So, Erica...what is Chris' weakness?" I was so put on the spot! I freaked a little, but answered, "Listening. It would be great if he listened more instead of trying so hard to jump on fixing things." (not verbatim, but you have the major gist) The interviewer turned to my hubby, then said that's basically what all guys do, called him "brother", then high-fived my hubby! As I was mortified by that awfulness, I heard laughing behind me..., remember everyone else is behind me, so I forgot who was back there. I stood up, turned swiftly, circled my right hand in the air to finish in a closed-hand position...when I realized I had just shushed the Missouri United Methodist cabinet...on camera. *face palm*

So, in Ron White fashion...I told you that story to go into these...

Because my inner filter malfunctions, I tend to do &/or say things at these times that turn them into "D'oh" moments & deserve a giant face palm. Like...tonight. I have a two-fer that happened within mere minutes of each other...
You may need to brace yourselves...

Tonight was our church's annual chili supper. It's known all over our large community. Hey! For a bowl of chili, veggie soup or a chili dog, plus a drink &'s only $5! Can't beat that!! And it goes from 4-7 PM...and it is always busy! Well, hubby & I sat at a table by ourselves, smack-dab in the center of the crowded gym. But several people always walk by for some quick conversation.

However, as we finished eating at our table, we get up JUST as another couple were ready to set their food at our table. I made a sarcastic joke to them that we were getting up & leaving because of the sole purpose that they showed up. The lady laughed & said it happens often. However, I made the joke at least 2 more times...when...someone told me...that it's our city's mayor & his wife! D'oh! *face palm* Think I made an impression?

Yeah, if that wasn't bad didn't stop there...

Then, as we were leaving, I was playing with a baby of one of our member families. Hubby ended up talking to some other folks that had entered to eat at the chili supper & I heard him introducing himself. I, then, hear him try to introduce me. So, I turned around, shook hands...and never got their names. But they came with one of our more stately & established members. They asked if we were smelling like chili filter malfunctioned as I said, "Well, we'll probably be smelling like chili later." Hubby's eyes about popped out of his head.

Yep...I disgraced myself in front of our mayor, and then turned around to make a fart joke. At church. I have SHAMED MYSELF yet again.

Please, folks...don't ever judge the pastor by their spouse. The spouse is an individual of their own...even though we are fully connected to your clergy. Things slip. We are human.

I am human...with a weird & wicked sense of humor. It's how God made me. Fearfully & wonderfully I am made. Sometimes the fearful part is greater than the wonderful part...and there might be times when it's the other way around. Just watch out when they work together!

Oh...and on a side note with some of this...always assume I don't know. If I do, it's bonus. But I probably don' don't ask me.

Oh...and on another note...there could be a whole other kind of special music at church tomorrow. You wanna come & find out?

Christ United Methodist Church has worship times as follows:
8:35 - traditional in the sanctuary
9:45 - is learning hour (aka Sunday School)
10:55 - contemporary in the sanctuary & traditional in the chapel

Stay tuned...

God Bless, AM~Erica
P.S. ~ Yes...I totally used a fart joke to invite you to church.

1 comment :

  1. Ay-yuh, I feel your chagrin. I did something very similar to former KC mayor and local Good Deed Dooer Richard Berkely. Remind me to tell you the story sometime (he was not amused, we'll start there.)